Mardy teenagers

[NotoriousREV]

He is far too clever for his age

90% of people's kids are above average intelligence.

With our kids, we reckon our eldest is “brand new” because he has no common sense or independence whatsoever (even as a baby he demanded constant attention) whereas the youngest is on his second time around at least because he’s very independent (he won’t let you help him at all until he’s well and truly given up) and just “gets” stuff easily. Both clever kids, but in very different ways.

[Gavin]

My wee girl is coming up 12 and goes to High School this year. She still gets on with her wee bro and is keen on doing her best at everything and thinks boys smell.

She does go from my baby girl to being a scornful of everything wee bollocks at the drop of a hat though and can burst in to tears at nothing (nothing as perceived by the rest of us usually, not just me).

I went in to kiss her goodnight and out of nowhere she was crying as I"you spend ages reading stories to Bendy and doing his dream" She has been reading her own books for years and was really independent and it really took me aback. I read her The Tinder Box which is in a book of HCA tales that I loved as kid. they are pretty dark.

I think she was such a Daddy;s girl when she was a tiny that sometimes growing up is just scary and although I cannot fathom her light switch mood changes or fully understand why something makes her sad I try an remember that if it is important to her I should at least sympathise, even if I struggle to empathise.

My wee boy on the other hand, loves Star Wars, farting and super heroes and lego.

TL:DR daughters seem to be more complicated than boys and I am not looking forward to the next ten years as much as I have enjoyed the last nearly 12.

[V8Granite]

He is far too clever for his age

90% of people's kids are above average intelligence.

It has started making me look at the postman a bit more closely s I can’t figure the brains part out

Dave!

[DeskJockey]

Slightly related, my daughter (two on Monday) proved she's mine for sure the other night. Had done bedtime and settled down on the sofa to relax. Half an hour or so after I thought she was asleep her clear child's voice could be heard throughout the house "far, I farted!". Definitely mine.

[Simon]

One of my favourite clips of my boy (nearly 5 months old) is just a 6 second clip of him lying on our bed, looking up at the camera and slightly wriggling and mew'ing. 5 seconds in he lets out this perfect ricochet fart and then gives this wry little smile of pure satisfaction and glee.

[KevH18]

I think if I had a daughter I’d be far too molly coddling and eventually they would turn on me and I’d have to fight the urge to kill anyone who touches her.

Dave!

I wish I could ready properly. Thought this said turn me on I'm not just trying to be funny either

[Richard]

Because I care about the environment, I don’t have kids

[Rich B]

Because I care about the environment, I don’t have kids

Is that your genuine reason? (I’m not preaching that everyone should want/have kids btw - just curious if the main reason is the environment).

[PaulJ]

Because I care about the environment, I don’t have kids

And anyway, where would you stow them? Proper cars don't have rear seats.

[Jobbo]

Because I care about the environment, I don’t have kids

Is that your genuine reason? (I’m not preaching that everyone should want/have kids btw - just curious if the main reason is the environment).

Because I don’t care about the environment, I don’t have kids.

...Is the more logical position. No need to worry about their legacy.

[Mito Man]

You’re all missing a trick here chaps.

Deep within your scrotums could lie the seed for change, the seed for a better future, the seed for Nobel prizes.
By not having kids you are denying the world a cure.

[Beany]

Deep within your scrotums could lie the seed for change, the seed for a better future, the seed for Nobel prizes.

My dirty sock drawer must, statistically, have cost us a cure for cancer a dozen times over.

Wait, did I say that out loud?

[nuttinnew]

You’re all missing a trick here chaps.

Deep within your scrotums could lie the seed for change, the seed for a better future, the seed for Nobel prizes.
By not having kids you are denying the world a cure.

How dare you!

[RobYob]

Deep within your scrotums could lie the seed for change, the seed for a better future, the seed for Nobel prizes.

My dirty sock drawer must, statistically, have cost us a cure for cancer a dozen times over.

Wait, did I say that out loud?

Why The FUCK do keep a drawer full of cumsocks?

Some sort of cumsock-mache avant-garde sculpture?

[Mito Man]

I hope he uses those anti bacterial bamboo socks

[Beany]

Deep within your scrotums could lie the seed for change, the seed for a better future, the seed for Nobel prizes.

My dirty sock drawer must, statistically, have cost us a cure for cancer a dozen times over.

Wait, did I say that out loud?

Why The FUCK do keep a drawer full of cumsocks?

Some sort of cumsock-mache avant-garde sculpture?

I'd never thought of that.

I mean, give it overnight and it's like plaster of fucking paris, innit.

.....just me?

[RobYob]

I hope he uses those anti bacterial bamboo socks

A bamboocumsock sculpture would probably end up in the fucking Tate if Beany could be pansexualised for a while.

[Rich B]

What the fuck are you two going on about?!

[Mito Man]

Ask [mention]mik[/mention] to clarify his bamboo sock escapades.

[mik]

I showed this thread to them - they are now hiding in the washing machine, trembling, begging me to keep the beanyman away.