With a condemned from the road Jag and no other way of getting the kids around I really did have to source and buy a car on a Saturday afternoon. I thought about just hiring the cheapest car I could find but even that is getting for £30/day and with an unknown timescale for getting the Jag booked in and fully fixed up that was potentially ruinous.
The cheapest local cars on Autotrader were a purple 04 Micra for £500 with 11 months ticket, but they weren't answering the phone (I had thoughts about giving this to our 19 year old once I was done with it - ideal first car), or a Fiesta 1.6 Ghia for £600. I called them up but the bloke was utterly clueless (it was his Grandson's car) and then blurted out, oh it still has an insurance black-box fitted. So no.
Gumtree was full of absolute shit.
Facebook marketplace is often a decent source, but you have to filter through a lot of absolute crud to find the hidden gems. About 5 pages in I found this, advertised for £595:
A 20 year old Rover 45 Impression S 1.4i, no less. MOT until April 2022, photos were not great, but a check revealed it had never failed an MOT or had any advisorys beyond tyre wear in all that time. It was at a small dealer in Wroxham. He was about the shut up shop but I explained the situation and he agreed to hang around while I rode over there on my bike.
It's in pretty good condition for the year, last owner since 2010. No obvious rust, tight as a drum to drive and a gloriously velour interior with only the door cards peeling away a bit to give away it's age. It also had a full to the brim tank of fuel!
Perfect for the job, and should be easy to move on for similar money when I'm done with it. Sale done.
By now it was 3pm and I'm 45 mins ride from home, with a car at a closed dealership that I can't physically drive home. Thankfully a mate came to my rescue, got a lift over and drove it home for me. Insurance cost me £3.75 to change lol. Tax and registraton done online while I was waiting.
Here's a couple more pics. I know you will all think it's absolite shite, but I'm quite endeared by it to be honest.

You settle up, I'll go get the Jag.