Mental Health

[ZedLeg]

One trait of my own self-induced malaise is that you never amplify the things, any of the things, that go right or feel good. Oh so quick to rub your own nose in it when you fuck things up or feel shit but never ever mention the things that go as you'd hoped.

i.e Tell everyone about just how fucking great you are, or good you feel, when ever you get a legit opportunity to do so. Don't be your own worst enemy. There's plenty of cunts that'll do that job for free.

Joking or otherwise, I agree with every single word of that!

Aye, I have a habit of isolating myself and beating myself up whenever I do something I consider to be a fuck up and not acknowledging that occasionally I can do things right.

I'm trying to be a bit less hard on myself and just chat to friends about the good things happening in my life more.

[IanF]

FWIW I'm finding this very easy to follow and have no idea what has caused Ian to fall over so dramatically, on a subject matter that he himself brought into the discussion

It was 3am and I’d been drinking since lunch time after two hours sleep!

[Simon]

FWIW I'm finding this very easy to follow and have no idea what has caused Ian to fall over so dramatically, on a subject matter that he himself brought into the discussion

It was 3am and I’d been drinking since lunch time after two hours sleep!

In that case shouldn't you have been concentrating on flying rather than replying to threads on the forum?

[scotta]

Followers of our race page may already have seen this. My mate pulled a disappearing act on Saturday. went out at 9 am in the car minus phone and didn't re-appear until after midnight. Police launched a missing persons hunt to try find him. I dont know the full story but i believe he came back of is own accord.

His dad died of cancer a month or so ago so i know he's been having a shit time but i thought he was doing better after we had a decent chat on the phone last week.

Felt pretty helpless as he lives in Aberdeen. Tried to call him today but he didnt answer. Just left a message saying i was just calling for a chat and it was cool if he didnt want to speak but if he does then call me back. Sent him a message to say im here if he needs me which he has read. Not sure what else i can do.

[JLv3.0]

FWIW I'm finding this very easy to follow and have no idea what has caused Ian to fall over so dramatically, on a subject matter that he himself brought into the discussion

It was 3am and I’d been drinking since lunch time after two hours sleep!

Acceptable

[scotta]

Followers of our race page may already have seen this. My mate pulled a disappearing act on Saturday. went out at 9 am in the car minus phone and didn't re-appear until after midnight. Police launched a missing persons hunt to try find him. I dont know the full story but i believe he came back of is own accord.

His dad died of cancer a month or so ago so i know he's been having a shit time but i thought he was doing better after we had a decent chat on the phone last week.

Felt pretty helpless as he lives in Aberdeen. Tried to call him today but he didnt answer. Just left a message saying i was just calling for a chat and it was cool if he didnt want to speak but if he does then call me back. Sent him a message to say im here if he needs me which he has read. Not sure what else i can do.

Ive now spoken to him.

He's posted this. Absolute fair play.

[Gavin]

I saw this at the weekend, a lot of my family are up in the Aberdeen area and quite a few shared, glad it had a happy ending.

The bit about losing his hero put a lump my throat.

[dinny_g]

My problems really began with the death of my mentor in violent circumstances a few years ago and I've never really dealt with it. He was the only universally positive influence in my life who had far more faith in me than I probably deserved...

His death has left a huge hole in my self confidence which I'm having to fill myself...

[ste]

He's a nice lad Findlay, have known him through Northloop for years. Good on him.

[ste]

As many know, being out in the hills can be a great healer. This website is part of a new campaign to show the benefits of it. Have a look and hopefully it may help https://www.mountainsforthemind.co.uk/

In a similar vain, my bicycles are my medication. I know if I've not been out for a while my mood darkens. I'll also invariably be part way into a ride, look around me and take the world in and suddenly feel like I've just woken from a semi-sleep that was clouding my mind. It helps being able to get out into an isolated, beautiful place quite quickly. I know from past experience that when I've lived in towns with less access to a more remote rural setting my moods are worse.


I wonder if anyone on here hasn't suffered from any kind of mental health 'issue'? I'm increasingly of the opinion that nobody is neurotypical, as Beany put it. Certainly now I'm into my 40s I know of few friends who haven't openly at some point had at least some kind of anxiety or depression.

