Mental Health

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duncs500
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Re: Mental Health

Post by duncs500 »

ZedLeg wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:39 am I'm about 6 months into the estimated 18 month wait for an ADHD diagnosis.

I've realised over the last few years that my mental health always goes to shit at this time of year. I figure after some thought that it's a combination of bad weather, work and stressful family stuff. Now that I'm aware of it I'm trying to keep on top of it this year but it's been a trial :lol:
The extra booze, food, and consequential self loathing probably doesn't help either at this time of year!

Funny this thread should pop up now, I've just come off my first call with one of the new company's Cognitive Behavioural Therapists, every employee gets regular sessions with them which is not something I've had access to before.
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Re: Mental Health

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Jobbo wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:55 am
Diagnosis of these things didn't exist when I was a kid and I'm sure the same is true for you, Gav, since you must be over 40.

The thing is, one of my stepsons from my first marriage was diagnosed with Aspergers. He was pretty mild - Nef has met him a few times and would be able to confirm. Other than his (normal state) school getting a bit of extra funding he got no benefit from the diagnosis - just a stigma. He still has to deal with life in exactly the same way as he would have without the label.

Which makes me wonder; if you get diagnosed with ASD or ADHD in your 40s, what does it actually do to help you? I guess you can be prescribed drugs to assist with ADHD as opposed to self-medicating; I have insufficient knowledge to say whether the latter is (more) harmful. My fear is that by having a diagnosis you end up pigeon-holed and perhaps stigmatised. I don't think it was a good thing for my stepson so I would query how beneficial it is generally.
For me personally it means that I have a reason for why I act the way I do.

I've always been incredibly impulsive and easily distracted, which isn't great when I'm trying to keep a job etc.

With a diagnosis I can speak to my work (for example) and say there's a reason why I'm like this, we can work on ways to mitigate the adverse effects.

Like, having seen the improvements I've made over the last couple of years just with the anxiety stuff, I resent myself a bit for not starting sooner :lol:
Last edited by ZedLeg on Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:04 am, edited 1 time in total.
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ZedLeg
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Re: Mental Health

Post by ZedLeg »

duncs500 wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:56 am
ZedLeg wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:39 am I'm about 6 months into the estimated 18 month wait for an ADHD diagnosis.

I've realised over the last few years that my mental health always goes to shit at this time of year. I figure after some thought that it's a combination of bad weather, work and stressful family stuff. Now that I'm aware of it I'm trying to keep on top of it this year but it's been a trial :lol:
The extra booze, food, and consequential self loathing probably doesn't help either at this time of year!

Funny this thread should pop up now, I've just come off my first call with one of the new company's Cognitive Behavioural Therapists, every employee gets regular sessions with them which is not something I've had access to before.
It was quitting drinking that let me see the pattern tbh. I used to just coast through the whole period in a blissful state of "festive cheer" while everything was on fire around me.
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dinny_g
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Re: Mental Health

Post by dinny_g »

I'm beginning to suspect I'm suffering from some sort of Testosterone imbalance as for some reason, I'm unusually tearful. Military parent surprises their kid in school vids in Instagram - floods. Kid getting adopted - Ugly cry. Hell even the music from Interstellar can get me going.

Either that or the other half is slipping me Evening Primrose in my coffee - this has happened before :lol: (albeit by accident... :shock: )

I've cut way back on the booze in recent months. I was drinking very regularly - never to any sort of excess but consistently.
JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:26 pm I say this rarely Dave, but listen to Dinny because he's right.
Rich B wrote: Thu Jun 02, 2022 1:57 pm but Dinny was right…
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duncs500
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Re: Mental Health

Post by duncs500 »

I went out last Sat, and am delighted that I don't have to use up any more weekends drinking until Christmas! I'm getting to the point where it's just frustrating that you lose the best part of a day to drinking, and then the next day isn't great with tiredness/hangover either (aka getting old).

I do enjoy going for beers with friends still, but certainly not with the vigour I used to. Once every couple of months is about right.
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Simon
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Re: Mental Health

Post by Simon »

Good luck to all those here going through it!

I might have mentioned it before but I'm autistic. It made so much of parts of my childhood hard, for me and my parents, yet I wasn't diagnosed till adulthood. Things would've been so much easier if I'd had the diagnosis.

Seems that it runs through my family, as others relatives are also now diagnosed, and my 4 year old son got his diagnosis at the end of October. 'Accepting' it was hard - I felt like I'd failed him. But hopefully actually many things will be easier for him now than they ever were before.

