Randomness

[Simon]

My wife's half sister moved to America a while back. Was dating some rich dude, now is dating a sports presenter from one of the national TV networks. She loves it over there, but I think you have to have your eyes open. Deb keeps saying that if I said we should move to America then she'd start packing tonight. Frankly there's enough wackos over there that I'd rather avoid it.

My simple barometer of whether a country has a generally 'sane' populous is to just look at vaccine update rate. Canada's doing very well, so would definitely consider that. I think USA is just somewhere to visit, not live.

[dinny_g]

I work with a woman from California. Really smart, really sane, College Educated, masters degree, ‘European’ sensibilities and world view. Not U!S!A! At all

Her Dad is a leading light in the Californian Democratic Party. Her mum is a Trump supporter who wholeheartedly believes Biden stole the election, is an Anti-Vax, Open Carry NRA supporting dye in the wool republican who goes on matches every week.

Thanksgiving must be a hoot.

I just can’t fathom how the family unit works but she swears her parents are fine

[Swervin_Mervin]

Just seen this posted on PH barge thread in response to someone linking an ad for a white Passat CC and it had me creased up laughing

The problem with cars like this for me, as someone who's spent most of his life in various parts of the North West, is that they all seem to be owned by plumbers from Wigan called Jason.

For Jason, this car is his "baby". It's the car he drives when he's not driving his works van. It's all dreamt of. It's the pinnacle of his motoring life. His wife's not allowed to drive it, "it's too powerful for you, love". And yet. It's a Passat in a frock.

All week, Jason (as all plumbers in Wigan are called Jason) dreams of the time when he'll take "the beast" out at the weekend.

In his mind, Jason is James Dean in a Streetcar Named Desire. Jason's Steve McQueen in Bullitt. He's Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit.

Jason's queuing up in the Drive-Thru at KFC at an out of town retail centre, having been dragged there by his wife who wants to look at sofas in DFS.

Later, our hero will drive to his local flat roofed pub where a female vocalist who once auditioned for the X-Factor will spend the evening massacring popular songs in the name of entertainment, whilst Jason drinks his own bodyweight in premium continental lager and leers at the local girls in their nice dresses.

Later, his mate Darren the sparky will suggest making a call and despite all promises to his wife that he's not into that anymore, as Build me up Buttercup breaks down for the final time, Jason and Darren will sneak off to the toilet to snort a gram of talcum powder, cat litter and coke, promising himself that this really is the last time.

The next morning, as Jason looks at the names of his children who are tattooed onto his forearm in gothic script, he wonders what it's all for. Then he opens the window, looks out at the white Passat CC and remembers that he can escape here. He can leave the flat roofed pub and cheap marching powder behind him. It's not too late, he could be someone. Just him and his baby together. The world's their oyster. St Helens, Runcorn, Widnes, even Warrington.


Then, as CBeebies starts and the hangover kicks in, he's left grateful that the first owner specced the premium sound system. He'll need it to console himself as he goes to PineWorld to look at bedside tables that afternoon. Maybe he'll wait in the car and treat himself to a listen of his favourite playlist and dream of pastures new.


So it's a no from me.

[Beany]

A Mondeo is definitely a more honest car. A Mondeo driver doesn't kid themselves about their casual coke habit

[Simon]

[jamcg]

Just seen this posted on PH barge thread in response to someone linking an ad for a white Passat CC and it had me creased up laughing

The problem with cars like this for me, as someone who's spent most of his life in various parts of the North West, is that they all seem to be owned by plumbers from Wigan called Jason.

For Jason, this car is his "baby". It's the car he drives when he's not driving his works van. It's all dreamt of. It's the pinnacle of his motoring life. His wife's not allowed to drive it, "it's too powerful for you, love". And yet. It's a Passat in a frock.

All week, Jason (as all plumbers in Wigan are called Jason) dreams of the time when he'll take "the beast" out at the weekend.

In his mind, Jason is James Dean in a Streetcar Named Desire. Jason's Steve McQueen in Bullitt. He's Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit.

Jason's queuing up in the Drive-Thru at KFC at an out of town retail centre, having been dragged there by his wife who wants to look at sofas in DFS.

Later, our hero will drive to his local flat roofed pub where a female vocalist who once auditioned for the X-Factor will spend the evening massacring popular songs in the name of entertainment, whilst Jason drinks his own bodyweight in premium continental lager and leers at the local girls in their nice dresses.

Later, his mate Darren the sparky will suggest making a call and despite all promises to his wife that he's not into that anymore, as Build me up Buttercup breaks down for the final time, Jason and Darren will sneak off to the toilet to snort a gram of talcum powder, cat litter and coke, promising himself that this really is the last time.

The next morning, as Jason looks at the names of his children who are tattooed onto his forearm in gothic script, he wonders what it's all for. Then he opens the window, looks out at the white Passat CC and remembers that he can escape here. He can leave the flat roofed pub and cheap marching powder behind him. It's not too late, he could be someone. Just him and his baby together. The world's their oyster. St Helens, Runcorn, Widnes, even Warrington.


Then, as CBeebies starts and the hangover kicks in, he's left grateful that the first owner specced the premium sound system. He'll need it to console himself as he goes to PineWorld to look at bedside tables that afternoon. Maybe he'll wait in the car and treat himself to a listen of his favourite playlist and dream of pastures new.


