Bottom Gear Rally Report

[Jobbo]

That was a great day. Really nice to meet you at last, SJ, and to see you again Gav and Jon.

I’ll do a proper write-up tomorrow but suffice to say, a sunny day in the Cotswolds was a very convivial way to go rallying. Quite the contrast to rainy November.

Good to have a trophy as well

[Gavster]

Congrats on the trophy guys!

[Jimmy Choo]

Good darts!

[Mito Man]

Looks like a great day out

[Carlos]

Looking forward to some pics, sounds great fun

[Jobbo]

What a beautiful sunny day it was in the Cotswolds. Since it's more local for me, I arrived first and tried to sign on - I failed due to not having a car, but Jon arrived at that moment. The scrutineers seemed quite fussy; you'd think they'd be pretty consistent across events but there's always something. Yellow electrical tape and black gaffer tape were Jon's toolbox essentials. At least there was no problem getting the numbers to stick to the car, unlike at Rushmoor.

Kemble had been slightly prepared for the event by mowing either side of the main tarmac, but clearly not the area which Steve and Jon had previously used as paddock because the grass there was way too long. Jon said he hadn't even washed the Fabia since Rushmoor last November, so the passenger seat harness was obviously still adjusted for me (helpful). Steve turned up with a gazebo which was pretty useful in the unrelenting sun.



There were 6 tests, none of them to be run in the dark this time. Since Steve and Gav were both driving s they went out before Jon and me and again after Jon and me on each test; we were able to have a fairly relaxed day but they had far less time to take a break between sessions. One of the start line marshalls said we were relaxed; I certainly was in the co-driver seat. Must have had the same sort of breakfast as Nicky Grist.

Jon and I did walk over to view the cars before us in the first test and saw every other car, including Steve, having fun with cone number 41 - the positioning just was not intuitive for the driver. Having that knowledge we knew to keep an eye open for it and I gave my instructions to Jon twice; he didn't pick up any penalties all day so I think he memorised the course each time more than relying on my instructions After the first test, I checked the online results and we appeared to be first in class - however, I checked before the second drivers had done their runs and we were beaten by 15s by a chap in an MG ZR. He then beat us by over 20s on the second test. Frustratingly he was on similar pace to us in the afternoon, when the double-drivers (like Steve and Gav) had to swap order; clearly by navigating first each time in the morning he had an advantage on his run as driver on the same course.

Quite an interesting collection of vehicles competing - a fair few old Vauxhalls (Astras and Novas) and even an Adam, a couple of mk1 Escorts and one mk2, a couple of mk1 Focuses - but no new shape Minis oddly.



First test I tried a new system of using red and green pens to write out the cone numbers to show which side of the car they should be. Before I'd finished writing down the whole stage I realised it was useless and gave up. I relied on the course map and didn't make any markings on it, which went pretty smoothly; unlike Rushmoor there were PC points marked (Passage Control, I think) where you have to stop and get the marshalls to sign your card before continuing, so Jon's clipboard was perfect; I whacked it onto the window sill and the marshalls could sign without any faffing. Could do with a second clipboard to hold the stage map though If it had been a wet day, having the window open throughout would have been less pleasant of course.

Kemble is the location of Cotswolds Airport where passenger jets go to be stored or stripped once they leave service so you get some interesting views lining up to start:



Second test, I tried to call the cone numbers more helpfully to Jon but that didn't work so after that we reverted to a simple system of which side of the cone he needed to be, with a few additional calls for hairpins and tight turns. Due to the layout of Kemble there were some sections which were basically the same throughout the day so I concentrated on getting the tight bits and particularly awkward cones 34 and 41 right while Jon was able to get a rhythm going and a bit of a drift on. Calling the PC points was pretty important too; from the second test they started to be placed more awkwardly round a tight corner making them much easier to miss.

As co-driver it was pretty calm despite Kemble including a couple of particularly nasty surface changes; I saw an MX5 pop its tyre on one and have to finish most of the test with one flat, and I saw a couple of Fiestas suffer (one flat tyre, one damage from underneath). I'm sure plenty more did, those were just the ones near us in the paddock. I smacked my elbow on the cage fairly early on so made sure I kept my arms closer in from that point and had no further issues.

Not one of us:


As usual, some of the tests are done in a reverse direction. In the afternoon an extra cone was added - without a number - to mark a right turn which thoroughly confused me when we got to it because it looked like we were just driving towards a wall of cones. Jon got us through that. It was just as confusing the second time because the route we went down simply looked like part of the grass.

