Mental Health

[Barry]

Good luck to everyone going through this. It fucking sucks but it gets better, once you get the right treatment.

^^ what Dave said.

I did wonder for a moment, why you're all taking up learning to ride a motorcycle to help get you through

I definitely have a better day on the days I ride.

I'd for sure be in a worse mood without my bikes.

[jamcg]

All the best to everyone, the brain really is a strange thing

I’ve never had to go through any of this myself so I’ve got no words of wisdom from the point of view of a sufferer, but having a wife who suffers from anxiety, I do have one thing to add- if you get meds write down if you’ve taken them that day- sounds silly but it’s worth having that reference and it gets you in a habit to ensure you take them regularly. My wife is hopeless at remembering to take hers and you can really tell if she hasn’t taken them . One day missed isn’t too bad but after 2 her mood is all over the place and takes a couple of days to balance back out once taking them regularly again, so it’s well worth having a system in place

[NotoriousREV]

If anyone wants some non-scientific, anecdotal advice: practice mindfullness. It definitely helped me with anxiety negative self-talk. It helps me reset if I get into a downward spiral.

[drcarlos]

Yeah sleep has always been an issue for me but my pattern has been all over the place recently.

Last night for example. Crashed at about 10.30, got up again when my missus got home from work at about 12.45, ended up sitting up until about 4 then went back to bed until 7 when I got up for work.

It’s not always that bad but I rarely sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. I’m hoping that now that I’ve knocked the drinking on it’s head for a while and starting to exercise again I’ll sleep more regularly. Back to a whole 6 hours at a time .

Thanks for the offer, we were in the same area iirc but I moved through to Glasgow a few years ago.

Sleep has always been my lynchpin too. Similar Nefs situation, mind won't shutdown at night. A few years ago (well about 8 years ago now) the doctor prescribed Zopiclone which did help but was only short term. we then moved to Mirtazipine which after the initial settling in periods I sorted a dose, now I only take in a really small dose (half the smallest tab, which is proven to be more sedating at smaller doses) but it could knock out a horse and do it for 8 hours! Beats the shit out of Citalapram and Venlafaxine which make you feel like a zombie.

Carl.

[davecG60]

Good luck everybody who is suffering.

Luckily I have been pretty constant the last few months. A couple of blips where I can feel myself sliding down into that black void but I've managed to climb out. It really is a horrible thing to have to live with. I have suffered for the past 7 years approx. having started with a generally low mood and almost "dark " vision ( I described it as having grey tinted glasses on all the time to my counselor). A few weeks after that ( I realise that was the warning I should have listened to!) I collapsed at work and came round rocking in the corner crying my eyes out. At that time I had no idea what had happened , I walked home , got into bed and (still crying) looked to see my youngest kid staring at me

For the next few years I probably averaged 6 - 9 months at work with the rest off - seeing various specialists on the way.
Some have worked wonders and some have been useless. I think with my D&A it has been hard to pick 1 root cause of it all. Certainly the early death of my workaholic Dad ( I was 15) had a huge impact, as you may expect. Growing up with a father who put his job before home life impacted me greatly. The holidays cut short because of important meetings, the long hours and waiting up to see him come home, the weekends spent at his office. He loved us dearly when he was there but in the mid 80s there wasn't the information about health that we have now. Two parents went away for the weekend (business dinner dance) and only 1 came home. At the time we thought we had dealt with his death well but I guess I hadn't. Losing both parents by the time I was 40 although shit and catastrophic has seen me look at life differently. I used to be jealous of friends with "good" jobs who seemingly had it all. Reflecting now I can say I have always been there for my kids when they have needed me. Never missed a school event due to work like so many do. We never have money for holidays etc but we have a safe place with both parents around if needed.

Life is shit sometimes but I manage (with my meds / meditation / well being !) through learning about myself and finding things that work for me. As many know , being out in the hills can be a great healer. This website is part of a new campaign to show the benefits of it. Have a look and hopefully it may help https://www.mountainsforthemind.co.uk/

I have tried to be open to all about my mental health and have generally had positive reactions from it. Some people understand and some say "cheer up, what have you got to be miserable about?!" - that's life , not everyone knows whats going on. If we had an arm in a sling it would be understood more, but to be fit and well on the outside and yet mentally imploding means its hidden from view.
Having said that I had a customer come to me yesterday and ask loudly " how is your mental health and all that depression stuff you have ?!" :
Being polite I smiled and turned away cursing under my breath

Anyway, I'm here lurking often so if anyone needs to talk I'm available via the PM service ( presume its more reliable than the olden days)

Good luck y'all
Dave x

[evostick]

Sorry for all that are having a hard time at the moment. I'm not, in fact I've never felt better (fucking jinxed myself there for sure)

I found this https://www.amazon.co.uk/Intelligence-F ... +the+flesh to be a very worthwhile read when I was trying to sort out my approach to life a while back.

HTH someone.

[Beany]

Sigh, I'm having to admit to myself that the Citalopram isn't working quite as well as I thought, and nor is my method of trying to 'look after myself'.