[jamcg]

No idea how to get around this. Not sure if this is still a hang-over from working at the Bank which was a proper mind fuck.

I need to think about what I say every time I open my big mouth and listen to my inner angle and just STFU 90% of the time I think.

This is something I can relate to, I used to be really bad with regards to loosing my temper, it was like it was on a hairtrigger or something.

First thing to remember is a sincere and meaningful apology goes a long way. It’s hard to explain why you act in a certain way when you don’t understand why you’re acting in that way yourself. Sometimes I’ve Been in a situation where I have had to be told I’m being a dick because I didn’t realise I was. Owning up to it and talking about it helps understanding on both sides.

I think the way I came to manage this (it does still rear it’s head from time to time) is the simple thing of deep breath, count and let the anger pass- and when you find a situation you don’t kick off in and you think to yourself “on a different day I’d have lost it there” don’t be afraid to be a little bit proud of yourself- it’s as has already been said several times in this thread, we’re quick to shoot ourselves down but not to praise ourselves when we do something good.

There’s not going to be an off switch to this, I think I’ve been incredibly lucky to have got a hold of it myself- if it is a problem do seek help from a doctor, people don’t realise anger is a symptom of underlying anxiety and is a common way it emerges, quite often without the realisation of suffering with it

[Swervin_Mervin]

I wonder if anyone on here hasn't suffered from any kind of mental health 'issue'? I'm increasingly of the opinion that nobody is neurotypical, as Beany put it. Certainly now I'm into my 40s I know of few friends who haven't openly at some point had at least some kind of anxiety or depression.

I was about to raise my hand and say I don't believe I ever knowingly have had anxiety or depression. At least in the fullest sense. However, I was at a fairly low ebb when me and the wife separated some 7yrs ago, and looking back I can now see that I was up and down way more than I would normally be. Some manic highs and some lows that led me to say and do things I regret. It never felt like something I couldn't climb out of though, and that's what leads me to suspect it was never full blown anxiety or depression.

I consider myself incredibly fortunate. I've seen longstanding friends suffer very seriously in the last 5-10 years, some for obvious reasons and some unknown, and it has truly changed my perspective on mental health matters. When I look back at how a group of us friends were to one in Uni when she was suffering, following her boyfriend's suicide, it makes me cringe. But thankfully understanding and knowledge has moved on considerably in the last 20 years. It still remains something I find incredibly difficult to understand though, and I guess I never will unless I find myself suffering.

It's also something that genuinely intrigues me as to what is fuelling the apparent marked increase in the number of people suffering though. I'm sure some of it must be down to better understanding and more people understanding the issues themselves and being willing to not suffer in silence. But there is undoubtedly still a worrying increase in people suffering - that much is borne out if nowhere else than the impact upon the emergency services. Is anyone doing any sort of studies to try and better understand causal factors, and what might have changed so recently to give rise to the increase in sufferers?

[JLv3.0]

Awareness is one thing, but I also think it's our age and the age of those around us. It's all a bit real these days at our age group - parents getting older, kids to look after, youthful innocence a fairly distant memory and so on. Also that sneaking realisation that perhaps we're probably not going to be astronauts or F1 drivers.

[ZedLeg]

I don’t think it’s a case of more people suffering rather than better awareness. I’ve felt like this for most if not all of my adult life but it’s taken until now to try and deal with it in a healthy way.

I used to drink/smoke/take pills or whatever to feel better but you can’t do that forever (he says after having a bad day yesterday and getting pished last night).

[evostick]

It's also something that genuinely intrigues me as to what is fuelling the apparent marked increase in the number of people suffering though. I'm sure some of it must be down to better understanding and more people understanding the issues themselves and being willing to not suffer in silence. But there is undoubtedly still a worrying increase in people suffering - that much is borne out if nowhere else than the impact upon the emergency services. Is anyone doing any sort of studies to try and better understand causal factors, and what might have changed so recently to give rise to the increase in sufferers?

I think we're reaping the rewards of an education system which instills in us a cartesian way of thinking from a very young and formative age.

It encourages us to view the mind as separate from the outside world and removed from it's proper purpose which is regulating our emotional wellbeing so that we can better connect with the world around us.

As Bhudda himself apparently said - separation from reality leads to suffering.

