The state of customer sales in the UK

[KiwiDave]

TLDR - I'd forgotten UK business assume all customers are cunts.


My old man is 80 and barely uses the internet - can just about manage a Zoom with his church and Zooming me. He's been unable to find a source of decent N95 or equivalent masks, largely because shopping to him means going into a physical store and adverts are things you still see on TV and in newspapers.

5mins on Amazon UK (sidenote, I have an Amazon Prime account down here, I was surprised to learn that an Amazon login/prime isn't global and I had to login to Amazon UK as though starting from scratch - who knew!?) and I'd ordered two types. Both turned up at my Dad's place easy enough, but one type they sent 2x single masks, instead of 2x 5 packs, so I contacted the seller.

Cue the automatic assumption I'm a cunt trying it on, rude customer service and zero fucks given attitude. They're telling me I ordered singles and I've sent them a screenshot of their own product showing they're selling 5 packs. We'll see what happens...

But the point - I'd forgotten how bad the customer to business interaction is in the UK! Automatic assumption I must be a knobhead trying it on, and I'd forgot that I have to assume all businesses are wankers until proven otherwise. It's still the opposite here - any interaction is assumed to be legit until you realise one party is a twat. Generally things are very friendly and polite.

[nuttinnew]

Assuming they're not just a spunkholder, don't take it personally; everyone's a bit of a cunt sometimes, likely caused by contending with a cavalcade of cognitively constipated condescending cunts prior to your enquiry.

[Rich B]

Emergency PPE - is the seller just some chancer who's just bought a job lot to try and exploit a profit from the pandemic? Proper sellers with reputations and long term plans would just listen and do what ever makes the problem go away quickly.

[mik]

As per others - it doesn't sound like a "normal" response from someone interested in maintaining their business.

I feel the amazon platform can create conflict. I ordered some candarel sweeteners recently which had an estimated delivery of X. When we got to X+10 days I tried to contact the seller to ask for an update, but couldn't see how to do it. The system lead me to a dispute page where the only logical option was "not arrived" or similar. No contact from the seller - but they refunded me immediately (which Amazon presumably mandates?).

When the items arrived 3 days later (RM 2nd class post, no tracking) I contacted them to let them know the item had now arrived, and could I pay please? Which they gratefully accepted. A couple of similar "item not here yet" from other sellers could easily wipe out all their profit.... not really fair when times are tough for all just now.

[Gavster]

It's totally insane, the problem is at their end, yet the people in businesses seem to assume customers are always trying it on. It's nonsense.

99.9% of customers are genuinely good people (sometimes lacking communications skills) and the remaining 0.1% are not even worth arguing with. Both of my side gigs (Turo and an eBay shop) involve customer service and it's ridiculously easy to make sure every single customer walks away very happy, even the ones who have a problem.

[dan]

I had a great customer who kept telling me 'just remember, all customers are cunts'.

We got on like a house on fire, went MTB'ing together and he invited me over to his place in the Pyrenees. It was all going swimmingly until he ripped me off for just over 2 grand.

[mik]

It was all going swimmingly until he ripped me off for just over 2 grand.

That wasn’t the happy ending I was expecting. Lovely.

[Rich B]

I had a great customer who kept telling me 'just remember, all customers are cunts'.

We got on like a house on fire, went MTB'ing together and he invited me over to his place in the Pyrenees. It was all going swimmingly until he ripped me off for just over 2 grand.

he gave you fair warning at least.

[Jobbo]

Was that £2k worth of good advice from the cunt?

[dan]

I had a great customer who kept telling me 'just remember, all customers are cunts'.

We got on like a house on fire, went MTB'ing together and he invited me over to his place in the Pyrenees. It was all going swimmingly until he ripped me off for just over 2 grand.

he gave you fair warning at least.

Exactly, hard to complain too much.

[dan]

Was that £2k worth of good advice from the cunt?

It’s not the best value advice I’ve ever had….

[davecG60]

Hate to admit it (being a postie) but Amazon are pretty good at what they do. I've been a Prime member ( stop it at the back!) for years and although we don't order that much from them, when we do it has always turned up on as ordered. Any returns we've had we just notify them via the app and then scanned in at the Post Office. Instantish refund as it leaps into the blackhole of the Post Office parcel network.
Does sound like you're dealing with a pandemic spawned twat.

[Gavster]

I had a great customer who kept telling me 'just remember, all customers are cunts'.

We got on like a house on fire, went MTB'ing together and he invited me over to his place in the Pyrenees. It was all going swimmingly until he ripped me off for just over 2 grand.

That sucks, and it always seems to be the customers who become friends that end up screwing you over the hardest.

In my old company, we worked with a lovely bunch who did us for £12k, then another guy did us for £2k, then literally our best mate in business, who we had shared Christmas parties with, did us for £3k.

These days my approach to all debtors is systematic and robotic in pursuing payment, regardless of whether they're a pal or not.

[Mito Man]

When you're young you think older people are grumpy and emotionless. Then you slowly get fucked repeatedly until you become grumpy and emotionless.
Don't even give people the first inch, that way they can't get the proverbial mile...

[Beany]

Even the major disties/resellers are bad. This is for work obviously....

Mutliple channel resellers asked to find something
From a major brand (Lenovo/HP/Dell/etc)
Ryzen 7 5000 series with 8 cores/16 threads - non optional, this is a must, need lots of threads at a non-extortionate price.
16Gb RAM (or option to upgrade - bundle some ram) - this is a must
Screen no bigger than 15", ideally >HD but not essential
512Gb storage
Ideally portability oriented but not a dealbreaker if the price is right.
Availability of a few days/next day - a must.

One came back with a 10th gen Intel i5 16" laptop

One came back with a 15" Ryzen 5 4000 series with 8gb of soldered ram and 256gb storage available in March.

The other is a dell specialist and couldn't find this:
https://www.dell.com/en-uk/work/shop/la ... igurations

Although I'll grant you it's a bit less portable than I'd like.

I know there are supply issues, but I'd rather they just said 'got nothing' than 'got something that ignores your basic requirements'

Eventually settled on one of these as hunted down by one of our more reliable resellers:
https://www.lenovo.com/gb/en/laptops/th ... MD00000448

But with a 5800U, 16gb RAM and 512gb storage, 1080p antiglare panel, should be here Monday or Tuesday.

[Explosive Newt]

I've never had a good experience with any contact to Amazon customer service. I've always found them difficult to contact for starters and had minimal traction when I finally do get in touch.

They're cheap and they're quick but there are reasons for this.

[KevH18]

I bought some Osram Nightbreaker Laser xenon bulbs from a seller on Amazon. One side started to fail after about 3 months and they seller said it was normal wear and tear and any warranty claims would need to be with Osram themselves in Germany. Amazon offered me a 5 quid voucher but nothing else. Helpful when I'd spent 80 quid!

[KiwiDave]

Turns out once shown his own web page where it says 5 pack he folded, has told me he's refunded me 80% of what I paid.

If it turns up, fair enough.

Still need to find some of the masks though, from someone who isn't a prize donkey.