So it's a no from me.

Even though I tell customers my name is Jordan I get a lot of people calling me Jason for some reason good job I’m not from Wigan

[mik]

Just seen this posted on PH barge thread in response to someone linking an ad for a white Passat CC and it had me creased up laughing

The problem with cars like this for me, as someone who's spent most of his life in various parts of the North West, is that they all seem to be owned by plumbers from Wigan called Jason.

For Jason, this car is his "baby". It's the car he drives when he's not driving his works van. It's all dreamt of. It's the pinnacle of his motoring life. His wife's not allowed to drive it, "it's too powerful for you, love". And yet. It's a Passat in a frock.

All week, Jason (as all plumbers in Wigan are called Jason) dreams of the time when he'll take "the beast" out at the weekend.

In his mind, Jason is James Dean in a Streetcar Named Desire. Jason's Steve McQueen in Bullitt. He's Burt Reynolds in Smokey and the Bandit.

Jason's queuing up in the Drive-Thru at KFC at an out of town retail centre, having been dragged there by his wife who wants to look at sofas in DFS.

Later, our hero will drive to his local flat roofed pub where a female vocalist who once auditioned for the X-Factor will spend the evening massacring popular songs in the name of entertainment, whilst Jason drinks his own bodyweight in premium continental lager and leers at the local girls in their nice dresses.

Later, his mate Darren the sparky will suggest making a call and despite all promises to his wife that he's not into that anymore, as Build me up Buttercup breaks down for the final time, Jason and Darren will sneak off to the toilet to snort a gram of talcum powder, cat litter and coke, promising himself that this really is the last time.

The next morning, as Jason looks at the names of his children who are tattooed onto his forearm in gothic script, he wonders what it's all for. Then he opens the window, looks out at the white Passat CC and remembers that he can escape here. He can leave the flat roofed pub and cheap marching powder behind him. It's not too late, he could be someone. Just him and his baby together. The world's their oyster. St Helens, Runcorn, Widnes, even Warrington.


Then, as CBeebies starts and the hangover kicks in, he's left grateful that the first owner specced the premium sound system. He'll need it to console himself as he goes to PineWorld to look at bedside tables that afternoon. Maybe he'll wait in the car and treat himself to a listen of his favourite playlist and dream of pastures new.


So it's a no from me.

Even though I tell customers my name is Jordan I get a lot of people calling me Jason for some reason good job I’m not from Wigan

Good point. Cheers Jase.

[jamcg]

This might be RAF Luton’s best work yet, the number of people believing this and posting their outrage is brilliant Even yes Cymru got fooled- they’ve now deleted their tweet though

[nuttinnew]

^

[nuttinnew]

^

[nuttinnew]

I hear this in a different light now; it's Lewis showing due respect to Helmut, Horner, & 'stappen's complaints;

[McSwede]

This might be RAF Luton’s best work yet, the number of people believing this and posting their outrage is brilliant Even yes Cymru got fooled- they’ve now deleted their tweet though

RAF Luton account is awesome. That tweet in particular caught so many angry little people. Hilarious stuff.

[nuttinnew]

ftao Northoftheborderers; fook


https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-58024296


Darkly put with (dodgy) accent;

[nuttinnew]

[Beany]

Oof. Didn't sound too healthy at the end of the clip either

[Simon]

Big ouchie! That wasn't nice. That's really gonna smart for a few days.

[jamcg]

Oof. Didn't sound too healthy at the end of the clip either

Sounds like it could be punctured lung to me, gets worse as time goes on and sounds bubbly. Definitely some sort of serious injury with that level of deceleration

No safety gear, riding a bike that’s got no pedals so is classed as a moped and requires a driving license and full motorcycle helmet to use legally. Top parents

[Zonda_]

Oof. Didn't sound too healthy at the end of the clip either

Sounds like it could be punctured lung to me, gets worse as time goes on and sounds bubbly. Definitely some sort of serious injury with that level of deceleration

No safety gear, riding a bike that’s got no pedals so is classed as a moped and requires a driving license and full motorcycle helmet to use legally. Top parents

Look at the spikes on the roof and the shit in the garden, possibly not the best of neighbourhoods...

[nuttinnew]

Oof. Didn't sound too healthy at the end of the clip either

Sounds like it could be punctured lung to me, gets worse as time goes on and sounds bubbly. Definitely some sort of serious injury with that level of deceleration

No safety gear, riding a bike that’s got no pedals so is classed as a moped and requires a driving license and full motorcycle helmet to use legally. Top parents

Look at the spikes on the roof and the shit in the garden, possibly not the best of neighbourhoods...

Ask Beany, his car's parked over the road.


I'm not a doctor but that gate's fucked.

[Jimmy Choo]

Oof. Didn't sound too healthy at the end of the clip either

Sounds like it could be punctured lung to me, gets worse as time goes on and sounds bubbly. Definitely some sort of serious injury with that level of deceleration

No safety gear, riding a bike that’s got no pedals so is classed as a moped and requires a driving license and full motorcycle helmet to use legally. Top parents

Look at the spikes on the roof and the shit in the garden, possibly not the best of neighbourhoods...

Was he riding in his pajamas, with a buzz cut and a less than healthy diet? He's probably lucky that he hit the gate rather than the wall.