OV9

Hits hard doesn't it?

A few years ago in the last company I worked for one of the sales guys took his life. Knocked all of us in the sales team for six. Lovely bloke. Never would've guessed he'd struggled with mental health issues. Left a wife and a little boy.

Then a year or so ago our old UKI head died. Again. Smashing guy, great leader. Unconventional but inspirational. Knew everyone in the building and made sure to walk the floor when he arrived in the morning to shake everyone's hand and greet them personally. He missed noone out.

Now I've just learnt from my brother that a girl I used to work with died last week. He didn't know how but a quick search shows she was murdered and it's been picked up nationally, but of course hidden with all the Iran war stuff. They've already arrested and charged someone so looks hopefully there'll be some justice but why is it always the nice kind people that are taken from us too quickly? The world is not fair.

Sorry just needed to get it out there. RIP J.

Sorry to hear all of that. It sucks, no two ways about it.

Don’t ever apologise to us Simon. We get it and understand.

I lost my mentor, a great work colleague and then my Godmother in a very short space of time. All three were sudden violent deaths - lightening strike, plane crash and car crash. It knocked me for 6 and I’ll be honest, I’m still not over it, especially my mentor. He was the only person who was universally supportive of me who didn’t have to be. Family have to be, He chose to be and there’s still a hole in my being since he’s gone.

Keep talking about it, about them, is all I can say. You know that but it’s really important. Even if it’s here. Please do..

Take care buddy

That's shitty. Condolences.

Simon wrote: Thu Mar 12, 2026 8:00 pm Hits hard doesn't it?

I think it would be sad if it didn't. Condolences....It just feels even more tragic when they're nice folks or if young family are involved.

As Dinny mentioned, this is a great place to talk about it. Like most blokes I'm sure many of us struggle talking openly to friends about this sometimes, and social media isn't always the place either.

Not sure I'd go as far to call this a safe space mind - remember half the people here are the reason they shut the old forum down

Sorry to hear that Simon, it really does hurt to lose someone, a friend, a colleague for sure. Especially the unexpected ones, or the sudden ones. I was always surprised at how close and attached I was to colleagues, yet it was something I only ever realised it in retrospect, after leaving a company when those people were gone. Sending my best man hugs to you.

I can't remember where I heard it but the saying that...

People die twice, once when their heart stops and then when people stop talking about them.

If they had a positive impact, they need to still be talked about, it eventually outweighs the sadness and makes remembering them happy again.

Dave!

One of my close colleagues lost her younger brother a couple of weeks ago. He was in his mid-50s and had a sudden seizure, was taken to hospital where they diagnosed a brain haemhorrage and he was transferred to a specialist hospital where they operated but he never woke up. From perfectly fine to gone within the week. It can't help but affect you.

Sorry to hear that

I've noticed as I get older dying enters my thoughts more often. I'm sixty next year and I'll be honest, it's pretty daunting that I'm entering the last quarter of my life

I need to buy that Caterham ASAP!

John wrote: Fri Mar 13, 2026 12:50 pm I need to buy that Caterham ASAP!

You know we'll support you in that decision, whatever mental or financial gymnasitcs you need to justify it

When you say support, you do mean to help me get in and out of it?

Sorry to read this.

Its a cliche but your health really is the most important thing and you take it for granted until you're unwell.

In my family, I’m the youngest in my generation by quite a long way, so I’ve experienced quite a lot of loss, earliest been my dad who passed when he was 51 and I was 11.

Most recent was my best mate from school who died in may last year, aged just 39. He was suffering with primary progressive ms and his heart stopped while he was asleep

My phone keeps popping up memory photos of him every now and then, sometimes catching you off guard and it throws you back into a bit of the raw grief again, but slowly it’s starting to turn from that feeling to being able to remember the happy story behind the photos, one of the good things about modern technology is that it makes it easier to remember people, I have that thing where you can’t picture someone’s face in your mind- I can visualise silhouettes and basic things like hair colour and style but not facial features, so it’s getting to be almost quite comforting when they flag up

It’s nice to be able to have a space where you can speak of these things in a shared experience environment, sometimes its almost easier to post to people on the internet than talk about it in person. Look after yourselves everyone

Sorry for everyone’s losses.

We lost a mate two weeks ago. 50 years old. Real cool guy, the life and soul. No idea how yet but suspected heart attack. Just gone, in an instant.

It hits home. I’m always in a constant state of planning for the future.

This is a great place to just write it all out. I am very lucky to have friends who I can speak to about pretty much anything, but having this place to just lay it all out is fantastic.

It is hard enough when it is a parent and they have lived into their 80s, but someone young (relatively so) is so much more of a punch in the heart.

As otyhers have said, never need to apologise, we might all be cnuts but when it counts we are, as we Scots say, "Guid Cnuts".