His nursery are working on his EHCP, but as his limitations are mostly social rather than intellectual at the moment it's gonna be hard to actually get it signed off. We're certainly not holding our breath.
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Gavster
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Re: Mental Health

Post by Gavster »

Jobbo wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 9:55 am
Gavster wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 8:18 am Anyway, insults aside, I've been doing a lot of reading into ADHD and ASD recently. I expect that a lot of you will relate :lol: I've always thought this place is an autistic self-help group. I've had a strong suspicion of being ADHD for around four years now, my GP agrees with me, however, he said that adult ADHD referrals are basically not a thing on the NHS, so that was a dead-end. Anyway, I've been getting on with life and obviously, the same shit always comes back. Then a chance comment about ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) earlier this year triggered me to look further.

Damn! That's the one then :P literally tick all the boxes, and also show up as having a very high level of masking too (which explains why I'm good at performing on social media).

And then, to cap it all off, last night I was doing some clearing out and found my school reports from secondary school and they are basically my teachers describing ADHD; distracted, doesn't concentrate, disruptive, restless, inattentive, anxious etc. This was back in the 90s when ADHD was barely ever diagnosed in kids, so not surprised it wasn't flagged. I was just an under-performing student.

Anyway, I really need to get a proper assessment done on these - that's got to be a priority now. If anyone has any suggestions about the best way to get an assessment it'd be appreciated. Clinics seem to charge all kinds of rates and have a wide range of waiting times too.

It would also help to explain why literally a decade and counting of counselling, therapy, recovery and spiritual practices hasn't got to the bottom of this.
Diagnosis of these things didn't exist when I was a kid and I'm sure the same is true for you, Gav, since you must be over 40.

The thing is, one of my stepsons from my first marriage was diagnosed with Aspergers. He was pretty mild - Nef has met him a few times and would be able to confirm. Other than his (normal state) school getting a bit of extra funding he got no benefit from the diagnosis - just a stigma. He still has to deal with life in exactly the same way as he would have without the label.

Which makes me wonder; if you get diagnosed with ASD or ADHD in your 40s, what does it actually do to help you? I guess you can be prescribed drugs to assist with ADHD as opposed to self-medicating; I have insufficient knowledge to say whether the latter is (more) harmful. My fear is that by having a diagnosis you end up pigeon-holed and perhaps stigmatised. I don't think it was a good thing for my stepson so I would query how beneficial it is generally.
I get that, and I've wondered the same for quite some time. A friend got an ADHD diagnosis around the age of 50 and it was a bit of an anticlimax. It's not like it suddenly fixes everything. Medication seems to be a mixed bag, some people love the clarity it affords them, however, it comes with side effects and reduced effectiveness over time if taken regualrly. Other possible negative impacts such as New Zealand for a long time had visa (or maybe citizenship) restrictions for people diagnosed with autism due to the potential healthcare burden. They've changed it now.

At the same time, it would feel like vindication for all of the crap that I've constantly struggled with for years, especially around maintaining a work schedule - I've never been able to maintain a full-time work schedule. Even when I was in full-time jobs I would routinely have shutdowns, or worse become massively disruptive. I guess part of the reason for wanting a diagnosis is because I feel like I shouldn't self-diagnose - although it seems that more people believe that self-diagnosis is valid. After all, you mentioned stigma, nobody has thought that being autistic is cool.

Another thing I have huge dissonance around is DE&I. I've recently completed a few applications for academic or media work which specifically want to know about this stuff. I feel I need the stamp of authority to say "yes" to them.
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Re: Mental Health

Post by Gavster »

Simon wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:23 am I might have mentioned it before but I'm autistic. It made so much of parts of my childhood hard, for me and my parents, yet I wasn't diagnosed till adulthood. Things would've been so much easier if I'd had the diagnosis.
That really resonates. I recently read 'Unmasked' by Ellie Middleton and when she went through the formal requirements for diagnosis I was in tears because suddenly the last 45 years of tumultuous relationships, problems with socialising and what I now realise is masking on a massive scale all made sense. I'm already starting to adapt my life to this new knowledge and it's incredibly relieving.
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Re: Mental Health

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dinny_g wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:05 am I'm beginning to suspect I'm suffering from some sort of Testosterone imbalance as for some reason, I'm unusually tearful. Military parent surprises their kid in school vids in Instagram - floods. Kid getting adopted - Ugly cry. Hell even the music from Interstellar can get me going.

Either that or the other half is slipping me Evening Primrose in my coffee - this has happened before :lol: (albeit by accident... :shock: )

I've cut way back on the booze in recent months. I was drinking very regularly - never to any sort of excess but consistently.
Go to Optimale and get tested, once straight away and the other after a couple of weeks.