More cars lined up for the start later in the day:


Jon managed the same time as the class leader on the first test after lunch - one of the longer tests of the day - and we looked fairly comfortable as second in class because the 5th and 6th tests were both a bit shorter, so not much chance to pull back the 30s gap the leader had. Steve mentioned the overall standings (Steve and Gav being in a different class to us due to engine size) so with just a 3s gap to the car above us in the overall standings after test 5, could we make up a place on the final test? Yes, we could - but not by overtaking the chap above us. Someone in an Astra GTE who was well ahead got a substantial penalty on the final test (wrong side of 3 cones) - he would have been faster than us on track but he picked up 7 penalties over the 6 tests Tortoise and the hare...



So we picked up a trophy each for second in class Jon earned it, not sure I did, but it was a great day again.

And for completeness, here are the support crew cars (Maserati not in shot):

[Gavster]

Nice write up Jobbo

Steve and I were thinking last night how the passage control sections are an opportunity to save a lot of time. When considering the whole process of judging the braking distance to come to a halt, then rolling forwards to the marshall, plus the time it takes hand them the sheet to sign, it would be very easy to take 1 or 2 seconds longer than necessary. Multiply that by 4x PCs per session and again by 6x sessions in a day, and you've got 30-60 seconds of the day's total time, which would make a big difference in the final rankings, simply by being super sharp and fast at the PCs.

If anyone's ever tempted to have a go at one of these rallies I'd highly recommend it, such a good laugh to chuck a car around like a lunatic without fear of being black-flagged or hitting anything else.

On a lap early in the day I overcooked it on a long wide corner on a loose, dusty part of the course. Before we started, Steve had said "if you spin, don't worry, just keep spinning until you're facing the right way again". So when the back-end had gone beyond the point of saving, I remembered those words, mashed the throttle and kept it going through a full 360º donut and continued the lap without stopping. Also happened to be on the corner where the course photographer was, so might provide some lol photos

[GG.]

This sounds pretty epic. Certainly more fun in the summer sun than on a wet winter weekend!

I'm sure there a joke in there about Steve's impressive erection also

[Jobbo]

Well, it was Gav and me who got it up for Steve

[Sundayjumper]

...judging the braking distance to come to a halt, then rolling forwards to the marshall, plus the time it takes hand them the sheet to sign...

That's a famous quote isn't it ? "it's not about going fast in the fast bits, it's about going fast in the slow bits"

The passage controls are a great example of that. Going fast (signing the sheet) when you're in fact stationary.

[Gavster]

Jobbo was pretty good at handling a rigid pole, even if he had trouble reaching the top of it

[Jobbo]

The first pole I touched was a bit bent but after that I soon got them smooth from base to tip.

[mik]

Jobbo was pretty good at handling a rigid pole, even if he had trouble reaching the top of it

[JonMad]

...judging the braking distance to come to a halt, then rolling forwards to the marshall, plus the time it takes hand them the sheet to sign...

That's a famous quote isn't it ? "it's not about going fast in the fast bits, it's about going fast in the slow bits"

The passage controls are a great example of that. Going fast (signing the sheet) when you're in fact stationary.

On the later tests I started holding the car on the handbrake with some revs on, ready to go as soon as the Marshall lifted their pen.

[Gavster]

...judging the braking distance to come to a halt, then rolling forwards to the marshall, plus the time it takes hand them the sheet to sign...

That's a famous quote isn't it ? "it's not about going fast in the fast bits, it's about going fast in the slow bits"

The passage controls are a great example of that. Going fast (signing the sheet) when you're in fact stationary.

On the later tests I started holding the car on the handbrake with some revs on, ready to go as soon as the Marshall lifted their pen.

I noticed that some of the Marshalls signed the slips as if it was going to explode

[Mito Man]

So you regularly have to stop, hand over a piece of paper for the marshal to sign and then continue on your rally all the while the admin paperwork side of things is included as part of your time?

[Jobbo]

So you regularly have to stop, hand over a piece of paper for the marshal to sign and then continue on your rally all the while the admin paperwork side of things is included as part of your time?

Yes. And on some tests there was also a Stop-Go where you had to come to a complete halt, drive forward a few feet, wait for 5 seconds (with a lollipop held in front of you) and then go again, but no signing of your card. No time wasted through dodgy paperwork, unlike the Brexit, sorry Passage Control marshalls.

[Jobbo]

Oh what timing - the photo proofs have arrived. Not got the full res ones yet but here's a sampler showing how efficient we were at the Passage Controls

[Mito Man]

How random!

[JonMad]

I think it’s because the event is treated as a Road Rally so some of the things from actual road rallies are used, like code boards you need to write down (note that they were used here) or passage control check points you need to go through, to prove you went the correct route.