JLv3.0 wrote: Mon Sep 10, 2018 5:24 pm
Mate it's the devil! Talk about entering a netherworld of semi-consciousness! But glad it worked for you obvs
Ok, that was a bit of flippant post to throw up and walk away from.
To give you a short version of my insomnia story - back in 2012 some bad shit happened, and I simply stopped being able to sleep. I would crash through exhaustion but then be wide awake <1 hour later. After a few weeks of never getting more than 1 hour, I was a total mess - paranoid, panic attacks every day, fucked cognitive function etc. At that point, half the problem was the lack of sleep was spiking my adrenaline, and the whole thing was a becoming a self-fulfilling cycle.
First things I tried were tranqs - Zopiclone and Diazapam (not at the same time

). On those, I'd get maybe 2-3 hours sleep, but wake up in a semi-dream state, which could lead to even worse panic attacks, as I couldn't always differentiate between reality and dream hallucinations.
I went through all the meditation, self-hypnosis crap. Some was partially useful (in that it at least provides a distraction strategy when you're staring at the ceiling at 2am), but TBH by the time I was trying it, there were some serious chemical problems going on that no amount of breathing and counting were ever going to solve.
My GP (whose response to my complaints of virtually constant suicidal thoughts was to tell me to "man up"

) sent my off for CBT (not before 12 more weeks of this shite). What a complete waste of everyone's time! I had to spend a hour a week listening to a 19 year old psychology undergraduate tell me how I need to "break my problems down into manageable chunks" and "think them through logically" (I was working as an senior financial analyst at the time!).
So, that's where the melatonin came in - a friend gave me a bottle of 5mg caps. That was the start of the return back to semi-normality. I think I took tablets for the first four nights, and managed 4, then 5, then 6 hours sleep. Doesn't sound like much, but after such a long time in the desert, the first drink of water was a massive, massive relief. Basically, I went on to use them to enforce a "no 2 bad nights" rule - if I had one bad night, I would definitely dose myself the second night to make sure I never got back to the cycle of massive overtiredness perpetuating total insomnia.
Personally, I never found them too bad in terms of the "netherworld" - certainly far less bad than the tranqs, and nothing a strong cup of morning coffee couldn't sort. I did occasionally find they made me wake up horny as fuck, but that's a different story
So, I honestly say they saved my life, but mostly by breaking the cycle, and then subsequently being a psychological crutch (the safety of knowing they were on my bedside table, even if I didn't take them).
The other drug which I thought played a pivitol role in the recovery was tryptophan (although possibly because my specific problem was down to having run my serotonin levels so low). I only started taking them once the sleep patterns were back to a slightly-precarious 4-5 hours *most* nights, but found one before bed would pretty much guarantee a decent night's sleep, but more importantly, a much more "together" outlook when I woke (which in turn gave me increased ability to internally manage my anxieties). Highly recommended, and no side-effects to speak of if its not the right thing.
Oh, and while I'm telling the story, it's worth saying that the traditional crap they tell you *is* worth doing, even if no one element will be the panacea to solve the problem so - cut down (or out) the booze (it knocks you out, but acts as a stimulant 4 hours later); declutter and simplify your bedroom; get rid of tellies, tablets, phones etc in the bedroom (blue light thing, as well as just general stimulation); sex before bed; lower bedroom temperature 1-2 degrees below what you think is ideally comfy; always get up and do something else if you're awake for more than 15 minutes, and don't try and come back for at least 30 minutes; and, above all, make your own bed *the comfiest place in the goddamn world*.
Here endeth the lesson, but I guess the take-away advice is "don't ignore it". Do whatever you can, whatever works for you, to solve the problem on a night by night basis (in my case it was the melatonin), and never get to a point where the fatigue from insomnia is becoming a major cause of ongoing insomnia.