[Holley]

It's also something that genuinely intrigues me as to what is fuelling the apparent marked increase in the number of people suffering though. I'm sure some of it must be down to better understanding and more people understanding the issues themselves and being willing to not suffer in silence. But there is undoubtedly still a worrying increase in people suffering - that much is borne out if nowhere else than the impact upon the emergency services. Is anyone doing any sort of studies to try and better understand causal factors, and what might have changed so recently to give rise to the increase in sufferers?

I think we're reaping the rewards of an education system which instills in us a cartesian way of thinking from a very young and formative age.

It encourages us to view the mind as separate from the outside world and removed from it's proper purpose which is regulating our emotional wellbeing so that we can better connect with the world around us.

As Bhudda himself apparently said - separation from reality leads to suffering.

Wise fella that Bhudda bloke. Problem I face is recognising reality from thought/stories of the mind. Too often I find myself believing my thoughts as reality when really they're just a bundle of thoughts (normally about the past or future). So for me I've noticed when I believe my thoughts, I suffer (which I guess is what separation from reality is).

Study wise, I've read a lot to try and understand the nature of the connection between mind and wellbeing. Everything from hypnosis, NLP, Carl Yung, Biological Counselling, Bhuddism, ACIM, Quantum Physics, Hinduism and so on. Pretty much anything I can get my hands on.

From all that reading it really is all summed up in your last sentence. I guess I'm just a little slow to understand it

As to why more people appear to be suffering from mental illnesses now than in any other time (as far as we know), I'm not sure. My guess is that we're living in a time of great abundance where even the average person in developed countries can have a lot of stuff (yet some studies show that generally developed countries aren't any happier than undeveloped ones). I think we believed that getting the stuff would make us happier but we're slowly realising that it's just not true. And so I guess a lot of people are a little stuck as to what the hell would make them happier. As Eckhart Tolle once said, there's two ways to be unhappy, not getting what you want and getting what you want!

[Holley]

Oh I read that the collapse of religion may have played a part too. There's a theory that before the World Wars, most poor people accepted their suffering because the light at the end of the tunnel was they'd get to heaven. So in a way, their suffering made sense as they believed it would come to an end.

Now most people don't follow religion, their suffering seems meaningless with no end in sight accept in death.

Obviously a lot of religious leaders have a lot to answer for in making up an idea of heaven being some magical place outside them, governed by a sky fairy.

[ste]

That's partly why religion was invented though. If you want to get grunts to build cities for you without question then you tell them there's a higher purpose to it all. It stops people questioning and spending the days asking questions or navel gazing.

[Nefarious]

It's also something that genuinely intrigues me as to what is fuelling the apparent marked increase in the number of people suffering though. I'm sure some of it must be down to better understanding and more people understanding the issues themselves and being willing to not suffer in silence. But there is undoubtedly still a worrying increase in people suffering - that much is borne out if nowhere else than the impact upon the emergency services. Is anyone doing any sort of studies to try and better understand causal factors, and what might have changed so recently to give rise to the increase in sufferers?

One of my old mantras is that unhappiness/anxiety always fundamentally comes from one of 2 places:
Unexpected lack of autonomy - powerlessness to have the influence on your environment that you expect
Cognitive dissonance - inconsistencies in your mental narrative that you can ignore in the short term but ultimately undermine your sense of authenticity

I think part of the rise in mental health issues, as well as increased willingness to talk about it and increased popular awareness of it, is an ever-increasing gap between people's expectations and the reality of life. Living in a society that claims to value everyone equally but still working in a shitty zero-hours semi-slavery job? Unexpected lack of autonomy. Selling a story of living the high-life on Facebook while you eat takeaway pizza alone on your sofa? Cognitive dissonance.

[Nefarious]

Another thing is that there seems to be an increasing narrative in society of happiness as currency.
Once upon a time people judged their externally visible success to a greater extent in money, status etc, but the problem with that is that, by definition, only a minority can be on the winning side of the conspicuous consumption game. Much better for people to build their self-worth around the more nebulous and less quantifiable concept of "happiness".
So people spend massive amounts of mindspace on projecting an external narrative of happiness, wondering why their internal feelings don't match up to the projection (cognitive dissonance) and feeling impotent to improve the situation (unexpected lack of autonomy).