Mental Health

[dinny_g]

As the lads have said, nowt to be embarrassed about. I've had regular therapy over the years for various bits and bobs. Other half has OCD so I understand the cycle, especially the thoughts over the shed etc.

Have you any medical insurance ? I've had several rounds of counselling, fully funded by my works medical insurance cover. Obviously, work will never know if that's a concern.

Best of luck with it all and feel free to post here about things if you like. - despite being a miserable bunch of cvnts at times, we're mostly an understanding lot

[ZedLeg]

There's no real point to this post other than to get it off my chest a bit. I think I'm a classic anxiety sufferer who portrays an image of stability and level-headedness, when I'm actually jumping from crisis to fucking crisis!

I always describe this using the swan analogy. I look like I’m gracefully gliding around but I’m actually paddling like fuck to keep myself going

[StangMan_]

Cheers dudes. I really appreciate the words of understanding.

It's a properly shitty thing to deal with. I have to take some serious action now as I've stupidly ignored it and buried my head in the sand over the years and let it turn into what it is today. But better late than never, ey!

To be fair, I have had treatment before. CBT was ok, but I never properly committed to it, and I have been on anti-drepessants, but they, er, made me unable to sufficiently conclude a sexual interaction with Mrs Stang

The shed thing has set me back a fair bit, tbh. I was actually doing quite well. But unlike my previous worries of illness, which were effectively completely unfounded, this time I have actually been exposed to something which has caused the inevitable meltdown

I only breathed in some lead dust! People lived on that 50 years ago

I have no medicine insurance, but I plan on seeing how these sessions go and then paying for private therapy.

However, I already know that I can't just throw money at it and sit back with my feet up. I have to commit to change from the top down - diet, sleep, exercise, etc. even practising some mindfulness and yoga, perhaps.

So yeah, not great! But things can get better.

[StangMan_]

There's no real point to this post other than to get it off my chest a bit. I think I'm a classic anxiety sufferer who portrays an image of stability and level-headedness, when I'm actually jumping from crisis to fucking crisis!

I always describe this using the swan analogy. I look like I’m gracefully gliding around but I’m actually paddling like fuck to keep myself going

A very accurate description!

[dinny_g]

Sounds like you’ve got the next steps thought out which is a great first step.

Only advice I can offer about OCD from experience is that it can be comparatively easy to arrive at coping strategies from therapy which work in the day to day. But if you can, keep digging to find why You think a bit of shed work is something to get anxious about(when most don’t), rather than working out ways to convince yourself that it isn’t, is better in the long run

But Coping mechanisms are a great first step to take the pressure off the day to day though

[Beany]

As per what others have said, yeah don't worry about talking about it (arf) in here.

Other than what's already been mentioned, get some 'consumer level' books about understanding anxiety and depression (the two often go hand in hand) as they'll quite often have decent bits of CBT in there about avoiding the downward spiral (IE catching the roots of potentially anxiety relating thought patterns and for want of a better phrase, chucking them in the "Fuck It" bucket before they start taking over your day, and such like.

The Fuck It bucket is something I kinda made up myself based on that a strategy that has a proper name, the idea being if something comes up that's likely to cause stress (IE work stuff etc) it gets yeeted into the corner for a bit while I crack on with what I was doing, but I make a specific 'hard' note (calendar entry etc) to deal with it in a productive manner - IE setting aside an hour to prep for a client who's grumbling about something, go through old tickets, get real context - and that then tends to sweep the legs out from the actual anxiety side as you've done the background work and have a firm foundation to work from - as opposed to going aaaaah fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what am I gonna do.

Which to a neurotypical might sound 'normal' but with anxiety, the point is you'll be unable to approach things like that in your regular mode of thinking - which is why it's a mental illness, not a character quirk as some people would like to think.

Basic example but you get the point. Likely doesn't work for all, but works for me (where there may be some ADHD in there too)

[Barry]

My version of the FI Bucket is to take a breath when stuff piles up and overwhelms, and break things into manageable tasks. Do one task, then move to the next. You'll often find you get through a lot of them without realising.

And it needs repeating, everyone is winging it, just that some hide it better. Don't beat yourself up about it, or trying to compete. People are usually too busy dealing with their own crap to care about what you're doing.

[Beany]

My version of the FI Bucket is to take a breath when stuff piles up and overwhelms, and break things into manageable tasks. Do one task, then move to the next. You'll often find you get through a lot of them without realising.

I prefer my version because it has 'fuck' in the title

[Gavster]

This will come as no surprise to some forum members that my way of dealing with mental health problems is to go for a run. I can largely track times when my mental health is in the bin by the length and intensity of my training/racing.

[Mito Man]

This will come as no surprise to some forum members that my way of dealing with mental health problems is to go for a run. I can largely track times when my mental health is in the bin by the length and intensity of my training/racing.

Yep running is great for this. Also feels like it's 90% mental.

[Carlos]

And for a non active person walking does the same.

[ZedLeg]

While I would say that exercise endorphins do lift your mood, it won’t be more than a brief distraction from clinical depression and generalised anxiety.

