How far would you go to help the Police?
Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2025 2:44 pm
Buckle up, it's story time...
TLDR: Fucking clowns
It's Wednesday night, just after 10pm. The big cat is purring (oh ffs stopit) along the A143 from Bury St Edmunds, heading home to Harleston. I've joined at the Ixworth roundabout and fairly quickly caught up with an HGV and behind it a 3 year old Audi Q5, with no lights on. At all.
It's dark but not can't see where you're going dark, but past lighting up time anyway. You see these numpties now and again and usually a quick flash or two and they twig. Not this guy. He's right up the chuff of the HGV in front.
So I follow at a respectable distance and I'm starting to wonder what the situation is here. It's getting dark quite quickly now and he's wandering around his lane a bit. Some 14 miles later we arrive at the Stuston roundabout, just before Diss, and although the HGV is still in front he mostly navigates the roundabout by braille. It was at this point I decided I needed to phone this in - we're way past the point of him just not realising his lights are off.
There's a mile to go before the A143/A140 roundabout at Diss, and so I dial 999 and get put through to Norfolk Police control room. I explain what's occurring, give the call handler the reg of the Audi, my reg and details, and she asks if I can follow safely while they organise a unit to intercept.
Home is now 8 miles straight on at the roundabout, it's nearly 10.30pm. The fucker takes the 3rd exit and goes south on the A140. I guess I'm not going home just yet. I'm relaying this to the call handler, she works out where we are and asks me to continue to provide a running commentary of our location so they can co-ordinate. Yes ok, I'll do that. Thinking 5/10 mins or so they'll have someone on us and I can do a u-ey and go home.
He's got nobody in front of him now, and without any street lighting he's all over the place until we catch up to some slower traffic. I'm relaying all this, and we continue down the A140. Units are coming, she thinks from both directions. But now we've crossed the border into Suffolk and they've handed it over to them (Norfolk and Suffolk roads policing are combined so I thought this was odd, but it will become clear why, I think anyway).
Thornham comes and goes, Mendlesham, through the Stonhams and we're getting towards the end of the A140, where your choices are into Needham village, or heaven-forbid onto the A14. She says I can see a unit coming on my tracker, I'm trying to get an ETA, please keep the commentary coming. I tell her we're going to be on the A14 soon and that feels somewhat sketchy. It is now, obviously, pitch dark. I'm 16 miles out of my way and 24 miles from home.
We're now southbound on the A14. He's in the outside lane, overtaking, doing around 80 completely dark. "Units are on their way, thank you for following, can you keep him in sight if possible". I'm so far from home I'm here for the ride now whatever. The Audi has slowed up a bit and I've caught him up, sitting safely back but directly behind, reeling off the junctions and landmarks as we go. We're now at Sproughton just outside Ipswich, into the roadworks and down to 45-50 single file. Finally I'm told, a unit is behind in the roadworks and will make their way past ASAP.
I'm wondering at this point if it's a copper on his push bike, or maybe there's only 1 policeman in all of Suffolk and he was busy doing something else for half hour, such is the time it's taken to get this far. I'm 23 miles out of my way now. These roadworks go on forever. Eventually, we're back into clear running and finally I can see blue lights behind me in the distance. We're past the A12 exit and heading for the Orwell bridge now, which is another set of huge roadworks.
The unit is bearing down, the roadworks are fast approaching. There's now another car between me and the Audi. I decide to get out of the throttle and keep hard left, which should just about give him space to go through before the single-lane. But he doesn't, and drops in behind me, and after a few moments turns off the blues. I can see it's one of those Peugeot's they're using now. Clearly not a traffic unit.
I'm still talking to the control room, she says they know who you are, where the Audi is and will come by as and when. Stay on with me until they've got him stopped. Ok. Fine.
He's off at J57, into Ransomes industrial area, I follow, the cop car is behind me, his blues are on again. Can you guess where this is going?
There's a roundabout coming up, it's got one of those turn left only lanes that's a separate lane from the main roundabout, and there's a barrier between so you can't change your mind once committed. I didn't see this in the dark and watching many things at once and in my attempt at making as much space for matey behind to come past quickly as possible I'm committed, the Audi has gone straight over. I tell the controller this, and that the unit is still right up my chuff and I think he wants me to stop. She says "what?! Hang on I'll try and talk to them". The sirens are on. I'm going to have to stop now and pull in.
The Audi is long gone.
They approach my car, I wind down my window and exclaim "it's not me you're after! He went that way! <points>". The controller is "on my god I'm so sorry". The officer says "oh, err, well we had been given your reg number". It's a pair of bobbies from Stowmarket in a regular patrol car.
The lady on the phone speaks "hello it's Norfolk Police control here, why have you stopped this gentleman?" They fluff something about a comms mixup and she says "thank you so much for all you've done, I'm very very sorry, I will have to go now and leave you with these officers, take care Tim".
Honestly you couldn't make this up. I say to them, I've been following this car giving a running commentary from Diss and I'm now 52 miles from home! They were very apologetic and insisted it was a control room issue. I said didn't they tell you he was driving with no lights on, he was 2 cars in front, and they said yeah we just thought you'd turned them back on. Shook my hand said sorry about 20 more times and said they'd see if they could get him on ANPR and disappeared back into the night.
So I drove just over 60 miles further than I needed to just for the lols, and spent 37 mins talking to a nice lady in the control room. I got home just before midnight. Not sure I'd bother my arse next time. Would you?