Nasty reminder today of how the real world works, that I don't particularly want to discuss at the moment out of shame, but I'm sure those who have been there and done that have had a similar uh oh' problem, be it health, financial or personal interaction related. No, I haven't performed some kind of horrendous sexual deviancy, obviously

Gonna have a chat with a guy at work on Monday who's been there and done that and try to drag myself out of a horribly deep hole that I didn't even realise I was in - which, for the neurotypicals out there, is why it's a mental illness, not just an annoyance or a mild character flaw.

Oh well. Back to somewhere slightly above square one I suppose.

[Broccers]

I'm not, in fact I've never felt better

Its good people can talk about feeling low these days tho.

[IanF]

This is really interesting. My industry doesn’t talk about this at all, so I’m genuinely interested in how you dealt with it and, maybe more specifically, how you helped others.

[nuttinnew]

^ I don't know if I'm surprised by that or not
I'm maybe not surprised they don't mention it by name, but I am surprised it's not looked at in one way shape or form. At least, I was until I thought it's probably not considered with coach or bus drivers, so why would it be different for pilots?

[IanF]

^ I don't know if I'm surprised by that or not
I'm maybe not surprised they don't mention it by name, but I am surprised it's not looked at in one way shape or form. At least, I was until I thought it's probably not considered with coach or bus drivers, so why would it be different for pilots?

What!?

[nuttinnew]

My industry doesn’t talk about this at all,

[IanF]

My industry doesn’t talk about this at all,

Okay, and what was the question?

[nuttinnew]

My industry doesn’t talk about this at all,

Okay, and what was the question?

No question from me, just an expression of muted surprise (mental) health isn't talked about in your industry (especially after the Germanwings crash).

[JLv3.0]

FWIW I'm finding this very easy to follow and have no idea what has caused Ian to fall over so dramatically, on a subject matter that he himself brought into the discussion

[nuttinnew]

Thanks!

[evostick]

I'm not, in fact I've never felt better

Its good people can talk about feeling low these days tho.

Shame you don't have any you cunt

One trait of my own self-induced malaise is that you never amplify the things, any of the things, that go right or feel good. Oh so quick to rub your own nose in it when you fuck things up or feel shit but never ever mention the things that go as you'd hoped.

i.e Tell everyone about just how fucking great you are, or good you feel, when ever you get a legit opportunity to do so. Don't be your own worst enemy. There's plenty of cunts that'll do that job for free.

[JLv3.0]

One trait of my own self-induced malaise is that you never amplify the things, any of the things, that go right or feel good. Oh so quick to rub your own nose in it when you fuck things up or feel shit but never ever mention the things that go as you'd hoped.

i.e Tell everyone about just how fucking great you are, or good you feel, when ever you get a legit opportunity to do so. Don't be your own worst enemy. There's plenty of cunts that'll do that job for free.

Joking or otherwise, I agree with every single word of that!

[Gavin]

Yesterday after a successful birthday party for my wee lad we went to put stuff back in the car and my daughter asked me to open the boot then grabbed at the handle while it was unlocking, so the lock went wild and I out of all proportion said fairly aggressively "Oh FFS" then variously "just get in the bloody car" etc.

I would have a go at excuses and justifications but essentially I was a dick (not for the first time, I know) and from having rarely sworn a few years ago, I seem to do it at the drop of a hat.

As a result my wife ended up driving off and leaving me. Being a dick I then rejected her olive branch of "walk to he wee shop and get a lift" and instead walked about 8 miles along the Borders Abbey Way as it go colder and darker.

If I carry on doing this sort of aggressive shit I will end up single and no doubt damaging my kids.

No idea how to get around this. Not sure if this is still a hang-over from working at the Bank which was a proper mind fuck.

I need to think about what I say every time I open my big mouth and listen to my inner angle and just STFU 90% of the time I think.

[Holley]

Yesterday after a successful birthday party for my wee lad we went to put stuff back in the car and my daughter asked me to open the boot then grabbed at the handle while it was unlocking, so the lock went wild and I out of all proportion said fairly aggressively "Oh FFS" then variously "just get in the bloody car" etc.

I would have a go at excuses and justifications but essentially I was a dick (not for the first time, I know) and from having rarely sworn a few years ago, I seem to do it at the drop of a hat.

As a result my wife ended up driving off and leaving me. Being a dick I then rejected her olive branch of "walk to he wee shop and get a lift" and instead walked about 8 miles along the Borders Abbey Way as it go colder and darker.

If I carry on doing this sort of aggressive shit I will end up single and no doubt damaging my kids.

No idea how to get around this. Not sure if this is still a hang-over from working at the Bank which was a proper mind fuck.

I need to think about what I say every time I open my big mouth and listen to my inner angle and just STFU 90% of the time I think.

I remember the first time I was aware I did this, it was quite a shocker. Never saw myself as an angry person at all, quite the opposite in fact. About 2 years ago I lost my shit because I couldn't click the seatbelt through the child seat. When I realised how I was reacting wasn't just some funny episode, I got quite upset by it and didn't want to pass this behaviour to my daughter.

I told my wife about what had happened and apparently everyone was aware of my losing my shit over stupid little things. She was quite supportive about it and I accepted any help that was available.

I'm not cured of it, but episodes are shorter and I'm much more aware. Sometimes I can feel it coming and so I'll just sit with it until it passes. If I have lost it, I will own up to it and apologise instead of the old me where I would blame everyone else.

Don't try and deal with it on your own. Own up to it, speak with your wife and accept the help that comes.