Mental Health

[Beany]

Struggling again. Not slept properly for a couple of weeks now. I have this desperate need to change everything in my life, I then get overwhelmed by everything I think I need to do, get depressed, stressed and withdrawn and things get steadily worse. Bleugh.

Dude, I think our periods are in sync with the moon or something.

Go to bed last night at half past nine. No sleep, just sitting there. get up again at midnight, watch some subdued toot on the interwebz till I feel tired.

bed at half two. Sleep sometime after 3. Awake at 7. Fuck off the alarm, sleep in till quarter to nine. Roll into the office at half nine, growl at everyone in a moderately threatening manner.

They're kinda used to me going through these period though so no questions asked, coffee supplied, jokes made to cheer me up, have perked up a bit now, but no doubt I'll feel like garbage once I get home again.

Meh.

[Swervin_Mervin]

Go to bed last night at half past nine.

Any reason why so early?

[Beany]

Go to bed last night at half past nine.

Any reason why so early?

Just couldn't be fucked with the world generally.

And yes, I am thinking I need to get a change up in my meds. The citalopram is great for the anxiety, useless for motivation/energy/feeling like life is worth wasting my time with/insert obvious statement here.

I go through phases of this, but being blase to everything isn't helping.

[Swervin_Mervin]

Fair enough.

I only ask as one thing I've noticed amongst friends is that those who struggle to get to sleep, or struggle with insomnia regularly, are generally the ones that go to bed early (as in before 10pm).

[mik]

I dont head for bed til about midnight. Never have ANY problems getting to sleep. Getting back to sleep after awaking at 04:30 with The Fear however......

[Beany]

Fair enough.

I only ask as one thing I've noticed amongst friends is that those who struggle to get to sleep, or struggle with insomnia regularly, are generally the ones that go to bed early (as in before 10pm).

I typically go to bed around midnight-2am; it's just When I Get Tired. Tossing and turning in bed winds me up and wires me. I was pretty knackered yesterday evening but just couldn't drop off.

Oh well.

Not working in the evenings so much would help too, but I do non-strictly-sysadmin stuff (number builds, porting, etc - more soft telecoms stuff) faster than anyone else in the office, so that takes up office hours time I'd rather spend seeing how different indexing strategies affect query performance etc.

ho hum.

[Swervin_Mervin]

I dont head for bed til about midnight. Never have ANY problems getting to sleep. Getting back to sleep after awaking at 04:30 with The Fear however......

ALL OF THAT

[nuttinnew]

I read all posts and don't like that anyone is suffering, I don't tend to post because 1/. I'm made quite aware by various groups and courses I've been to that I'm 'different' - a euphemism for 'wrong' - and so I wouldn't want to say something that's then misconstrued and aggravates things, and 2/. while I've doubtless forgotten much I've learned there's still plenty in there; I don't do well with light or brief discussions

Recently;
wasn't doing well, am not doing well, won't be doing well (a couple of appts. coming up are all about judging me). I have the thought that I wish I had died a few years ago - not the cheeriest thing to be knocking about - and I don't have Moocher to look after so what's the point? There are probably a couple of things I could moan about but I can't be bothered.

[dinny_g]

I'm made quite aware by various groups and courses I've been to that I'm 'different' - a euphemism for 'wrong'

The same here Nuttinnew - whether it's FiroB or Facet5 or various conversation's with analysts and therapists over the years, I'm, well... different (no sniggering at the back... )

I blame reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy at 10...

[NotoriousREV]

I'm made quite aware by various groups and courses I've been to that I'm 'different' - a euphemism for 'wrong'

The same here Nuttinnew - whether it's FiroB or Facet5 or various conversation's with analysts and therapists over the years, I'm, well... different (no sniggering at the back... )

I blame reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy at 10...

There maybe something in that, as that's when I read it

[JLv3.0]

Yep same here

[NotoriousREV]

I read all posts and don't like that anyone is suffering, I don't tend to post because 1/. I'm made quite aware by various groups and courses I've been to that I'm 'different' - a euphemism for 'wrong' - and so I wouldn't want to say something that's then misconstrued and aggravates things, and 2/. while I've doubtless forgotten much I've learned there's still plenty in there; I don't do well with light or brief discussions

Recently;
wasn't doing well, am not doing well, won't be doing well (a couple of appts. coming up are all about judging me). I have the thought that I wish I had died a few years ago - not the cheeriest thing to be knocking about - and I don't have Moocher to look after so what's the point? There are probably a couple of things I could moan about but I can't be bothered.

