Smallest builder's van?

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Nefarious
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Smallest builder's van?

Post by Nefarious »

Ok, so I'm in a bit of a situation. The Merc has catastrophically shat it's biscuits and I'm up to my eyes in flat refurbs. So, the obvious answer is to make a teeny tiny van!

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£2k with 50k on the clock. Base spec 1.2.

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Rear seats removed and lined with the old Merc boot mat
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough"
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Nefarious
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Nefarious »

Image

Cut up conveyor belt as heavy duty floor matting

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And a sneaky security mod. Builders band to block access to the OBD2 port, secured with *imperial* bolts (I'm expecting average car thieves don't carry imperial allens).

Needed because I had this car nicked 3 days after buying it. Apparently, you can buy an immobilizer bypass key for them for £50 :shock:
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough"
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Delphi
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Location: Leeds, West Yorkshire
Currently Driving: 1987 Porsche 928 S4
2025 Skoda Kodiaq SE

Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Delphi »

I approve of your OBD2 lock! 8-)
If you get all wobbly-lipped about the opinion of Internet strangers, maybe it's time to take a bath with the toaster as you'll never amount to sh1t anyway.
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Beany
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Beany »

What, no ex-BT Mk1 Ka vans for sale in your area?

(They're legit good little vans if you can find one without rust, which is impossible)
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Nefarious
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Nefarious »

Beany wrote: Thu Oct 15, 2026 6:00 pm What, no ex-BT Mk1 Ka vans for sale in your area?

(They're legit good little vans if you can find one without rust, which is impossible)
Problem with an *actual* van (even if it's just a paneled hatchback) is they charge you £100 a time for going to the tip).

Besides, my mate had this 500 sat there the day the Merc decided to spit all its oil on the floor, and I happened to have cash in my pocket, so it saved me the bus fare home!
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough"
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Nefarious
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Nefarious »

Delphi wrote: Thu Oct 15, 2026 3:48 pm I approve of your OBD2 lock! 8-)
It's mental. Until this got nicked 3 days after I bought it, I had no idea we were back to the 80s in terms of car-theivability.

Most stuff from the 2010s you can just buy immobiliser keys of the interweb for sub-£100, and you can buy flippers/code grabbers for the more modern stuff for under £200.
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough"
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mik
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by mik »

I like your approach to the OBD port. Just a watch-out though ~ I don’t know what size you have used, but I recently found out that a far safer way to remove a 3/16” Allen bolt without rounding it off, is with a T-30 Torx driver rather than a 3/16” Allen key.
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Nefarious
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Nefarious »

Fair point, but they'll still need a 7/16 spanner for the non-captive nyloc on the back.

I'm gambling on the fact that the average tealeaf isn't going to have the aptitude or inclination to try to figure out in the dark why tf the magic plastic thingy doesn't just go in the hole.

I have also bought a kroklock. Make your own inferences on my confidence levels.
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough"
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Zonda_
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Zonda_ »

I have an Abarth 595, the first think I read was, get extra security!
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mik
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by mik »

Nefarious wrote: Thu Oct 15, 2026 8:01 pm
I'm gambling on the fact that the average tealeaf isn't going to have the aptitude or inclination to try to figure out in the dark why tf the magic plastic thingy doesn't just go in the hole.
Valid!
V8Granite
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by V8Granite »

A little disappointed you didnt do the fake ODB port and Capacitor trick.

Dave!
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Nefarious
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Re: Smallest builder's van?

Post by Nefarious »

V8Granite wrote: Fri Oct 16, 2026 9:42 am A little disappointed you didnt do the fake ODB port and Capacitor trick.

Dave!
I'm not familiar with this trick, but the two words OBD and capacitor tell me all I need to know. *I'm* disappointed I didn't think of that. I'm clearly slipping :lol:
"If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough"
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