Your fleet running reports

[IanF]

Well that’s a massive pita! Almost wish they’d actually stolen it as then it’d be your insurers problem and not yours..

If car cannot be moved due damage, surely insurance should organise transportation to garage?

[Beany]

Well that’s a massive pita! Almost wish they’d actually stolen it as then it’d be your insurers problem and not yours..

If car cannot be moved due damage, surely insurance should organise transportation to garage?

Yeah, that's what I'm thinking;

Get CSI out (done a quick eval over the phone with a natty video sharing link - if you need to us it, it's simple and works, no audio though)
Call insurance
Get them to send someone who can lift the car, not try to tow it (the park pin will probably break if they try that) unless they're happy jacking the car up on a fairly nasty slope....
Get it fixed, get a courtesy car in the meantime

Then probably trade it in for something more anonymous once it's sorted. I can't see some glass a few bits of wiring loom being priced up at thousands, there doesn't appear to be literally any other damage, etc.

Maybe one of those nice 335d or 530ds people have been talking about. Perhaps those comfort seats are more my style these days....

And yeah, got about two hours sleep last night. Was supposed to have this week off so I could unwind after a rough few months at work, I'm now wound up like a fucking spring again

Cops have all been very chill, FWIW.

[V8Granite]

That’s a stress nobody needs. Hoping the repair process is straight forward and simple.

Dave!

[Gavin]

Aw Beany, that is so shite! I still look at "nice" cars and then thank "nah, not worth the risk" as I don't want someone breaking into the house for keys again.

I was glad the cars got pinched rather than joy ride or just damaged though. I hope you get sorted v quickly.

Join the club and try and work out what will be utterly anonymous and not nickable. Maybe a pink wrap with purple wheels would stop anyone on the rob?

[Gavster]

What a pita! Hope you get it fixed quickly.

My 335i got broken into twice in one week which is when I started using those huge stoplok things.

[mik]

That’s really shit Beany

[Beany]

What a pita! Hope you get it fixed quickly.

My 335i got broken into twice in one week which is when I started using those huge stoplok things.

Wouldn't have stopped this lot, they'd have just dragged it on the suspension arms I reckon.

Anyway, CSI have been, there was what she reckons is some blood, so that's nice - hope that smarts ya prick - and I berated her for using a Nikon, not a Canon camera, because fuck me I'm a charmer.

Had a closer look in the boot now that I can touch the car properly, and the main computer in the back has the majority of it's ports broken - which is why the car won't start. I'm handy, but I can't recreate automotive connectors.

Guess it's time to call the insurance, and advise them the cars literally immovable....

[Matty]

That's shit, Beany

So was their plan to break the window, send a fake recovery van around to pick it up (on the basis neighbours wouldn't question it, given then broken windows) ? So what was the reasoning for ripping out everything from under the boot?

[Sundayjumper]

Had a closer look in the boot now that I can touch the car properly, and the main computer in the back has the majority of it's ports broken - which is why the car won't start. I'm handy, but I can't recreate automotive connectors.

That sounds like the kind of thing that could write it off - BMW won’t faff about repairing individual plugs, it’ll be a whole loom, which could turn out to be an enormous piece of work.

[Beany]

That's shit, Beany

So was their plan to break the window, send a fake recovery van around to pick it up (on the basis neighbours wouldn't question it, given then broken windows) ? So what was the reasoning for ripping out everything from under the boot?

I guess to immobilise the car. Without seeing all parts of it, it won't start, which means it won't come out of park.....

[Beany]

Had a closer look in the boot now that I can touch the car properly, and the main computer in the back has the majority of it's ports broken - which is why the car won't start. I'm handy, but I can't recreate automotive connectors.

That sounds like the kind of thing that could write it off - BMW won’t faff about repairing individual plugs, it’ll be a whole loom, which could turn out to be an enormous piece of work.

Not impossible. We shall see....