Time for another dog. Be kind to yourself, dude.

[JLv3.0]

Yes, very much this. Standard operating procedure - get the next pet(s) as soon as you can. You need them but also they need you, so crack on.

[duncs500]

I'm made quite aware by various groups and courses I've been to that I'm 'different' - a euphemism for 'wrong'

The same here Nuttinnew - whether it's FiroB or Facet5 or various conversation's with analysts and therapists over the years, I'm, well... different (no sniggering at the back... )

I blame reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy at 10...

There maybe something in that, as that's when I read it

I've just started reading them, hopefully I'm old enough that it won't make me a nutter like you lot!

[Beany]

The same here Nuttinnew - whether it's FiroB or Facet5 or various conversation's with analysts and therapists over the years, I'm, well... different (no sniggering at the back... )

I blame reading Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy at 10...

There maybe something in that, as that's when I read it

I've just started reading them, hopefully I'm old enough that it won't make me a nutter like you lot!

Er, and here. Blimey.

Spent three hours tonight rebuilding the works laptop to fix the wonky display (intermittent break on LVDS cable, very obvious fault, took three months to get agreement to order the part because I don't have any spend control ), so as I certainly don't get paid for this crap, and as I was explicitly barred from doing it at work, my main thought tonight is, do I have a very late start, or a very early finish tomorrow?

I do like the idea of strolling out at lunchtime flipping everyone off and crying 'so long losers' at 'em, but on the other hand, I *do* like a nice lie in....

Decisions, decisions.

[duncs500]

There maybe something in that, as that's when I read it

I've just started reading them, hopefully I'm old enough that it won't make me a nutter like you lot!

Er, and here. Blimey.

Apologies, meant entirely in a light hearted manner.

Before I gracefully bow out of this thread, FWIW these type of threads have been great for helping me get an understanding of the issues on a topic that people rarely discuss. As a person, friend, and manager of people I take mental health far more seriously as a result of these threads than I would have otherwise. Hopefully they help those that are suffering just as much.

[Beany]

I do like the idea of strolling out at lunchtime flipping everyone off and crying 'so long losers' at 'em, but on the other hand, I *do* like a nice lie in....

Of course this didn't happen. So I'll see if I can sod off early. I'm not working for fucking free.

[Explosive Newt]

Go to bed last night at half past nine.

Any reason why so early?

Just couldn't be fucked with the world generally.

And yes, I am thinking I need to get a change up in my meds. The citalopram is great for the anxiety, useless for motivation/energy/feeling like life is worth wasting my time with/insert obvious statement here.

I go through phases of this, but being blase to everything isn't helping.

Mirtazapine I have in general found to be better for the 'non-mood' symptoms of depression (energy/appetite/sleep) but can make anxiety worse! What works for who is so individual. Sometimes a short course of zopiclone to break the cycle of insomnia can work. Good luck with it.

[Beany]

Yeah, I've been thinking of going on something more 'speedy', as I think I'm better at handling the anxiety in general (due to being used to not reacting excessively to things that don't require an excessive reaction, as it were).

I'll probably have a chat with the GP about getting something closer to prescribed methampetamine next time I come around to renewal time.

Oh, and of course I didn't get my time in lieu. Apparently I need to tell someone 'suitably important' if I want to take time in lieu.

Bitch, I'm on call 24/7 and have been for the last three years, report purely to the MD and CEO, and I never get a day off to myself, ever, without being interrupted by works bollocks - mostly sent by you - so go fuck yer hat.

And yes, I've been working tonight too. Quelle surprise, eh?

I have a plan for that, however. Nothing fancy, just meticulously recording my out of hours time, and being extremely brutal about making sure I make it back - and having very strong words with the MD and CEO if I can't - which I know I won't be able to.

Which, given the person noted above has been repeatedly bollocked for thinking he manages me (he doesn't - not in any form) should make for some interesting meetings for him...

You've got to entertain yourself at work, eh?

[Broccers]

Sounds like your job is a problem. Maybe exercise more, have time for your stuff, don't smoke weed and give booze a miss