Your fleet running reports

[DeskJockey]

Galaxy spent a day with an auto electrician. Only code was one for the dash losing connection to the radio. He took centre console apart, checked all the connections and gave it some contact cleaner stuff. Been behaving itself since. Fingers crossed that's all that needs doing. Really don't need an extra bill at the moment, as the bathroom refurb is swallowing most of what we've got.

[ste]

UPDATE


E46 330d Sport Touring Manual

For sells. Although only on Northloop at the moment as I still need it for another week or so.

E53 X5 4.8is

8 years after buying my last e53 I've bought another. It's a 4.8is that looks to have lead a charmed life until recently being subject to the attention of a chav knobhead. So it was cheap-ish for one, but it needs an amount of rescuing. The seller was a fucking moron and I did well to get away from his house without calling him a cunt to his face.

I drove off and got all of 50 miles before it broke down, a dead alternator and no charge.



An RAC patrol-man came and gave it enough juice for me to start it and drive it off the motorway and then it got recovered back to Sussex.



So in the cold light of day, what have I bought? Well it's got an extensive service history, in the last year it had £1700 spent on 1 service including the timing chain, rocker gaskets, one of the air suspension struts and the air controller. And it all seems to work well and it drove fantastically before it broke down. It's got a load of options my silver one didn't have including panoramic roof, heated rear seats, dynamic (steering) bi-xenons and the bits that were most important to me, detachable towbar, no side-steps and comfort seats. However it's a chavvy looking thing.

Someone's painted the grille black. Badly. The lights need a polish and it needs a new bonnet badge.



The steering wheel is really badly worn at the top. I wonder if it could even be from a Disklok it's so bad and so focused in that area. The driver's bolster is also fucked. The rest of the interior is in really good condition though. No damage or scratched plastics.



The wheels have been painted a horrific grey colour, it has tints that are much too dark and the rear lights are weird smoked things. It also has some odd rear camber going on which makes the wheels look like the offset's wrong and they're sat in too far. It also has a properly chav-tastic exhaust. It's a full stainless system and actually sounds quite good, the exhaust tips are absolutely shit though. However the paint is good and underneath the tat there's a nice car.



I gave it a first appraisal and whilst looking at the lights noticed that they appeared to actually be painted. An exploratory scrape with a razorblade confirmed that some tosser has painted them dark grey.



So I can cross replacement OEM rear lights off my shopping list but have added the task of removing the paint from them to my list of jobs.

I've booked it in with my friendly local garage to have the alternator done next Monday and he's going to investigate the rear camber too and change any bushes that need doing. While it's there I'm going to get him to do an oil service too and stamp the book.

The rest of my list is looking like this:

Jobs:

- Swap numberplates
- Remove X5 badge from boot
- Refurb headlights
- Remove paint from rear lights
- Wheel refurb in original silver
- Steering wheel re-trim with M tri-colour stitching
- Gear and handbrake gaiter to match wheel
- Seat bolster retrim
- Exhaust tips changed for 4 x straight pipes
- Tints (remove / replace)


Shopping:

- Spacers: 25mm front 30mm rear
- Lowering links for air suspension
- Big foam filter
- Standard front griille
- Bonnet badge
- Change stereo for one with Carplay etc. (Dynavin N7?)

I'm off to Bruges at the end of Feb and I'd quite like to get it done by then so I can drive this there.

[Rich B]

Just the wheels and lights will have it looking a million times better. Some people just have no fucking clue!

[JLv3.0]

I'm still struggling with the mentality of the mumbloid who goes "gor blimey dem smoked lights r da bomb innit I'll make sum wiv me own paint bruv"

[NotoriousREV]

Is it actual paint or some sort of special light paint? Both are stupid but one is slightly more forgivable than the other.

[Mito Man]

It’s paint applied by a special person.

[JLv3.0]

Mate of mine staying with me has dropped the Audi off at the paint shop for me, and confirmed that I'm a "fucking idiot" for spending the money and effort on getting it resprayed - always good to hear

Almost finished:

When I get back to Dubai I can crack on with getting the boat registered - I still haven't been able to use it once since I bought it!

I finally knocked over this rather longstanding obstacle yesterday - it's all mine now "Maiden" voyage on the weekend, ignoring that I've had it since 2008

[ste]

Is it actual paint or some sort of special light paint? Both are stupid but one is slightly more forgivable than the other.

