Your fleet running reports

[Jobbo]

Is it a BMW era one? PCV system in the valve cover can fail causing that. I've never really heard of valve stem oil seals failing on that era of car tbh.

What engine is it?

Took it out for a decent drive today past Richard Ashcroft’s house. It’s a really nice car and I don’t think I’ll sell it actually - I have garage space and can store it rather than getting rid and buying her something else when she passed her test.

No joy at curing the smoke by using it, and after taking the PCV valve off and inspecting it, it seems to be intact so I fear it may be the valve stem seals. Oh well; if I’m paying to fix that but keep it, at least I’ll know they’re done.

[tim]

Jaguar XJ8 3.2 WhatTheFuckIsThatNoise Edition Update

So wafty goodness has returned all weekend, with only the fucking irritating metal-on-metal rattle that's plagued me almost since I got it. I had isolated it as far as "somewhere in the centre console" and the only thing for it was to hoik the whole thing out.

Actually much simpler than it appeared, thankfully.



So I guess one of the previous owners was a smoker then I also found a small family polaroid, but no further ID/random watches or sanitary products.

Anyway. With the console out I could easily reproduce the clicking sound by manipulating the dashboard chassis, and it sounded very much like it was coming from the lower left corner somewhere.

Just out of shot to the left, just below the carpet line are two big TORX bolts that join the two main metal dashboard structures together, one either side. One of them is a sliding bolt. I loosened them both off a bit, gave the wole thing a bit of a tug in various directions, then did them back up..

...no more rattle!! Holy shit the relief was huge. 15 mins of re-assembly later and I did a 20 mile run around some crappy roads, and the wafty silence was deafening* I reckon it was just under tension somewhere and needed the wiggle to clear the two bits that were tapping together.

Job done.

* well, apart from all the other worrying noises, obvs.

It's gone backto the garage this morning so they can go over the hub and re-check it's all still torqued up correctly etc, and to pull the diagnostic codes so they can see why it's stuck in Open Loop fuelling. 50p says that'll be the O2 sensor I've been telling them about for 4 months.

[Delphi]

928 is in at Strasse to cure the hot start issue. I hope it's not leaky injectors as they're £250 a pop!

[V8Granite]

So I did this….



To fix the cam cover leak on this….



Which the inside of looked like this….



Now the cam cover job went well, new cover and plug gaskets and all cleaned and torqued up, one bolt needs a special shirt wobble socket which I had ordered and been waiting for.

The pain in the arse though was putting new HT leads on, now as much as I like the engineering of these cars they didn’t do a great job on the ignition system. Hideously expensive leads with special
Connectors, expensive caps and rotors and the caps and rotors will be in need of replacement after 30,000 miles.
Also properly routing the HT leads is a ball ache, the runners and spacers are all the perfect size which is great for when it’s new but figuring out the perfect routing is no fun

I’ll get it out later to double check it’s not weeping anymore.

Then it needs a good scrub as the car in general is filthy.

Dave!

[mr_jon]

Looks good inside Dave, no nasty varnish and the cam lobes look decent.

Yes, COP ignition - despite them occasionally failing - is a vast improvement. Big investment to convert on the 500 I would presume.

[V8Granite]

I think the hardware would be easy but I’ve no idea what the computer would say if something else was doing the ignition. Just rotors, rotor caps and leads are £600

Dave!

[mr_jon]

Yeah you'd have to go aftermarket on the ECU which is where the spends would be. I'd be surprised if someone doesn't already do a kit that converts the dizzy's into simple timing signallers? Which saves you messing around with a crank trigger. Idle musings if you've already spent 600 knicker!

[Swervin_Mervin]

There was a guy on PH who converted his CX GTi Turbo to an entirely new system - Emerald I beleve. I think someone at Emerald had always wanted to do it and started one of their own, so he was essentially able to order a full kit with loom, injectors, ecu etc. Not sure how much it cost him though.

[Sundayjumper]

I have removed the aftermarket sliding window from the Vito. It was noisy, a slightly different tint to the rest of the windows, and had been fitted a bit wonky. All of those things bothered me. I’ve got some non-tinted glass that could go in but I’ve also got a potential swap for some tinted glass that will save me a bit of grief. For now I just have extra ventilation.


FILL MY HOLE

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[mik]

This is at the bottom of your glass AICMFP

[V8Granite]

No oil leaks after a good test drive down the A1 and back through Stamford.