I’m now taking a huge amount to just get back to average and am stronger, eat better, sleep better etc.

Even the wife had been suffering for a long time and we binned off all carbs, veg and sugars and she is like Tigger, so much energy, happy and absolutely constant energy levels. So our house is just steaks, egg, small amount of dairy, lamb, chicken and salmon.
It’s also meant sex 7 days a week as we both have the energy for it now. We have genuinely never been happier at all.
I’ve also found we handle our boys better, so the whole house is happier and calmer.

Give it a try.

Dave!
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Re: Mental Health

Post by dinny_g »

V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:44 am we binned off all carbs, veg and sugars
Now that would make me depressed!!! :lol:

No seriously you are right - I'm due to speak with my doc at the end of the month so I'm going to bring it up first. To be totally honest, I don't struggle with energy and don't really have trouble sleeping. so it might not be testosterone related

My councillor noted (both from various tests and from our general sessions) that I have a very high level of empathy so when I see, for example, the kid being re-united with their military parent, I subconsciously feel what that might be like for me personally and my son, rather than just watching others go through it.

Back in the day, we'd have said "Just fucking man up you baby" but everyone knows to look into these things a little more deeply these days...
JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:26 pm I say this rarely Dave, but listen to Dinny because he's right.
Rich B wrote: Thu Jun 02, 2022 1:57 pm but Dinny was right…
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Re: Mental Health

Post by ZedLeg »

V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:44 am So our house is just steaks, egg, small amount of dairy, lamb, chicken and salmon.
Do you get all the nutrition you need from that?
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Re: Mental Health

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I find the carnivore diet fascinating. A lot of people believe it's a panacea for many illnesses and malaise, and I believe them. If someone says they feel amazing after a few months on it, then that's real as far as I can see.

When it comes to nutrition, there is a lot of misinformation out there. And it might not be suitable for some people's lifestyles, for example certain sports might not fit nicely with it. Also, saturated fat. High levels of saturated fat are linked to negative health outcomes over the long term. People in the carnivore community argue about this, but the science is pretty clear on the matter. Howeer, it's not something that'll hit you now, it's something that could be an issue in 20 years time if you continue on the diet. And people who say "I'm carnivore and I'm fine" are basically the equivalent of saying "my grandparents smoked into their 80s" as if that proves smoking is good for you.

Also, due to the nature of the diet, there is very little rigorous science about long term health impacts, e.g. we've not been able to study the long term health outcomes of a large group of the population who follow the diet. My view however, is that if your life feels like crap and changing your diet genuinely makes you feel great, then who cares if you die a few years earlier. It's better to enjoy the life we have, rather than spend a couple more years in a nursing home.
Last edited by Gavster on Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Mental Health

Post by V8Granite »

dinny_g wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:10 am
V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:44 am we binned off all carbs, veg and sugars
Back in the day, we'd have said "Just fucking man up you baby" but everyone knows to look into these things a little more deeply these days...
I disagree, I think you do need to man up, be a rock, be the one people go to for support etc but don’t bottle it up. Find a way to release the stress etc. I’d lost mine after selling the bike and no fun car, stopped cycling etc and it all went kaboom in one go.

Aslong as you can let it go then you should be strong when needed.

Dave!
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Re: Mental Health

Post by ZedLeg »

I agree tbh, it's why I don't give a fuck whenever someone tries to wow me with science and claim my diet is going to give me osteoperosis :lol:.

I have pretty much the opposite diet of Dave! and it's been an improvement for me too.
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Re: Mental Health

Post by V8Granite »

ZedLeg wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:15 am
V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:44 am So our house is just steaks, egg, small amount of dairy, lamb, chicken and salmon.
Do you get all the nutrition you need from that?
Just good quality butchers steak alone did it before. I screwed it up by adding condiments which had a load of sugar in.

My cholesterol dropped aswel.

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Re: Mental Health

Post by ZedLeg »

Do you have anything that you referenced when you decided to switch to the diet?

I'm always curious about restrictive diets.
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Re: Mental Health

Post by ZedLeg »

V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:21 am
dinny_g wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:10 am
V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 10:44 am we binned off all carbs, veg and sugars
Back in the day, we'd have said "Just fucking man up you baby" but everyone knows to look into these things a little more deeply these days...
I disagree, I think you do need to man up, be a rock, be the one people go to for support etc but don’t bottle it up. Find a way to release the stress etc. I’d lost mine after selling the bike and no fun car, stopped cycling etc and it all went kaboom in one go.

Aslong as you can let it go then you should be strong when needed.

Dave!
That's terrible advice Dave, misinterpreted stoicism has fucked up successive generations of men.

