DC Purge Ltd

[mik]

All of our houses run on A C - hence the little electrickle particles are flipped back and forth 50 times per second to power your appliances.

The majority of the electrons therefore never leave your house - this leads to electron fatigue, causing a fuzzy supply that is inefficient and could even damage your expensive electrical items.

To combat this, I’ve now started DC-Purge limited. We provide a nationwide service to run your property on DC for sufficient time to restock your cables with fresh electrons. With our leading edge technology we are able to perform this remotely with just your postcode and address - minimum disruption for you!

With fresh electrons you can be assured of safe and smoothe supply for a minimum of 3 years. GUARANTEED.

The standard cost for this is £1000 per home, but I am able to offer a forum early adopter discount at just £750 per home.

Book now to avoid disappointment!

[Rich B]

Sounds great, sign me up!

i’ve been doing all the long term maintenance jobs on my house recently - last week i turned all my windows upside down to stop the glass getting too thick at the bottom.

[Barry]

I discharge my tired electrons into the car and use them up, so I get regular fresh electrons through my smart meter

[Explosive Newt]

This is just the thing I need, Mrs Newt left a plug socket on and the window open so all of our electrons got out.

I sometimes think of schemes like this and wonder about the ethics of selling snake oil to credulous morons. On the one hand, you're selling something that doesn't work, on the other hand if people are willing to buy it...

[mik]

I discharge my tired electrons into the car and use them up, so I get regular fresh electrons through my smart meter

It's not the craziest idea Barry, but you're likely to be creating a bottleneck of fatigued electrons upstream of your charger. One of the easiest ways to tell is if you find that your EV loses some range in the colder months of the year - fatigued electrons suffer most in colder climes.

[DeskJockey]

I discharge my tired electrons into the car and use them up, so I get regular fresh electrons through my smart meter

It's not the craziest idea Barry, but you're likely to be creating a bottleneck of fatigued electrons upstream of your charger. One of the easiest ways to tell is if you find that your EV loses some range in the colder months of the year - fatigued electrons suffer most in colder climes.

That explains the drop I was wondering about.

[mik]

That explains the drop I was wondering about.

Just call DC Purge on 0118, 999, 88199, 9119, 725,3

[mik]

I sometimes think of schemes like this and wonder about the ethics of selling snake oil to credulous morons. On the one hand, you're selling something that doesn't work, on the other hand if people are willing to buy it...

I agree. But I don't see any correlation with this thread.

[DeskJockey]

That explains the drop I was wondering about.

Just call DC Purge on 0118, 999, 88199, 9119, 725,3

Thanks, but I went with DC Regulatorz. They only charge £749.99 + £249.99 admin fee, so that's much cheaper because you get a free gift worth £25!

[Beany]

That explains the drop I was wondering about.

Just call DC Purge on 0118, 999, 88199, 9119, 725,3

Misdialled, got emergency services, now being done for wasting police time.

Thanks a fucking lot, Mik.

[V8Granite]

This is just the thing I need, Mrs Newt left a plug socket on and the window open so all of our electrons got out.

I sometimes think of schemes like this and wonder about the ethics of selling snake oil to credulous morons. On the one hand, you're selling something that doesn't work, on the other hand if people are willing to buy it...

It is how the Hi-Fi world survives

Luckily I’m immune as I run my house on diesel.

Dave!

[jamcg]

I too was suffering with fatigued electron catastrophe kinetics (F.E.C.K)

However after speaking to an electrician he gave me two methods to bring them back to life so I didn’t need to pay miks extortionate prices.

1- Put on High Voltage by AC/DC. It’s electrons favourite album and gets them moving again

2- what sorts out you when you feel rotten? That’s right, A nice hot bath. He said to run an extension lead into the bathroom and drop a switched on toaster in the nice hot bath- it’ll relax your electrons and then there’s no need for new ones.

It’s not recommended to be in said bath at the time, I guess they don’t like sharing or something?

[duncs500]

I sometimes think of schemes like this and wonder about the ethics of selling snake oil to credulous morons. On the one hand, you're selling something that doesn't work, on the other hand if people are willing to buy it...

It's a sliding scale though, I doubt there's even one person on here that doesn't pay over the odds for something that doesn't quite do what it should. Although if we believe that something works maybe the comfort it gives us is worth the cost.

[V8Granite]

A nice tactile weighty thing has a lot of pull if you touch it enough.

Dave!

[mik]

It's a sliding scale though, I doubt there's even one person on here that doesn't pay over the odds for something that doesn't quite do what it should. Although if we believe that something works maybe the comfort it gives us is worth the cost.

Probably true. For years in the 80's/90's every car my parents bought, and the first couple that I purchased, were "immediately" treated with Slick50.

[Jobbo]

1- Put on High Voltage by AC/DC. It’s electrons favourite album and gets them moving again

Don't put on Danger: High Voltage by Electric Six though - that'll do no good at all.

[Nefarious]

Can you do anything to stop the electricity falling out of the wires?

[Matty]

That explains the drop I was wondering about.

Just call DC Purge on 0118, 999, 88199, 9119, 725,3

Thanks, but I went with DC Regulatorz. They only charge £749.99 + £249.99 admin fee, so that's much cheaper because you get a free gift worth £25!

Plus they have a much cooler 90's theme song. They're not just any geeks off the street.

[DeskJockey]

Just call DC Purge on 0118, 999, 88199, 9119, 725,3

Thanks, but I went with DC Regulatorz. They only charge £749.99 + £249.99 admin fee, so that's much cheaper because you get a free gift worth £25!

Plus they have a much cooler 90's theme song. They're not just any geeks off the street.

Yes, I forgot to mention that.

[Mito Man]

I have a silly pixie thing from years ago. I had a regular generator I was using in the woods but it wouldn’t charge up my power bank.
Months later in Machine Mart I’m buying something else and next to me there’s generators and I bring it up. The guy tells me “you’re putting the wrong kind of electricity in, you need a sine wave output”

I thought it was utter bollocks until I got home and read up about it