Legal advice

[Aml1987]

Hi All, but probably jobbo and gg,

Just a quick question bit of a messy situation with my other half’s dad’s death while in a care home with no will, basically one of her sisters has appointed a solicitor who happens to be her friend she has has insisted that everything has to be above board but has also said that that they have discussed this over lunch while not being paid does this sound suspicious to anyone?

[Jobbo]

Not particularly - if a friend of mine were to have a parent die with no will, I’d happily sit down informally and talk to them without charging.

It’s what happens next which would be something to look out for.

[IanF]

Firstly, sorry for your loss.

Secondly, It is unlikely that the Solicitor will do anything other than be above board and help mediate what sounds like a difficult situation However, she will also maximise her hours worked on it, but if your other half and her family cannot resolve this without mediation then you may have no choice.

Unless you have a reason not to use this Solicitor, Then I would say it would help in the long run and help prevent any animosity between the family members.

I don’t have anything to do with the legal profession, but I just spent 200 grand getting divorced so solicitors are not my favourite people.. Especially GG and Jobbo!

[Mito Man]

Firstly, sorry for your loss.

Secondly, It is unlikely that the Solicitor will do anything other than be above board and help mediate what sounds like a difficult situation However, she will also maximise her hours worked on it, but if your other half and her family cannot resolve this without mediation then you may have no choice.

Unless you have a reason not to use this Solicitor, Then I would say it would help in the long run and help prevent any animosity between the family members.

I don’t have anything to do with the legal profession, but I just spent 200 grand getting divorced so solicitors are not my favourite people.. Especially GG and Jobbo!

Could say that’s a small price for freedom

[Aml1987]

Not particularly - if a friend of mine were to have a parent die with no will, I’d happily sit down informally and talk to them without charging.

It’s what happens next which would be something to look out for.

Okay firstly I thought I had posted this in general but here is the full situation my partner grew up in foster care as did her siblings her mother and father were separated but still married, her father died and one of her sisters has discovered that he had money so has appointed a solicitor who is also a friend which struck me as odd, we helped write an email to the solicitor expressing the mothers wishes, which the the solicitors are now saying they don’t believe came from the mother, but after a conversation with the sister who has appointed this solicitor she openly said they have discussed this off book over lunch which I feel is not correct? Would you say that’s okay @jobbo or should we look at appointing an impartial solicitor?

[IanF]

Firstly, sorry for your loss.

Secondly, It is unlikely that the Solicitor will do anything other than be above board and help mediate what sounds like a difficult situation However, she will also maximise her hours worked on it, but if your other half and her family cannot resolve this without mediation then you may have no choice.

Unless you have a reason not to use this Solicitor, Then I would say it would help in the long run and help prevent any animosity between the family members.

I don’t have anything to do with the legal profession, but I just spent 200 grand getting divorced so solicitors are not my favourite people.. Especially GG and Jobbo!

Could say that’s a small price for freedom

Oh how I wish that was all it cost to get my freedom back..

[dinny_g]

Not particularly - if a friend of mine were to have a parent die with no will, I’d happily sit down informally and talk to them without charging.

It’s what happens next which would be something to look out for.

But you’d advise they discuss matters with other siblings, no??

Not a legal view per se but the haste by which the sister has got a lawyer involved, without discussion, would cause me concern.

At the very least, a “hi all, my mate Tracy has offered to look after the probate stuff, is that OK with everyone???” group WhatsApp is appropriate.

I don’t trust a living soul and EVERYONE is out to screw me over me but my view is this sister is making a grab and you’ll regret it if you remain polite/don’t lawyer up

[Jobbo]

Not particularly - if a friend of mine were to have a parent die with no will, I’d happily sit down informally and talk to them without charging.

It’s what happens next which would be something to look out for.

Okay firstly I thought I had posted this in general but here is the full situation my partner grew up in foster care as did her siblings her mother and father were separated but still married, her father died and one of her sisters has discovered that he had money so has appointed a solicitor who is also a friend which struck me as odd, we helped write an email to the solicitor expressing the mothers wishes, which the the solicitors are now saying they don’t believe came from the mother, but after a conversation with the sister who has appointed this solicitor she openly said they have discussed this off book over lunch which I feel is not correct? Would you say that’s okay @jobbo or should we look at appointing an impartial solicitor?

I’m not able to give actual legal advice on here so won’t look into the detail. However, your partner would potentially need to instruct her own solicitor to challenge anything that she feels the sister or other solicitor does wrongly.

There is nothing wrong with your partner’s sister instructing a solicitor who is a friend of hers, but that solicitor does not act for your partner.

[Aml1987]

Thanks for you reply, my main question here is if the sister and solicitor are discussing this off book over lunch in your opinion can we trust that she will be impartial? She is due to call the mother tomorrow to clarify her wishes and the sister has said she wants no one to be with the mother during the call, bearing mind the mother is in her 70’s and frail, is there a chance the solicitor may guide the mother based on the sister? I’m guessing as she is acting on behalf of the sister she would legally be doing nothing wrong if she did?

[Jobbo]

The solicitor has no duty to be impartial - she has a duty to act in her client's interests. If your partner's sister instructs her solicitor friend to go after everything then the solicitor ought to try to achieve that. So don't make the mistake of thinking a solicitor instructed by someone else has to be an impartial arbiter - that is very much not the case. The solicitor may be in reality, or may take action which benefits your partner indirectly (by making sure the interests of any other potential beneficiaries are made known), but you can't be sure.

Before spending money on her own solicitor though (something I would avoid if possible - I've not had the same experience as Ian but I know it can be expensive), your partner should probably speak to the same solicitor and see if they would represent her as well. The interests of your partner and her sister may well be completely aligned so that could be efficient, and the solicitor will owe the same duties to your partner so can't just look after her sister.

