Finally met one of the car-park idiots

[mik]

Usually you only return to your car with bemusement, but yesterday I saw one at work whilst visiting a kitchen (and bathroom) tiling emporium.

Loads of parking relative to the size of the store, in rows of 6 bays. Plenty of individual spaces still available close to the shop entrance, but I instead reverse the E-Tron into a slot in the middle of a completely empty row further away. Perfect.

Mrs mik is half way out of the car when an A3 turns into the same parking section - two 50-ish ladies inside yabbering away. I knew immediately what was coming.

"Look at this dick" I rasped as she turned in (nose first of course) right fucking beside me. Mrs mik was fully out of the car now, and I was starting the thing back up, when A3 pilot opened her door, still gabbering at full pace with her passenger. She saw I was still in the car, and therefore took some care, but was so close to me that she couldn't open her door fully and had to squeeze out, whilst I shook my head in disapproval and deployed my strongest Paddington-bear stare.

As soon as her door closed, I moved out and re-parked at the adjacent completely fucking empty entire row of 6 bays about 10m away.

And she looked back at me with total confusion like I was the idiot. And she was definitely breathing through her mouth.

[Matty]

she turned in (nose first of course)

[Mito Man]

They’re genuinely too thick to know better.

I had a similar experience a month ago. Following a 5 hour hold on the M25 because a pedestrian “fell” off a bridge onto the motorway It was midnight when I was finally on my way again so I stopped off at a McDonald’s on the M20 services and drove to a farish corner of the massive quiet car park and started tucking into my culinary delight.
No sooner than chewing my first bite a cunt pulls up in a van right beside me. They can see I’m in the car which is why they presumably take care exiting but it’s a tight squeeze and the fucker is leaning against my car. I get a full arse crack view. Guess it’s a full moon tonight.

I angrily swallow a cheesy bite and move the car one place forwards after that.

[McSwede]

she turned in (nose first of course)

Once Mik had typed "she" he made the bracketed comments redundant

There are a huge amount of brainless fucknuckles out there breeding with others to create more of them. Terrifying really

[Simon]

You know why they do it? Because they can't see the painted lines below the window line when they're in the space, but they can see the gap between their car and the next so they can work out where to park.

[nuttinnew]

^ That seems a reasonable understanding, alas they fail at "so they can work out where to park".

@mik I am disappointed by the Englishness of your response but understand not wanting to be stabbed by a grannie high on heroin and shortbread.

[Mito Man]

You know why they do it? Because they can't see the painted lines below the window line when they're in the space, but they can see the gap between their car and the next so they can work out where to park.

I know this is taught for the driving test because you have to get it right first time when reversing in a space so it does make it easier plus there's the convenience that you're never getting out the fecking car but to do it for decades afterwards

[Coaster1]

@mik I am disappointed by the Englishness of your response

Should have gone full Glaswegian

[KevH18]

I drove to the coast last Saturday morning to watch the sunrise with the kids. One other car in a line of 30-40 spaces way down from where we parked, then a black Range Rover Sport with ridiculous aftermarket alloys pulls up right next to us - music blaring, one bloke in his 30s and younger lad stares right into to our car. I was already looking at the car as it drove behind us because of the music, and continued to stare through the window at these two lads, who then promptly moved off knowing a bloke with his wife and two kids in the back weren't looking to buy drugs at 8am.

[mik]

promptly moved off knowing a bloke with his wife and two kids in the back weren't looking to buy drugs at 8am.

That’s when you get the best deals!

[V8Granite]

To really screw with them, just move the car slightly as they park.

Dave!

[Explosive Newt]

There is always a queue right out of the staff multi-storey at 7.30. Etiquette is to drive nose first in to save time so the queue behind you isn’t held up - or drive speedily up to a higher level so there is no queue if you wish to perform a more lengthy parking manoeuvre. However there is always some berk on level 2 taking 7 goes at reverse parking into the only space and holding everyone up. Hence the queue.

[dinny_g]

Am I the only one who finds it easier to reverse into a space than drive in nose first ?

[DeskJockey]

Am I the only one who finds it easier to reverse into a space than drive in nose first ?

Depends on the space and the layout of the car park, I find.

[240PP]

Am I the only one who finds it easier to reverse into a space than drive in nose first ?

Same. If it’s a pretty empty carpark I’ll drive in nose first but if I’m between two cars I reverse in every time.

[mik]

Unless space is tight length-wise, and I know I’ll need to access the boot on my return, I “always” reverse in. Insurance companies and advanced driver training groups will advise you that it’s statistically safer.

Coincidentally I heard, and then saw the outcome of two drivers simultaneously reversing out of their parking places opposite each other in a “mall” car park a couple of months back. (There were a couple of cars ahead of me so I didn’t watch it happen). The closing speed could only have been 10-12mph (?), but it was sufficient to smash lights and crease metal on both cars.

[V8Granite]

When the kids were in prams etc we always reversed in as it meant we could organise, pack and get the kids in the car away from the road area.

It all depends on the car park and what you may need the boot for now. More often than not it’s so I can push the passenger side up close to a pillar or wall to save car park dings and make more space on one side.

Dave!

[KevH18]

And do you fuckin know! Another one just as I was leaving the softplay not long ago. I'd reversed in to the end space and was close to the kerb on my side, and plenty of room to get my youngest out - 2 1/2. Came back to the car and an oldish Rav-4 has pulled in so close and at an angle that I could hardly get the door open. Needless to say, I wasn't too concerned whether I'd hit the car with my door or not (the answer is the former). I'd even pulled my neck muscle on one side trying to squeeze her through the gap and pull her harness on.

[duncs500]

Reverse parking is much easier than forwards if it's a tight spot, having a pram very much seems to ruin that in a lot of cases (although I admit that sometimes I prefer to drag the pram out of a tight space than park forwards).

I especially dislike people that gravitate towards your car when you've specifically parked away from other cars.

All in all, I think we can all agree that there are a lot of cunts out there in general though...

[Jimmy Choo]

@mik I am disappointed by the Englishness of your response

Should have gone full Glaswegian

He should have deep fried them?