OV9

Today we're having a network issue. We've sent a message out to everyone telling them we're aware and what's affected and that we're fixing it.

Cue lots of people wandering over:

"I can't print"
"Did you see the message about network issues, that says printers are affected?"
"Yes"

And:

"Can anyone help me change the font in Word?"
"Everyone is busy fixing the network problems right now, someone will come and help you when we're free"
"But I need this NOW!"

And:

User who types with 1 finger and struggles with the coffee machine, who is currently struggling to make a phone call and looks like this may be the first time he's ever even seen a phone: "I don't know why we bought such a complicated system"

"We didn't, you just type the number on the keypad and press the picture of a green phone handset"

My friend works for a rather large retail company and gets similar requests. Asked her how they hired people and she said management decided to save time by no longer conducting interviews and just going to the local Job Centre. Serves them fucking right!

What job do you do again? Apart from Parental Money Reduction Device?

Window licker.

Pays well yeah?

Scott might like to know that our network issue was caused by a firewall problem. We managed to do a production change in a few minutes

Drove all the way over to Oxford this evening to look at a litter of kittens. The woman on the phone sounded plausible...Litter from her own cat, carefully chosen sire, six kittens all well handled and used to kids/dogs.... the pics were very nice...

When I got there I was confronted by two hard-faced pikey slags who slammed a terrified looking moggie kitten (not as pictured) down on the kitchen counter.

I asked where the mother was they said.. 'just take it or leave it'....

I left it.

Poor cats.

evostick wrote: Wed Dec 12, 2018 9:29 pm Drove all the way over to Oxford this evening to look at a litter of kittens. The woman on the phone sounded plausible...Litter from her own cat, carefully chosen sire, six kittens all well handled and used to kids/dogs.... the pics were very nice...

When I got there I was confronted by two hard-faced pikey slags who slammed a terrified looking moggie kitten (not as pictured) down on the kitchen counter.

I asked where the mother was they said.. 'just take it or leave it'....

I left it.

..And please report it too.

Poor kitten.

Insurance got back to me yesterday about the crash, got told to accept partial blame . Hate lying pricks.

Alex_ wrote: Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:37 am Insurance got back to me yesterday about the crash, got told to accept partial blame . Hate lying pricks.

You don't have to do as they say.

Dave is a very polite version of Zack de la Rocha.

JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:17 am Dave is a very polite version of Zack de la Rocha.

Disgruntlement Against the Machine

Did my SAC last night. There were lots of "people" in that.

NotoriousREV wrote: Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:19 am

JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:17 am Dave is a very polite version of Zack de la Rocha.

Disgruntlement Against the Machine

Atadmiffed Against The Machine

Swervin_Mervin wrote: Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:28 am Did my SAC last night. There were lots of "people" in that.

A few million at a time, I'd imagine.

Get well soon.

Dismayed at the General State of the Machine

Really Quite Peeved Against The Machine

Flip off I won't do what you ask me.