[Aml1987]

The solicitor has no duty to be impartial - she has a duty to act in her client's interests. If your partner's sister instructs her solicitor friend to go after everything then the solicitor ought to try to achieve that. So don't make the mistake of thinking a solicitor instructed by someone else has to be an impartial arbiter - that is very much not the case. The solicitor may be in reality, or may take action which benefits your partner indirectly (by making sure the interests of any other potential beneficiaries are made known), but you can't be sure.

Before spending money on her own solicitor though (something I would avoid if possible - I've not had the same experience as Ian but I know it can be expensive), your partner should probably speak to the same solicitor and see if they would represent her as well. The interests of your partner and her sister may well be completely aligned so that could be efficient, and the solicitor will owe the same duties to your partner so can't just look after her sister.

Thank you, greatly appreciated!!

[Gavster]

You know the old saying, where there's a will, there's a relative

[Aml1987]

You know the old saying, where there's a will, there's a relative

There is no will that’s the problem

[dinny_g]

the sister has said she wants no one to be with the mother during the call

And this isn’t ringing huge fucking alarm bells???

Tell the sister to go fuck herself - your partner will be with her mother if she wants to be and she has no say in the matter.

I’m telling you - this sister is going to push the others out and take the lot

[Aml1987]

the sister has said she wants no one to be with the mother during the call

And this isn’t ringing huge fucking alarm bells???

Tell the sister to go fuck herself - your partner will be with her mother if she wants to be and she has no say in the matter.

I’m telling you - this sister is going to push the others out and take the lot

Yep other half went up today and sat with her mother while she called the solicitor who “will ring back when she is free” which she didn’t, apparently the sister who appointed the solicitor rang the mother this morning and told her the complete opposite of what she told us yesterday which I recorded, so we are going to see if the solicitor calls tomorrow and depending on that phone call will appoint a solicitor to act on the mothers behalf

[integrale_evo]

People are right cunts aren’t they? Why would this one sister think they have the right to decide who gets what? (Unless there actually are circumstances where they might actually be entitled to it)

I must be incredibly naive ( and had zero involvement with solicitors of any sort myself directly ) but I wouldn’t have assumed the solicitor would be working specifically for that sister in their best interest, but to do the right and legal thing for the estate which could well be an equal split amongst whoever.

My mum used a solicitor she knew personally to sort out all of my grandads legal stuff, but I guess that was easier because there was a clear will and both her and her brother knew what was in it and that for instance my sister had already had her part as a deposit for a house, so there wasn’t really that much to discuss

[Aml1987]

People are right cunts aren’t they? Why would this one sister think they have the right to decide who gets what? (Unless there actually are circumstances where they might actually be entitled to it)

I must be incredibly naive ( and had zero involvement with solicitors of any sort myself directly ) but I wouldn’t have assumed the solicitor would be working specifically for that sister in their best interest, but to do the right and legal thing for the estate which could well be an equal split amongst whoever.

My mum used a solicitor she knew personally to sort out all of my grandads legal stuff, but I guess that was easier because there was a clear will and both her and her brother knew what was in it and that for instance my sister had already had her part as a deposit for a house, so there wasn’t really that much to discuss

That was exactly the mistake I made assuming the solicitor would act in the mothers interest as she is legally the one who inherits the money, thanks to @Jobbo I now know that’s not the case, I think the reason it has got to this point is there is a step daughter involved who the mother wants to have a share of the estate because she helped with finding a care home etc towards the end but the sister who has organised the solicitor thinks she should get nothing as she is not a biological child, just makes you realise if you haven’t got a will yet sort one now so your own family don’t have to deal with crap like this !

[dinny_g]

Hi mate,

You sound like you’re all over this so the very best of luck with it all.

The only advice I can give your partner is do not feel like a mercenary or only interested in money by standing up for herself.

Her father wanted her to benefit by his passing (he’d have left a will otherwise) so it’s her legacy and she has every right to it

Good luck

[Aml1987]

Hi mate,

You sound like you’re all over this so the very best of luck with it all.

The only advice I can give your partner is do not feel like a mercenary or only interested in money by standing up for herself.

Her father wanted her to benefit by his passing (he’d have left a will otherwise) so it’s her legacy and she has every right to it

Good luck

Thanks that’s appreciated, we just want to do right by her mothers wishes, the money is irrelevant it is the fact that she is trying to go against her mums wishes, the shit side of it is no matter the outcome I am guessing the sister who appointed the solicitor won’t speak to her anymore, they weren’t close but I still find it shit that money can do this to people

[duncs500]

Sorting out an estate is a PITA even if it's clean cut there and is a will, so I can imagine this is a nightmare even though this is just the beginning.

My sister and I just wanted it over with as swiftly as possible with my mum's estate, and for ease we just appointed local solicitors that my mum had used (the one she did the will with for the estate, and the one that handled her last property transaction for the flat sale), but then we get on well and there wasn't really any problems.

I am apparently due something from my aunt's will, all I've had to do so far is confirm that I'm ok with her daughter's appointed solicitor, but I guess the reason I've been given a say is that there is a will and I am a beneficiary. I just said yes, I wasn't expecting anything anyway. It'll probably amount to very little as I believe all her nieces and nephews are in there.

Good luck with it @Aml1987, somewhat contrary to Dinny's advice, I'd be trying to remind your partner that inheritance is a nice bonus rather than something you should build your life around, no parent would want to know their kids were all falling out over it. Hard to think like that when you feel like you're being done over, I know.

Reminds me, I should do my will, although with one wife and one child it's pretty straightforward... more about making sure my mates get a bit of money to go on the piss with!