Looks like actual paint. I'd hazard a quess it's the same turgid grey they've painted the wheels in, thinned down.

[GG.]

There's no picture of the wheels side on in the daylight so hard to accurately assess but I've seen much worse!! What mileage and how much $$$ out of interest?

I need to get a picture of the L322 range rover that I pass on the way to the tip that has all matte black surfaces chromed

[NotoriousREV]

Is it actual paint or some sort of special light paint? Both are stupid but one is slightly more forgivable than the other.

Looks like actual paint. I'd hazard a quess it's the same turgid grey they've painted the wheels in, thinned down.

Amazing. I can't believe I share the same species as people who think painting over their lights is a good idea.

[Jobbo]

I really like the E53 X5 4.8is - when I last looked, they either looked knackered or like yours, Ste, so I guess the way to buy one is to put up with dubious mods and revert them once it's yours.

Is it a water-cooled alternator? Think that's a thing on V8 BMWs, but possibly just the 7-series.

[GG.]

Is it actual paint or some sort of special light paint? Both are stupid but one is slightly more forgivable than the other.

Looks like actual paint. I'd hazard a quess it's the same turgid grey they've painted the wheels in, thinned down.

Amazing. I can't believe I share the same species as people who think painting over their lights is a good idea.

There's a good argument that H. sapiens neanderthalensis are the same species (merely a sub-species) as H. sapiens (sapiens) so you're correct in your assumption regarding the specific knuckledragger in question.

[ste]

I really like the E53 X5 4.8is - when I last looked, they either looked knackered or like yours, Ste, so I guess the way to buy one is to put up with dubious mods and revert them once it's yours.

Is it a water-cooled alternator? Think that's a thing on V8 BMWs, but possibly just the 7-series.

No, luckily not a water cooled one; The 4.6is does have though.

There are some tired ones in the market, but also over the time I've been looking some very nice examples have popped up. I've seen 3 low mileage cars (~50k) pop up over the last month, 2 of which were being offered by their original owners. One hasn't met reserve on eBay twice despite the bids getting quite high. One has been offered for £11.5k. I'd argue they're almost entering modern classic status.

For me, I like the size V usability. The E53 feels noticably smaller than the E70 and later X5s, yet still seats 3 in the back in comfort and will still tow 2300kgs, so pretty much any good trailer and trackcar with loads of headroom. I'd forgotten how much smaller the boot was then the E70's. One key goal of the E70 was to add the 3rd row seats so it grew significantly in that dimension. The E53 boot is much shorter. Sat in it, it feels similarly sized to a modern hot hatch. Think of it like a 4WD one with a V8 and it kinda makes sense. Hopefully with the improvements I plan it'll be quite a useful cross-county terrorist too.

[integrale_evo]

I'm still struggling with the mentality of the mumbloid who goes "gor blimey dem smoked lights r da bomb innit I'll make sum wiv me own paint bruv"

To be fair, they don't look any worse then the ones bmw will sell you at the dealers for several hundred quid, they just don't suit that car at all.

Much better than the usual diy tint them till you can't see them jobs you see around.

[V8Granite]

Ooh looking forward to the X5 updates as it was on my shortlist.

I’m surprised at the towing limit being so low, I never got that far as everything I need to tow weighs more than that. It certainly looks clean!!

Dave!

[JLv3.0]

Just hope he weighs the shit smokey paint he takes off because Ste

[JonMad]

Sat in it, it feels similarly sized to a modern hot hatch. Think of it like a 4WD one with a V8 and it kinda makes sense.

I like this thinking.

[ste]

Ooh looking forward to the X5 updates as it was on my shortlist.

I’m surprised at the towing limit being so low, I never got that far as everything I need to tow weighs more than that. It certainly looks clean!!

Dave!

Turns out it's actually 2700kg. Plenty for me. Trackcar + trailer + spares etc isn't half that.

[jamcg]

Have none of you ever come across this shit?

https://www.eurocarparts.com/ecp/p/perf ... zQEALw_wcB

Don’t know how it’s legal to sell to the kind of idiot who actually wants to use it

[Mito Man]

I thought the tints were some type of ppf style wrap. Had no idea it came in spray form. Didn’t Yu pay extra to have his 140 lights tinted through BMW?