Japanese Engineering

[Sundayjumper]

I spent a couple of hours yesterday swearing at my neighbour's Honda CR-V.

Despite what you f**kers think, I'm actually quite a nice person and I offered to help them out by fitting a new alternator to their car while they're away visiting family up North.

Disconnect aux belt and the three bolts holding the alternator in place - under half an hour.

Dismantle the front end of the bloody car so you can actually get the bloody alternator out of the bloody thing - two hours Various bits of air con (which I did not want to disturb) and radiator and other engine parts are all in the way.

And this is why I don't buy Japanese cars. I learned that years ago when I had to replace a headlight on my wife's Celica and it involved removing the front bumper. I had an E36 at the time, on those it's a ten minute job. Deutschland über alles !!

[Swervin_Mervin]

And this is why I don't buy Japanese cars. I learned that years ago when I had to replace a headlight on my wife's Celica and it involved removing the front bumper. I had an E36 at the time, on those it's a ten minute job. Deutschland über alles !!

I've been looking into how to get the headlights out of an E90/E91. Guess what you need to do...

[scotta]

To replace the headlight bulbs on my Mk7 Golf R the bumper had to come off...

[drcarlos]

Replacing a radiator in the front of a Civic, drain cooling and unbolt radiator then lift the radiator out of the top of the engine bay.

VW Polo/Seat Ibiza/Skoda Fabia remove the entire front end of the car then follow the steps for the Civic, followed by remaking the wiring loom because all of the wires will be broken at the connectors.

[scotta]

To replace the headlight bulbs on the R26 you could contort your arm and self mutilate yourself to do it through the hatch in the wheel arch. However it was quicker to just remove the bumper. 3 or 4 bolts and some of those plastic push connectors were all that held the bumper on.

[Swervin_Mervin]

Ah - I read it as SJ meaning the whole headlight, not just the bulb.

Mostly fairly straightforward on the E90, unless it's the n/s dipped bulb you're changing. It is possible from within the engine bay, unless you have fat hands, but you will need a skin graft afterwards.

[Sundayjumper]

Ah - I read it as SJ meaning the whole headlight...

I did

And on the 996 & Cayenne it's literally a 30-second job to remove the headlight. Release a catch and it slides out.

[Mito Man]

I haven’t worked on Japanese cars, just the Kawasaki Mule but even that is interesting - the diff oils needs changing annually. To refill the front diff you must: Remove front bumper, remove front winch, remove 4 headlights, remove entire front bodywork. Now you can access the fill plug. Bastards.

[Swervin_Mervin]

Ah - I read it as SJ meaning the whole headlight...

I did

Deutschland no longer uber alles then.

It looks like I have dust in my headlights - not surprising given there's been a mountain of building waste on next door's lawn now for probably 10mo and the dust is getting everywhere. So I had been thinking about removing the headlights to make it easier to hoover them out. Looks like a bloody ballache though, so I may have to rig up a special hoover attachment.

[Jimmy Choo]

Right....

To change a bulb in the 166 you had to take off the cylinder heads, remove the boot liner, tune the radio to 94.7, take off the wheels and sacrifice a goat.

And you try telling that to German car designers these days and they won't believe you.

[Explosive Newt]

Right....

To change a bulb in the 166 you had to take off the cylinder heads, remove the boot liner, tune the radio to 94.7, take off the wheels and sacrifice a goat.

And you try telling that to German car designers these days and they won't believe you.

Tune to 94.7?? That was an engine out job in an MG.

[jamcg]

All these jobs would be so much easier if some twat didn’t put an engine in the way

[Beany]

All these jobs would be so much easier if some twat didn’t put an engine in the way

Most of the time it's the ancillaries. I think on the C4 it was easier to change the drivers side headlight bulb if you took out the airbox or some other piece of plastic tat, but there's no immediately obvious way to do it, so instead you just flay the skin off your wrist against it as you try to get the bloody spring clips back on.

[Barry]

Civic is similarly painful, offside headlamp has abs pump in the way so you need nanobots to change the bulb. Nearside, loads of room, two minute job with two human hands.

[Jimexpl]

Unfortunately manufacturers rarely care, even though most will have been using 3D assembly and servicing modelling for years now. Land Rover were into this early, perhaps knowing that even though they were good at designing vehicles, reliable manufacturing seems to elude them, so they’d better come apart easily!

Volvo sorted the headlight issue out in 2002 with the XC90 - removal took about 20 seconds. I don’t know if that’s continued under Geeky ownership.

I got pretty quick at taking the bumper off my Z4M after a series of headlight niggles.

I assume it’s not a problem anymore - LED lights last for ages and are unlikely to be serviceable if they do fail.