[Gavster]

I’m currently reading Jog On which is specifically about how running really helped Bella to manage her GAD and OCD. Obvs it’s entirely individual and just her experience tho.

Jog On: How Running Saved My... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DFMP3TJ? ... b_ap_share

[dinny_g]

And for a non active person walking does the same.

Me too - try to practice mindfulness as you walk. Listen for sounds, look for sights, smells etc as you go.

[ZedLeg]

I’m currently reading Jog On which is specifically about how running really helped Bella to manage her GAD and OCD. Obvs it’s entirely individual and just her experience tho.

Jog On: How Running Saved My... https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07DFMP3TJ? ... b_ap_share

A lot of it is down to the individual yes. Actually thinking about it, what helped me with the medication (and quitting drinking) was that it gave me some clear headed space to think about what I’m doing.

I can see that going out for a walk/run could give you the same space. I certainly like letting my brain run while I cycle, maybe that’s why I have so many accidents

[Jimmy Choo]

This will come as no surprise to some forum members that my way of dealing with mental health problems is to go for a run. I can largely track times when my mental health is in the bin by the length and intensity of my training/racing.

My girlfriend is a headteacher at a primary school and her way of dealing with the stress is running. She's run 3 marathons this month so I suspect her new school is very stressful.

[V8Granite]

As per what others have said, yeah don't worry about talking about it (arf) in here.

Other than what's already been mentioned, get some 'consumer level' books about understanding anxiety and depression (the two often go hand in hand) as they'll quite often have decent bits of CBT in there about avoiding the downward spiral (IE catching the roots of potentially anxiety relating thought patterns and for want of a better phrase, chucking them in the "Fuck It" bucket before they start taking over your day, and such like.

The Fuck It bucket is something I kinda made up myself based on that a strategy that has a proper name, the idea being if something comes up that's likely to cause stress (IE work stuff etc) it gets yeeted into the corner for a bit while I crack on with what I was doing, but I make a specific 'hard' note (calendar entry etc) to deal with it in a productive manner - IE setting aside an hour to prep for a client who's grumbling about something, go through old tickets, get real context - and that then tends to sweep the legs out from the actual anxiety side as you've done the background work and have a firm foundation to work from - as opposed to going aaaaah fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck what am I gonna do.

Which to a neurotypical might sound 'normal' but with anxiety, the point is you'll be unable to approach things like that in your regular mode of thinking - which is why it's a mental illness, not a character quirk as some people would like to think.

Basic example but you get the point. Likely doesn't work for all, but works for me (where there may be some ADHD in there too)

Yeeted ?

Fucking yeeted ?

You aren’t 10, please stop using this word.

Love and kisses.

Dave!

[Beany]

I use it specifically to get that reaction.

I regularly use youth phrases when I need to drag my staff out of a rabbit hole and back on track etc, because it causes them to have levels of cringe your can pick up on a seismometer

[StangMan_]

Thanks everyone. Some brilliant suggestions there and I'm very grateful.

Whilst I'm under the cloak of complete and total anonymity ( ) I will provide a brief bit of context.

Basically, my anxiety and OCD are ultimately the result of prolonged childhood trauma. Thinking about it, considering I get virtually no enjoyment out of almost anything, you can probably whack depression on the list as well

Childhood was properly awful. Its meant that making my own way in life has been plagued by feelings of low self esteem and constant worry and anxiety. This then ushered in the OCD, where obtrusive thoughts about something awful happening would accompany the anxiety. No to mention the endless repetitions - like checking if things are locked again and again and again...or constantly researching if, despite being fit and well, I was actually on the brink of death with an undiagnosed illness

That's when I sought help the first time. To be fair, it was pretty useful and my therapist worked well for me. She helped me understand the cause of my symptoms and gave me some useful tools for dealing with it all. Nice.

Fast forward a few years, and things deteriorated. But weirdly, I hadn't really noticed! Probably because I live in a bubble of routine and familiarity, where I don't have to challenge myself. It's my GF who has pointed out that I'm actually going mental. What? That's news to me!

However, I'm now well aware of how bad things are.

Recent events haven't helped. My closest family member passed this year, and my younger brother also passed recently (29).

On top of that, work has been iffy. Not through anything I've done, mind.

I have a job interview coming on Tuesday. I'm travelling a fair old distance to meet with someone who thinks I'm a good match for their business, and I fully agree. But I'm also battling the voice in my ear telling me I'm a complete clown who hasn't got a fucking clue

Feeling a little snowed under

I will see how the sessions go but I am definitely planning on paying for private therapy.

I have also been researching some self help books. Reddit has been a good resource for this, and I've downloaded an audiobook already and so far it sounds good.

Then, it's improving sleep hygiene, diet and exercise. Although the latter two are already ok, but always room for improvement.

Then meditation/yoga/mindfulness.

I will toy with the idea of going back to medication. As long as it isn't what they put me on before

[Beany]

Whilst I'm under the cloak of complete and total anonymity ( ) I will provide a brief bit of context.

Pfft, remove the OCD and you're not far off just being me. For which I am so very sorry