TLDR: Fucking clowns
It's Wednesday night, just after 10pm. The big cat is purring (oh ffs stopit) along the A143 from Bury St Edmunds, heading home to Harleston. I've joined at the Ixworth roundabout and fairly quickly caught up with an HGV and behind it a 3 year old Audi Q5, with no lights on. At all.
It's dark but not can't see where you're going dark, but past lighting up time anyway. You see these numpties now and again and usually a quick flash or two and they twig. Not this guy. He's right up the chuff of the HGV in front.
So I follow at a respectable distance and I'm starting to wonder what the situation is here. It's getting dark quite quickly now and he's wandering around his lane a bit. Some 14 miles later we arrive at the Stuston roundabout, just before Diss, and although the HGV is still in front he mostly navigates the roundabout by braille. It was at this point I decided I needed to phone this in - we're way past the point of him just not realising his lights are off.
There's a mile to go before the A143/A140 roundabout at Diss, and so I dial 999 and get put through to Norfolk Police control room. I explain what's occurring, give the call handler the reg of the Audi, my reg and details, and she asks if I can follow safely while they organise a unit to intercept.
Home is now 8 miles straight on at the roundabout, it's nearly 10.30pm. The fucker takes the 3rd exit and goes south on the A140. I guess I'm not going home just yet. I'm relaying this to the call handler, she works out where we are and asks me to continue to provide a running commentary of our location so they can co-ordinate. Yes ok, I'll do that. Thinking 5/10 mins or so they'll have someone on us and I can do a u-ey and go home.
He's got nobody in front of him now, and without any street lighting he's all over the place until we catch up to some slower traffic. I'm relaying all this, and we continue down the A140. Units are coming, she thinks from both directions. But now we've crossed the border into Suffolk and they've handed it over to them (Norfolk and Suffolk roads policing are combined so I thought this was odd, but it will become clear why, I think anyway).
Thornham comes and goes, Mendlesham, through the Stonhams and we're getting towards the end of the A140, where your choices are into Needham village, or heaven-forbid onto the A14. She says I can see a unit coming on my tracker, I'm trying to get an ETA, please keep the commentary coming. I tell her we're going to be on the A14 soon and that feels somewhat sketchy. It is now, obviously, pitch dark. I'm 16 miles out of my way and 24 miles from home.
We're now southbound on the A14. He's in the outside lane, overtaking, doing around 80 completely dark. "Units are on their way, thank you for following, can you keep him in sight if possible". I'm so far from home I'm here for the ride now whatever. The Audi has slowed up a bit and I've caught him up, sitting safely back but directly behind, reeling off the junctions and landmarks as we go. We're now at Sproughton just outside Ipswich, into the roadworks and down to 45-50 single file. Finally I'm told, a unit is behind in the roadworks and will make their way past ASAP.
I'm wondering at this point if it's a copper on his push bike, or maybe there's only 1 policeman in all of Suffolk and he was busy doing something else for half hour, such is the time it's taken to get this far. I'm 23 miles out of my way now. These roadworks go on forever. Eventually, we're back into clear running and finally I can see blue lights behind me in the distance. We're past the A12 exit and heading for the Orwell bridge now, which is another set of huge roadworks.
The unit is bearing down, the roadworks are fast approaching. There's now another car between me and the Audi. I decide to get out of the throttle and keep hard left, which should just about give him space to go through before the single-lane. But he doesn't, and drops in behind me, and after a few moments turns off the blues. I can see it's one of those Peugeot's they're using now. Clearly not a traffic unit.
I'm still talking to the control room, she says they know who you are, where the Audi is and will come by as and when. Stay on with me until they've got him stopped. Ok. Fine.
He's off at J57, into Ransomes industrial area, I follow, the cop car is behind me, his blues are on again. Can you guess where this is going?
There's a roundabout coming up, it's got one of those turn left only lanes that's a separate lane from the main roundabout, and there's a barrier between so you can't change your mind once committed. I didn't see this in the dark and watching many things at once and in my attempt at making as much space for matey behind to come past quickly as possible I'm committed, the Audi has gone straight over. I tell the controller this, and that the unit is still right up my chuff and I think he wants me to stop. She says "what?! Hang on I'll try and talk to them". The sirens are on. I'm going to have to stop now and pull in.
The Audi is long gone.
They approach my car, I wind down my window and exclaim "it's not me you're after! He went that way! <points>". The controller is "on my god I'm so sorry". The officer says "oh, err, well we had been given your reg number". It's a pair of bobbies from Stowmarket in a regular patrol car.
The lady on the phone speaks "hello it's Norfolk Police control here, why have you stopped this gentleman?" They fluff something about a comms mixup and she says "thank you so much for all you've done, I'm very very sorry, I will have to go now and leave you with these officers, take care Tim".
Honestly you couldn't make this up. I say to them, I've been following this car giving a running commentary from Diss and I'm now 52 miles from home! They were very apologetic and insisted it was a control room issue. I said didn't they tell you he was driving with no lights on, he was 2 cars in front, and they said yeah we just thought you'd turned them back on. Shook my hand said sorry about 20 more times and said they'd see if they could get him on ANPR and disappeared back into the night.
So I drove just over 60 miles further than I needed to just for the lols, and spent 37 mins talking to a nice lady in the control room. I got home just before midnight. Not sure I'd bother my arse next time. Would you?
