OV9

I don't eat a piece of toast 1mm at a time - I take bites. I'm therefore generally satisfied with around 90% butter surface coverage, on the basis that it will even out in my gob - hence I won't notice any dry bits. The time saved buttering results in warmer toast at the point of consumption.

Mrs mik does not subscribe to this concept however - 100% surface coverage is a necessity, including crusts . In pursuit of "happy wife = happy life" I have had to adapt my approach over the years. Bah.

I was pondering this subject this morning.....

Toast should be buttered to the edge for full 100% coverage.

If the butter is too hard, scrape off slivers and leave on slice 1 to melt slightly, then repeat on slice 2, then to back to complete the buttering of slice 1 etc.

And it 100% absolutely, I don't care about your cholesterol or what the doctor says about your heart, MUST be Butter - Kerrygold is the best

Far more important than the the butter coverage percentage, is the marmalade coverage, which must be more than 100%.

Depends what else is going on the toast.. I don’t put any of scrambled eggs on etc, and light covering with marmalade..

Can the Poll-Lord confirm if the question relates to "Making toast to eat on it's own" or the more general "Toast, no matter what the use" ??

(My answer still stands either way though)

100% coverage. You can tell a lot by how a person butters their toast.

dinny_g wrote: Fri Oct 03, 2025 11:25 am Can the Poll-Lord confirm if the question relates to "Making toast to eat on it's own" or the more general "Toast, no matter what the use" ??

(My answer still stands either way though)

As your answer will not change - no - I can’t.

Does 100% coverage mean buttering both sides?

God no...

Just re-resting Poll Lord's initial description, does your wife butter the sides of the bread ?

I may need to do another poll, as cheese-on-toast has just popped into my head, and I suspect many of you wrongun's aren't following the CORRECT process (as outlined below) for that either.

> Grille ONE side of the bread until brown and toasty (to your preferred level)
> Apply cheese (sliced rather than grated - for consistent density and thickness) directly to the un-toasted side of the bread, leaving a slight border to minimise the risk of melty-overflow. Grind some pepper on there - salt not required.
> Re-introduce to grille - cheese side up guys - until said cheese is fully melted, and the exposed bread border has toasted (to your preferred level).
> Remove from grille and cut each slice in half, as you are not a savage. The cut may be in the direction of your choice, but diagonal tastes best - of course.
> Repeatedly insert into your face until no cheese-on-toast remains. Chewing is recommended, but is optional and may be minimised : hunger level dependant.

That is 100% the correct way to make a cheese toastie...

Cap doffed ...

To save time thought, I pop both slices into the same toaster slot to toast on one side, then continue with the Grill process

It is all about the μ as we want it slippery in the mouth but not too wet on our fingers

Just make toasties in a frying pan. Far less faff.

I don’t really eat toast with anything but peanut butter but it’s a liberal coating of that with a wee sprinkle of salt.

i’ll often leave the corners free of butter to allow me to hold it without getting buttery fingers. i’m still up for 90-95% coverage though.

Given that this place is basically a low-level autism self-help group I'm not surprised that 100% coverage is streaking into the lead

Rich B wrote: Fri Oct 03, 2025 12:45 pm i’ll often leave the corners free of butter to allow me to hold it without getting buttery fingers. i’m still up for 90-95% coverage though.

So many things wrong in this thread, bit I'll start here.

Surely you just hold it on crust edges? Or do you have Beadle hand and need to pincer it?

Rich reaching for the toast:

Gavster wrote: Fri Oct 03, 2025 1:10 pm Given that this place is basically a low-level autism self-help group I'm not surprised that 100% coverage is streaking into the lead

Matty wrote: Fri Oct 03, 2025 1:13 pm do you have Beadle hand and need to pincer it?

Jeremy Beadle had a really small p3n1s.

But on the other hand, it was quite big.

Matty wrote: Fri Oct 03, 2025 1:13 pm

Rich B wrote: Fri Oct 03, 2025 12:45 pm i’ll often leave the corners free of butter to allow me to hold it without getting buttery fingers. i’m still up for 90-95% coverage though.

So many things wrong in this thread, bit I'll start here.

Surely you just hold it on crust edges? Or do you have Beadle hand and need to pincer it?

Rich reaching for the toast:

That film was so bad. that scene is fucking hilarious though!

in the spirit of overthinking basic things, i guess there’s an element of how/if you cut the toast. With a straight/no cut, it would be simple to hold on the vertical crust edges because they are parallel to easier to hold betwixt finger and thumb.

however, with a diagonal cut, the edges are perpendicular so not as easily held on just the vertical edges. i quite like the presentation of a diagonal cut.

Has to be 100% butter, no spread bollocks.

100% coverage and thick.

Dave!