Your fleet running reports

[GG.]

@GG. think you’re going to have to review your recommendation for Porsche Guildford!

Seriously, there does seem to be a certain level of incompetence as well as arrogance with Porsche dealers.. like they’re doing you a favour selling you a car or providing you with a service. Maybe try West London or Mayfair next?.. oh, and then Reading; it’ll save me.. ahem, us lots of hassle in the future.

Ha - are you offering a collection and Italian tune up service

I have revised my recommendation. I would recommend buying your car from Porsche Guildford... and then not going back!

[GG.]

He is now not contactable till the morning (oh to have a job where you are uncontactable from 6! Fucking brilliant!).

I imagine he gets paid slightly less than you do

Yes I get that. The sales guys don't operate on a strict 9-5 though and if you're customer facing and are inconveniencing them by last minute requests they maybe make yourself available to resolve the issue!

The 9-5 mentality is why service in Britain is so shit (it doesn't just extend to working hours, either, but indicates a lack of consideration and effort to go beyond the minimum that permeates through to everything else - see UK productivity numbers!).

[mik]

Mr. Hammond, after careful consideration, I've decided not to endorse Porsche Guilford aftersales services.

[Rich B]

I'm just round the corner from Porsche Guildford - I'll make sure I beep my horn in disapproval when I drive past it this evening (at a normal leaving time with my work phone turned off).

[Beany]

It reeks of a dodgy battery, maybe a bit of damp too as we'd had some heavy rain Sunday night. Near 25yo supercar** doesn't like living outdoors non-shocker.

That absolutely does reek of a bad battery, I'd assumed that you'd changed it already as a matter of course?

So very, very many little oddities on the BMW cleared up when I replaced the battery. Do that first.

[Sundayjumper]

I'm just round the corner from Porsche Guildford - I'll make sure I beep my horn in disapproval when I drive past it this evening (at a normal leaving time with my work phone turned off).

I imagine you get paid slightly less than GG does

[Rich B]

I'm just round the corner from Porsche Guildford - I'll make sure I beep my horn in disapproval when I drive past it this evening (at a normal leaving time with my work phone turned off).

I imagine you get paid slightly less than GG does

I think we all do!

[Jobbo]

It reeks of a dodgy battery, maybe a bit of damp too as we'd had some heavy rain Sunday night. Near 25yo supercar** doesn't like living outdoors non-shocker.

That absolutely does reek of a bad battery, I'd assumed that you'd changed it already as a matter of course?

So very, very many little oddities on the BMW cleared up when I replaced the battery. Do that first.

Sounds possibly like the alternator failing. If the car is actually running then the alternator should make up for a bad battery.

[Sundayjumper]

That absolutely does reek of a bad battery, I'd assumed that you'd changed it already as a matter of course?

Always fit a new battery to a new purchase ? Is that what normal people do ??

Sounds possibly like the alternator failing. If the car is actually running then the alternator should make up for a bad battery.

Unless the battery is sucking up loads of current and causing the system voltage to drop. And possibly exacerbated by some flaky wiring / earthing somewhere. Normal old car stuff.

I'm not rushing into a new alternator, but having just done some research it's a Denso unit and it's claimed that it's the same as fitted to various Landcruisers. At the very least that means a new regulator or a rebuild won't be expensive.

[GG.]

I'm just round the corner from Porsche Guildford - I'll make sure I beep my horn in disapproval when I drive past it this evening (at a normal leaving time with my work phone turned off).

I imagine you get paid slightly less than GG does

I think we all do!

Sounds good on the surface - I just crunched the numbers versus someone doing a 9-5 and I work an extra 105 of their working days per year - roughly half again!

That's without even factoring in the pain value of closing a deal from a Hong Kong hotel room at 4.30 in the morning as I did over the summer...

[V8Granite]

I’d run some long test leads from the battery and see what the alternator is putting out.

The 500e was doing funny stuff and then with a temp gun on it realised it was 100 degrees plus and randomly throwing all the voltage in the world at the battery causing weird stuff to happen.

Dave!

[Sundayjumper]

Oooh. Apparently they also have a habit of doing this. I'd better check that

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[Jobbo]

I’d run some long test leads from the battery and see what the alternator is putting out.

Absolutely - no point replacing the alternator without testing it first. I wasn’t suggesting going in for a new/rebuilt one as the first step

[IanF]

@Sundayjumper yes, had something very similar and a new battery stopped it.

[duncs500]

I imagine you get paid slightly less than GG does

I think we all do!

Sounds good on the surface - I just crunched the numbers versus someone doing a 9-5 and I work an extra 105 of their working days per year - roughly half again!

Respect to you for doing it (glad you at least allow yourself a Porsche as reward), but fuck that!

[Beany]

That absolutely does reek of a bad battery, I'd assumed that you'd changed it already as a matter of course?

Always fit a new battery to a new purchase ? Is that what normal people do ??

In all seriousness, it might be something I add as a 'this car I've bought has some weirdness, rather than chasing wiring looms, do this first' after purchase from now on.

It fixed niggling oddities in the Mondeo and the BMW. Given I'm not much of an auto-spark, it's cheaper than getting someone to come out, charging £150 to say "needs a battery"

[Mito Man]

I’d also go for weak battery. Exact same symptoms as SMG BMWs - TC/ABS warning and stuck in gear/crap gear changes as the SMG pump can’t work properly.

[Rich B]

I imagine you get paid slightly less than GG does

I think we all do!

Sounds good on the surface - I just crunched the numbers versus someone doing a 9-5 and I work an extra 105 of their working days per year - roughly half again!

That's without even factoring in the pain value of closing a deal from a Hong Kong hotel room at 4.30 in the morning as I did over the summer...

Maybe you need to get better at negotiation or time management then?

[Sundayjumper]

OK, fair enough Beany & Mito, I'll attack the battery first.

I put a new battery in The Compact a couple of months ago, it's one size smaller (same height & width but 36mm shorter in length) so it's not ideal but may be better than the - potentially - dodgy one that's in there. It won't cost me anything to try it.

[integrale_evo]

I’d imagine the alternator won’t be the easiest of things to get to, but sounds more like a dodgy alternator or connection than a battery issue.

Never hurts an old car to add a new good quality earth between engine and body.

I’ve ‘fixed’ many non-starting Mitos on the internet by suggesting they connect a jump lead between battery negative and engine / gearbox and see if it will start.

Battery light is a not charging light, not usually a low voltage light. Abs / tc lights are usually the first lights to come on if voltage drops as the car will sacrifice those to keep the engine going.

I’d imagine the brushes / regulator will be a generic part and probably not very expensive.