Being open and honest with your emotions is always better.
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Re: Mental Health

Post by V8Granite »

Gavster wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:19 am I find the carnivore diet fascinating. A lot of people believe it's a panacea for many illnesses and malaise, and I believe them. If someone says they feel amazing after a few months on it, then that's real as far as I can see.

When it comes to nutrition, there is a lot of misinformation out there. And it might not be suitable for some people's lifestyles, for example certain sports might not fit nicely with it. Also, saturated fat. High levels of saturated fat are linked to negative health outcomes over the long term. People in the carnivore community argue about this, but the science is pretty clear on the matter. Howeer, it's not something that'll hit you now, it's something that could be an issue in 20 years time if you continue on the diet. And people who say "I'm carnivore and I'm fine" are basically the equivalent of saying "my grandparents smoked into their 80s" as if that proves smoking is good for you.

Also, due to the nature of the diet, there is very little rigorous science about long term health impacts, e.g. we've not been able to study the long term health outcomes of a large group of the population who follow the diet. My view however, is that if your life feels like crap and changing your diet genuinely makes you feel great, then who cares if you die a few years earlier. It's better to enjoy the life we have, rather than spend a couple more years in a nursing home.
There are a few things which made me get rid of nearly all my veg.

When I eat a mixed diet, I get a lot of joint pain, which is likely caused by auto-immune issues so could be just one veg or most veg, I’ve never tried to find out.

I have absolutely no ups and downs, sugar levels are rock solid and I don’t feel tired till bedtime. I have never used tea or coffee etc. it also completely removed my sugar cravings.

I was never hungry, I ate till I was full and waited till I wanted to eat again, it was 36 hour breaks a few times.

Dry skin between my toes cleared up, I’m in heavy work boots for 13 hours a day and always had it to some degree before this.

Virtually zero farts, very small stools, so what went in the body used. I lost 2 stone and at no point did it feel like I was on a calorie deficit.

It’s certainly not for everyone but to say it’s unhealthy I think is wrong, I have regular bloods done and despite 8 eggs a day cooked in butter with streaky bacon, my cholesterol has gone from 5 to 4.

I had 40 years on a good mixed diet, no processed crap but a big appetite, at least 10 years with just butcher meats and local veg. It was a struggle when travelling but food quality was never a problem. I’ve got a buggered shoulder but all my other pain has gone after abusing my body for so long physically. Certainly worth trying and keep a note of your levels if you are worried.

What we learnt in school about diet is utter balls.

I’m more than happy to share blood test results and any other testing I do in the future.

Dave!
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Re: Mental Health

Post by V8Granite »

ZedLeg wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:28 am
V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:21 am
dinny_g wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:10 am

Back in the day, we'd have said "Just fucking man up you baby" but everyone knows to look into these things a little more deeply these days...
I disagree, I think you do need to man up, be a rock, be the one people go to for support etc but don’t bottle it up. Find a way to release the stress etc. I’d lost mine after selling the bike and no fun car, stopped cycling etc and it all went kaboom in one go.

Aslong as you can let it go then you should be strong when needed.

Dave!
That's terrible advice Dave, misinterpreted stoicism has fucked up successive generations of men.

Being open and honest with your emotions is always better.
Utter rubbish, my kids were balling their eyes out when Flash died, they didn’t need a room full of people crying, they needed someone to comfort them and support them. It doesn’t mean you can’t show emotion, it shows that you can be strong when needed.

When my Grandpa died, it was a huge comfort to have my Dad there being strong. It doesn’t mean he is an emotionless robot.

Dave!
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ZedLeg
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Re: Mental Health

Post by ZedLeg »

V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:42 am
ZedLeg wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:28 am
V8Granite wrote: Wed Nov 22, 2023 11:21 am

I disagree, I think you do need to man up, be a rock, be the one people go to for support etc but don’t bottle it up. Find a way to release the stress etc. I’d lost mine after selling the bike and no fun car, stopped cycling etc and it all went kaboom in one go.

Aslong as you can let it go then you should be strong when needed.

Dave!
That's terrible advice Dave, misinterpreted stoicism has fucked up successive generations of men.

Being open and honest with your emotions is always better.
Utter rubbish, my kids were balling their eyes out when Flash died, they didn’t need a room full of people crying, they needed someone to comfort them and support them. It doesn’t mean you can’t show emotion, it shows that you can be strong when needed.

When my Grandpa died, it was a huge comfort to have my Dad there being strong. It doesn’t mean he is an emotionless robot.

Dave!
It's fine to be supportive if you're able to, but to tell people who are more emotional that they shouldn't be is wrong. That's where the problem with your other comment was.
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