[Marv]

That's utterly shite Beany. Hope getting it repaired (or replaced) isn't too much of a painful process.

[Matty]

That's shit, Beany

So was their plan to break the window, send a fake recovery van around to pick it up (on the basis neighbours wouldn't question it, given then broken windows) ? So what was the reasoning for ripping out everything from under the boot?

I guess to immobilise the car. Without seeing all parts of it, it won't start, which means it won't come out of park.....

Doesn't make and sense to me, but then, they're not the cleverest people so I guess caveman antics of hitting it with rocks makes sense to them.

And I know we (collective) discussed this before with the stupidity of having the ZF release *under* the car, same concern I had with my Giulia. At least with other automatics I've seen the relase is under the trim internally.

[Beany]

My guess is they don't give a shit about the lower suspension arms that can be bought for fifty quid a side, but headlights, ECUs, interiors, engine, gearbox etc are worth enough otherwise.

Called insurance (BMW insurance, no less) and got the out of hours team, they're arranging recovery, with the specific note that the car can't be pushed or pulled and they'll really want something that can lift.

Edit: Recovery guy has plastic skates he reckons will do the job, should be here soon.

[Mito Man]

Tow truck driver must have been in on it?

[Beany]

Tow truck driver must have been in on it?

Cops say it's a coin flip. Some are, some aren't. Them chipping off, off their own back, makes me suspicious.

Got a few laughs out of the CSI lass, so not a total loss I guess.

(and yes, I'm at the age where all the cops are younger than me, now)

[Sundayjumper]

Yeah, surprised the police didn’t grab him for a quick word. Knowing where he’d been told to take it would have been quite useful.

[John]

Anyway, CSI have been, there was what she reckons is some blood, so that's nice - hope that smarts ya prick - and I berated her for using a Nikon, not a Canon camera, because fuck me I'm a charmer.

When my Lexus was broken into blood was found and used to trace and prosecute the oxygen thief responsible, they were linked to eight other car break ins that night! He was ordered to pay our £50 glass excess at £5 a week of which we received the first £5 and then radio silence

Good luck getting it sorted.

[Beany]

Yeah, surprised the police didn’t grab him for a quick word. Knowing where he’d been told to take it would have been quite useful.

Yeah, when they turned up, the cops suggested I take a step inside and let them deal with it - entirely understandable cos much as though you can rag on 'police intelligence' etc, they are often quite good at doing some light cold reading to get people to accidentally let stuff slip. They said afterwards they didn't have enough to nick them, because it could plausibly have been legit, no matter how sus it is. That, and the recovery guy said he'd been caught in stuff like that before, which does suggest that he might just be getting dragged into someone elses fuckabout.

Anyway, recovery truck - the real one - has been and gone. Used skids to 'reverse' the car onto his fucking 30ft bastard huge lorry, which me and me neighbour were transfixed by until his missus came out and suggested that it's fathers day he gets to drool over lorries, on mothers day he should be looking after her

So the car and it's security, are officially No Longer My Fucking Problem, which is good because I ran out of fucking duct tape for the cardboard covering the broken window after removing/readding/it getting tangled up - recovery guy says he's got a lad who'll sort that out.

I think I'm gonna try to get some sleep now

[V8Granite]

That's shit, Beany

So was their plan to break the window, send a fake recovery van around to pick it up (on the basis neighbours wouldn't question it, given then broken windows) ? So what was the reasoning for ripping out everything from under the boot?

I guess to immobilise the car. Without seeing all parts of it, it won't start, which means it won't come out of park.....

Doesn't make and sense to me, but then, they're not the cleverest people so I guess caveman antics of hitting it with rocks makes sense to them.

And I know we (collective) discussed this before with the stupidity of having the ZF release *under* the car, same concern I had with my Giulia. At least with other automatics I've seen the relase is under the trim internally.

This is how they got my dog walkers Defender and an X5 of someone my wife knows. No-one questions the hi viz.

Dave!