Beany’s new hat thread

[nuttinnew]

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I've got the ability to take wheel speed sensor readings from the Mondeo so if I was *really* bored I could properly map the performance to a fairly accurate level, but frankly, it's not that important.

Just interesting having two cars with fairly similar levels of torque, but completely different ways of delivering it.

Do it for the two and draw up some graphs, y'know, f't'interest.

[Beany]

Didn't you have your Titex mapped?

I thought I hadn't, but you got me thinking and it seems that I did. In case that sounds confusing or counterintuitive, I went on flouxetine around then and I've had a shitty memory ever since, but I seem to have lost an entire day, because I PM'd someone about the changes to the car and I don't remember any of it.

So two phone calls to make tomorrow:
A: Docs to get off these fucking meds - safely.
B: Insurers to get that mod declared.

Up until about an hour ago, my recollection involved getting a ride in a local 2.2 when I was thinking about the remap, and not thinking it was really that much faster than my car, umming and ahhing over it, and thinking that perhaps it had been mapped in the past, and so I might spend three hundred quid for nothing. But I'm looking at evidence that I did, and I don't recollect it at all. Oh, and it did make a difference apparently.

So, er, that's a terrifying end to the day for me.

180bhp, 300lb/ft are the rough numbers, by the way, which would explain the bum dyno seeming to be broken.

Right, I'm off to bed to get absolutely zero sleep over what else I might have done back in late January and not have any recollection of. Because I've already found a text message from the docs about a blood test I apparently had, and they had results for. Cos, er, I don't remember that either...

[Simon]

Which also explains why it feels closer to the BM. Yup, I remember the thread on the old evo forum (which I can no longer access because they've actually switched it off rather than just redirecting away).

[Jimmy Choo]

Hope you get the meds sorted quickly. Missing days are terrifying when you discover them.

Meanwhile, have a check in the exhaust. If it's like my old e45 330i spurt (and jobbos, IIRC) it will have a butterfly valve in one of the pipes that makes it quieter unless you're going for it. It's vacuum activated so try disconnecting it (like mine was) and it should make it sound more vocal.

[integrale_evo]

Yes, choo is correct, have a poke around the backbox and see if there's a valve. It might even be stuck shut if it's not been given dabeenz very often. If it has one just pull the pipe off and stick something in it to stop it sucking in air.

The danger of messing around with non standard exhausts is you end up with something worse quality than the original with annoying resonances, but more volume.

If you can find a standard airbox for not much money buy one of those and cut some big holes in it on the dirty side for loads more noise. I definitely wouldn't bother sticking a cone filter on.

[Beany]

Yeah, familiar with the Golf Tee mod

Out and about, will discuss the rest later

[Beany]

Update - borrowed a long screwdriver from my e-cig shop pal, that valve is seized tight. Didn't want to abuse his screwdriver so I'll bang some oven cleaner (outs carbon deposits innit ) or wd40 over it and try whacking it with something more substantial later.

[integrale_evo]

Get that mofo out of there and jobs a goodun.

Our touring used to throw an exhaust valve error but there wasn't a valve in the exhaust ( 100% original system, no way one was ever there ) but didn't affect anything else and always sounded nice. Don't know if there was a 'sport' exhaust option which left the valve out.

[Mito Man]

Surprised BMW fitted even bothered fitting valves back then. No one cared about noise as much and I doubt the standard exhaust system with its many silencers ever needed it.

[Marv]

Bet you find the straight six a far smoother than the Mondeo's lump, Beanster.

[Beany]

Surprised BMW fitted even bothered fitting valves back then. No one cared about noise as much and I doubt the standard exhaust system with its many silencers ever needed it.

Makes it more refined when you're pulling out of your gated community in the morning

[Beany]

And yes, with the roof down I have to watch the rev counter when pulling away, can't hear or feel the engine over traffic noise!

[Beany]

Get that mofo out of there and jobs a goodun.

Our touring used to throw an exhaust valve error but there wasn't a valve in the exhaust ( 100% original system, no way one was ever there ) but didn't affect anything else and always sounded nice. Don't know if there was a 'sport' exhaust option which left the valve out.

My car is a factory Sport, and has it, so I'd guess not.

Bro is heading to meet me with a pin punch and hammer, we'll get the fucker open!

[Beany]

Except he didn't turn up and has been offline for the last hour.

Sigh. Aircon works though.

[Beany]

Jesus that valve is stuck. Bashing it just ended up bending it

Gonna throw some penetrating oil on it overnight then try again tomorrow.

[Simon]

Are you turning the valve the right way? Surprised it's _that_ stuck.

[Beany]

It'll only go one way and the stop/end of travel peg makes it clear that it should turn anti-clockwise (if you look at it from above). Apparently them getting *that* stuck isn't that rare - plenty of reports of it on 'tinterwebs.

I'd guess that at some point the car was being driven consistently at low revs for a long time, it got stuck closed, and then soot deposits made things worse. There are also going to be some kind of bushing/bearings for the butterfly axle and it's probably those that are seized, so a huge gob of penetrating oil will be applied tomorrow (bro didn't have any, shockingly) and will see if that helps.

If not, either more intelligence, or more violence, will be applied, depending on how intellectual I'm feeling. We got it a little open and the pops and crackles on the overrun are a bit more present, but it's still too quiet.

Oh, and the car goes nicely sideways in the wet. I mean, it was a bit unexpected, so I'll be leaving the DSC on for now till I get some practice in, somewhere safer

Very impressed with how well the car telegraphed it and how easy it was to control. Admittedly it was a bit tankslappery at the end, but there was no-one else around and it didn't get massively out of shape (or control) so I can think of worse ways I could have learned that

If it's raining tomorrow I might have to go find an empty industrial estate to have a play on

[Beany]

Oh, and as this seems to be my general shitposting-about-things-I've done in the BMW thread, I did Leeds to Scarborough, including a backroad detour, with the roof down.

Unsurprisingly, it handled those roads better than the Mondeo, and hid it's weight better. Cleaner steering and a more balanced feel helped in terms of positioning the car, and the lack of lag (well, waiting for the turbo to come on song) was a nice change. I do find it reminding me of the Puma in a few ways, although as that's my primary frame of reference, that's not a surprise. I've clearly quite missed good throttle response...

If I plan to do that again, however, I need to either get a wind deflector, or wear earplugs - my ears were dinging after that. Although, spending more time below 70mph would probably also help.

Average MPG according to the trip computer is 22mpg, although while pissing about with the exhaust I was trying to keep as much heat in it is possible so spent a lot of time 'tapping' in second gear around 45-60 mph (and did some 25 miles like that between attempts to free the valve) so that'll have had a notable impact; but 30mpg at 'my' cruising level - typically around 75mph - seems realistic, which really isn't bad for a six pot with big lungs - I rarely saw above that with the Puma FFS!

Edit: Also my throat hurts from having to shout at my brother over the wind noise. Bah.

[Sundayjumper]

Lots of correct here. BMW build a lovely straight six.

Somewhere you mentioned needing 2000rpm to pull away - you don't. It'll trickle away at barely over tickover once you get the hang of it.

Oh, and on my E46 I used BMW Scanner 1.4.0 a lot, it does code reading and a certain amount of coding, works really well.

[Beany]

Getting into bad habits from my brother, I think....