OV9

At least in my mind I was and still am the suave Mr Clooney, as seen in Ocean's 11 as I expertly broke in to our safe last night. Mrs Mike doesn't agree - something to do with me wailing on a safe with a sledgehammer last night while swearing like a docker. Went for the angle grinder, but of course I couldn't find any discs while stumbling around in the dark.

Ah yes, the dark. Turns out I was the only adult capable of investigating why the safe wouldn't open a couple of weeks ago - we assumed it just needed new batteries so when I was asked last night at about half ten if I'd got the safe working because she absolutely, positively needed stuff out of it for this morning.....

End result was this.



This POS cheap keypad was the culprit.



Turns out, if you're looking to buy a Yale Fire Safe, bear in mind that of the two key functions of a safe:

1. Keep stuff safe.
2. Allow access to your stuff.

The Yale Fire safe will #1 ok, but will fail miserably on point #2. This keypad will definitely fail to work at some point in its life. Not in the first few weeks or months when you write your glowing 5 star review on Amazon, but it will fail and has been the same part they've used for 5 years+, knowing its a cheap, unreliable POS.

Yale helpfully have a master code they can give you, but that's useless if it includes any numbers from the faulty buttons. Their next solution? Call a locksmith and pay for it yourself loser.

First off, definitely need the pictures sorted so we can see the destruction.

Secondly, was what the wife wanted
A: in there
B: actually that important

Thirdly, do NOT go looking at LockpickingLawyer on YouTube in case he opens that date in thirty seconds with a magnet and a slap....

Beany wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:08 pm First off, definitely need the pictures sorted so we can see the destruction.

Secondly, was what the wife wanted
A: in there
B: actually that important

Thirdly, do NOT go looking at LockpickingLawyer on YouTube in case he opens that date in thirty seconds with a magnet and a slap....

Don't worry, I spent a good 40 minutes bouncing the safe upside down on my knee like a toddler, trying to get the solenoid to drop so I could open it. I didn't have a magnet handy and on this safe people had very poor results with them. And I tried a lot of dropping it while trying to open it as well.

It was vaccination passports for the horses who were getting jags today so need stamped, just like a car logbook. And they were the MOST URGENT THINGS EVER. Could the vet have stamped them next time they were out? For sure.

Could they have been posted to the vets to stamp? Yes.

But, you know....

Ours has a “hidden” backup key (behind a decal) for if/when this happens.

This is specifically fitted in order that the lockpickinglawyer can access the contents in around 15seconds.

mik wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:18 pm Ours has a “hidden” backup key (behind a decal) for if/when this happens.

This is specifically fitted in order that the lockpickinglawyer can access the contents in around 15seconds.

They have a useful battery terminal in case the batteries run out, but when the actual numeric buttons stop working, you're shit out of luck. Amazon reviews are glowing, but when you go back a bit its all just people warning you that the keypad will fail at some point.

Bloody hell

Ascender wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:13 pm

It was vaccination passports for the horses who were getting jags today so need stamped, just like a car logbook.

Surely you have a shit drawer for that sort of stuff?

It always amazes me how many people have safes in their houses. Usuaally when I'm reading about them being robbed by machete wielding gangs in the early hours*

*maybe that's just round here though

Swervin_Mervin wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:42 pm
It always amazes me how many people have safes in their houses. Usuaally when I'm reading about them being robbed by machete wielding gangs in the early hours*

Ours was a gift from my parents yeeeeeeeears ago. And we were like “oh. Erm. Thanks very much”.

We have to keep something in it.

Swervin_Mervin wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:42 pm

Ascender wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:13 pm

It was vaccination passports for the horses who were getting jags today so need stamped, just like a car logbook.

Surely you have a shit drawer for that sort of stuff?

It always amazes me how many people have safes in their houses. Usuaally when I'm reading about them being robbed by machete wielding gangs in the early hours*

*maybe that's just round here though

Yeah, I think we bought one as a "company asset" a few years ago, but we also discussed last night how disappointing any burglars would be if they stole the safe, broke in to it and discovered a small box with some baby teeth in it. I shit you not. I did not know they were in the safe.

Ascender wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:50 pm we also discussed last night how disappointing any burglars would be if they stole the safe, broke in to it and discovered a small box with some baby teeth in it.

You should just get them made into some jewellery.

Like normal people.

I saw the pictures and my first thought was Jonmad had been trying to fix something again!

I don't know if I'm extremely careless or just normal. Was talking to my mate yesterday who was just walking to his safety deposit box to pick up some documents. £300 a year it costs. I was like, erm, seems a bit extreme but apparently I should reconsider what would happen to my valuable documents if my flat caught fire.

mik wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:55 pm

Ascender wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:50 pm we also discussed last night how disappointing any burglars would be if they stole the safe, broke in to it and discovered a small box with some baby teeth in it.

You should just get them made into some jewellery.

Like normal people.

Was just about to tuck into some lovely pasta and you've ruined it you bastard.

mik wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 12:55 pm
You should just get them made into some jewellery.

Like normal people.

"She punched me in the face and left bite marks, officer! No, I've not been drinking."

If you were truly Danny Ocean you'd have a split screen showing the safe perfectly intact next to those images

I think I'd have googled methods of getting into that safe (e.g. LockpickingLawyer) before smashing it to shit.

Funnily I ordered a practice lock and picks yesterday to have a go at it. I've watched enough LPL videos now - can't be that hard...

Jobbo wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 1:18 pm If you were truly Danny Ocean you'd have a split screen showing the safe perfectly intact next to those images

I think I'd have googled methods of getting into that safe (e.g. LockpickingLawyer) before smashing it to shit.

I did toy with having the JunkieXL "Little Less Conversation" playing while doing it, but the effect would have been lessened by the fact it would have been on repeat for about an hour before I got in to it.

I did the whole googling bit and spent some time on the methods but none of them worked unfortunately and then a bit of me was interested to see if I could get in to it (albeit I know a fire safe isn't designed to be mega-secure).

Rich B wrote: Thu Mar 10, 2022 1:27 pm Funnily I ordered a practice lock and picks yesterday to have a go at it. I've watched enough LPL videos now - can't be that hard...

We did that during lockdown too!

And of course, as we've opened the doorway to baby teeth, I have to post this as a reminder of the absolute horror of young children.