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What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:21 pm
by mik
Whether to live off the royalties and spend your precious time doing something more... precious... than working. Or as a legacy. Or whateveh.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:23 pm
by duncs500
Lying obviously, life would be a breeze if nobody else had thought of it.

Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:30 pm
by tim
Polls.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:30 pm
by Rich B
It would be called the RichBweb.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:41 pm
by scotta
Amazon.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:52 pm
by Jobbo
Listening to a podcast earlier, there was a reference to the inventor of the infinite scroll. Before that you had to click to get to the next page on a website. I bet that inventor does not make much in royalties.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:55 pm
by Beany
Jobbo wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:52 pm
Listening to a podcast earlier, there was a reference to the inventor of the infinite scroll. Before that you had to click to get to the next page on a website. I bet that inventor does not make much in royalties.
I got no royalties for the PageFlipThang so that sounds about right.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:12 pm
by Mito Man
Faster than light travel
Nuclear fusion
Perpetual Motion
Jesus
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:27 pm
by jamcg
scotta wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:41 pmAmazon.
This. So much of this
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:39 pm
by ZedLeg
jamcg wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:27 pm
scotta wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:41 pmAmazon.
This. So much of this
Yeah, I’ve always wanted to ruin the world to make buying things a little more convenient

Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 6:18 pm
by jamcg
ZedLeg wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:39 pm
jamcg wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 5:27 pm
scotta wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 4:41 pmAmazon.
This. So much of this
Yeah, I’ve always wanted to ruin the world to make buying things a little more convenient
But if you had his money you could always have a cry about it whilst drying your eyes with $100 bills and wiping your arse with misprinted copies of Harry Potter
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 6:22 pm
by ZedLeg
He has his money and it doesn’t look like it’s making him happy. He looks like a walking divorce.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 6:26 pm
by Beany
ZedLeg wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 6:22 pm
He has his money and it doesn’t look like it’s making him happy. He looks like a walking divorce.
He looks like a living flaccid penis.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 7:56 pm
by Gavster
I wish I'd invented ice cream vans, so that I could rip the fucking Greensleeves chimes out of every one that was ever built, especially the one that pulls up outside my house each night.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:39 pm
by mik
Gavster wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 7:56 pm
I wish I'd invented ice cream vans, so that I could rip the fucking Greensleeves chimes out of every one that was ever built, especially the one that pulls up outside my house each night.
I worked on an ice cream van as an early teen. The driver had a seat. I had a bottle crate to sit on - sans seat belt or any other restraint - on the floor beside a big downwards-pointing horn that the chimes came out of.
After 9pm - respecting noise pollution - we had to revert to a whistle instead. Blowing the whistle out of the open hatch window as we drew towards the stop was my job. I can confirm that this task is far from easy when you’ve just stuffed a handful of foam bananas into your gob whilst the driver (aka owner) was busy manuouvering.

Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:51 pm
by Mito Man
How much cocaine did you sell?
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 9:08 pm
by jamcg
And how much was a single cigarette
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 9:13 pm
by Gavster
At one of my first jobs out of uni, there was a tradition that the first person to hear the ice cream van chimes had to shout "PAEDO" to alert everyone it was ice cream time.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 9:25 pm
by mik
Mito Man wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 8:51 pm
How much cocaine did you sell?
I was sweet, innocent, and naive.
Re: What do you wish you had invented?
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2022 9:26 pm
by mik
jamcg wrote: Mon Aug 08, 2022 9:08 pm
And how much was a single cigarette
Owner of our van would only sell full packs. All the vans were independently run, so a couple of mates who were also “van boys” on a different run sold singles. No idea how much - see above.