OV9

Shirely the ideal companion to balance out the saucepan-sized timepiece you've got affixed to your wanking hand?

I was going to start a ratchet strap thread

I love ratchet straps. Not just for their utility, but also because very few people seem to be able to operate them properly

Yep, ratchet straps are ace.

I like the ones I have that are for dummies.

I purchased a couple for lashing stuff to the roof of the Mini as I was fed up of the faff of roping stuff on. They're great and make a magnificent farty noise when you're over 20mph.

JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:19 am ...very few people seem to be able to operate them properly

How ?? How can you Do It Wrong ?

I've seen people get themselves in a right mess trying to setup a ratchet strap!

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:47 am I purchased a couple for lashing stuff to the roof of the Mini as I was fed up of the faff of roping stuff on. They're great and make a magnificent farty noise when you're over 20mph.

Not if you tighten them to a high A sharp!

NotoriousREV wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:36 pm

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:47 am I purchased a couple for lashing stuff to the roof of the Mini as I was fed up of the faff of roping stuff on. They're great and make a magnificent farty noise when you're over 20mph.

Not if you tighten them to a high A sharp!

But then I wouldn't make a farty noise.

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:40 pm

NotoriousREV wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:36 pm

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:47 am I purchased a couple for lashing stuff to the roof of the Mini as I was fed up of the faff of roping stuff on. They're great and make a magnificent farty noise when you're over 20mph.

Not if you tighten them to a high A sharp!

But then I wouldn't make a farty noise.

depends on your diet and how tight your rear end is...

Sundayjumper wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:16 pm

JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:19 am ...very few people seem to be able to operate them properly

How ?? How can you Do It Wrong ?

I watched a guy try and fail to fgure out the ratchet then start tying the straps together once. I showed him how they worked before he set off and killed someone .

Sundayjumper wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:16 pm

JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 10:19 am ...very few people seem to be able to operate them properly

How ?? How can you Do It Wrong ?

You really would be amazed. For example, most people don't take up the slack before ratcheting away, then get all knocked out of shape about how long it takes to Do It Wrong. Then add to this most people aren't very good at releasing them, and that about covers it.

I don't struggle with any of this, by the way, because I'm not shit.

Rich B wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:45 pm

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:40 pm

NotoriousREV wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:36 pm

Not if you tighten them to a high A sharp!

But then I wouldn't make a farty noise.

depends on your diet and how tight your rear end is...

My diet is very good and the Mini won't lift off oversteer if that helps?

As an aside, I have an interest in gut health and it was pointed out to me that a fart is actually just where you have released the combined farts of all the bacteria that live inside your gut.

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 11:47 am I purchased a couple for lashing stuff to the roof of the Mini as I was fed up of the faff of roping stuff on. They're great and make a magnificent farty noise when you're over 20mph.

I'm sure you know this but a single twist will eliminate this...

Recently a mate and I used Ratchet Straps to pull a Red Telephone Box square so we could get the roof on - very versatile things all in all...

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:45 pm

Rich B wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:45 pm

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:40 pm
But then I wouldn't make a farty noise.

depends on your diet and how tight your rear end is...

My diet is very good and the Mini won't lift off oversteer if that helps?

As an aside, I have an interest in gut health and it was pointed out to me that a fart is actually just where you have released the combined farts of all the bacteria that live inside your gut.

What did you think they were?!

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:45 pm

Rich B wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:45 pm

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:40 pm
But then I wouldn't make a farty noise.

depends on your diet and how tight your rear end is...

My diet is very good and the Mini won't lift off oversteer if that helps?

As an aside, I have an interest in gut health and it was pointed out to me that a fart is actually just where you have released the combined farts of all the bacteria that live inside your gut.

What caused those to fart?

Thread of the year contender.

nuttinnew wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 7:32 pm

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:45 pm

Rich B wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:45 pm depends on your diet and how tight your rear end is...

My diet is very good and the Mini won't lift off oversteer if that helps?

As an aside, I have an interest in gut health and it was pointed out to me that a fart is actually just where you have released the combined farts of all the bacteria that live inside your gut.

What caused those to fart?

Baked beans, of course.

JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 2:52 pm

Jimmy Choo wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 1:45 pm

Rich B wrote: Thu Jul 12, 2018 12:45 pm depends on your diet and how tight your rear end is...

My diet is very good and the Mini won't lift off oversteer if that helps?

As an aside, I have an interest in gut health and it was pointed out to me that a fart is actually just where you have released the combined farts of all the bacteria that live inside your gut.

What did you think they were?!

I never really thought about it and certainly didn't think of it as a batch of second hand farts.