A driver of a brand new RS6 knew what it was and I gave it a bit of welly, he kindly gave me a few seconds of victory before blasting past, making me look like a skinny hipped loser

That’s the first time I’ve seen a new model in the flesh and it’s now my favourite, what an imposing car.

Dave!

[mik]

No oil leaks after a good test drive down the A1 and back through Stamford.

A driver of a brand new RS6 knew what it was and I gave it a bit of welly, he kindly gave me a few seconds of victory before blasting past, making me look like a skinny hipped loser

That’s the first time I’ve seen a new model in the flesh and it’s now my favourite, what an imposing car.

Dave!

They are getting a bit OTT for me . Certainly can’t mistake them for a cooking A6. (And neither can the cops).

[Jobbo]

Mini is staying, since I'm investing in new valve stem seals. With the head off it's also being de-coked and getting a new timing chain and tensioner. Annoying it has to have a new cat, which is because it's clearly been smoking a while and buggered that up. Oh well, as I said last week - it's a nice car, it's lovely to drive and has a good spec. And with my stepdaughter going off to university we can store it for her in the garage and I'll use it every now and again to keep it happy.

[Sundayjumper]

Mercedes diagnostic software installing. I’m guessing this might take a while…

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[DeskJockey]

Mercedes diagnostic software installing. I’m guessing this might take a while…


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Did it?

[V8Granite]

No oil leaks after a good test drive down the A1 and back through Stamford.

A driver of a brand new RS6 knew what it was and I gave it a bit of welly, he kindly gave me a few seconds of victory before blasting past, making me look like a skinny hipped loser

That’s the first time I’ve seen a new model in the flesh and it’s now my favourite, what an imposing car.

Dave!

They are getting a bit OTT for me . Certainly can’t mistake them for a cooking A6. (And neither can the cops).

I felt the same, also thought that the aggressive front end was too aggressive for its ride height so didn’t quite look right.

In the flesh though, wibble.

I don’t think any RS6 has been mistaken for a regular A6, they look like completely different models due to the rear wings.

Can I have one please ?

Dave!

[drcarlos]

Mini is staying, since I'm investing in new valve stem seals. With the head off it's also being de-coked and getting a new timing chain and tensioner. Annoying it has to have a new cat, which is because it's clearly been smoking a while and buggered that up. Oh well, as I said last week - it's a nice car, it's lovely to drive and has a good spec. And with my stepdaughter going off to university we can store it for her in the garage and I'll use it every now and again to keep it happy.

We contemplated selling too but we've been using my eldest's Corsa while he's away at uni, but he has now finally passed his theory and got that monkey off his back so he's going to have a crack at the practical in the summer as for year 2 he wants his car.

We have just been using it once or twice a week so we hopefully don't get issues like you've had.

[Jobbo]

Mini is staying, since I'm investing in new valve stem seals. With the head off it's also being de-coked and getting a new timing chain and tensioner. Annoying it has to have a new cat, which is because it's clearly been smoking a while and buggered that up. Oh well, as I said last week - it's a nice car, it's lovely to drive and has a good spec. And with my stepdaughter going off to university we can store it for her in the garage and I'll use it every now and again to keep it happy.

We contemplated selling too but we've been using my eldest's Corsa while he's away at uni, but he has now finally passed his theory and got that monkey off his back so he's going to have a crack at the practical in the summer as for year 2 he wants his car.

We have just been using it once or twice a week so we hopefully don't get issues like you've had.

I think it probably had a generous MOT when I bought it and was already suffering - I don't think valve stem seals wear through lack of use and there was often a slightly smoky smell, which I put down to residue from the cured oil leak in the engine bay.

It's a bit spendy to fix but compared to selling it now and buying another car for her when she does pass her test (probably an intensive course during a vacation) it's probably not mad. The air-con still blows cold, the panoramic roof works fine and it drives really nicely. So I shall definitely use it a bit now.

[Mito Man]

I’m convinced that I’m being fucked over once again
with the car tax. Reminder just arrived, £280 - with the usual caveat that it’s £280 at the time of printing the letter and it may have changed on 1st April due to the budget. Go to pay online and it’s £295.
Funnily enough I can’t see anywhere on the letter regarding when it was actually printed but I really doubt it was before April 1st. Cunts.

[Jobbo]

SORN it on 28 Feb or 31 March one year, then tax it again the next day. Reset it to before the change.