OV9

As per everyone else's comments, awfully sorry to hear your news Simon.

However, you really cannot beat yourselves up about what's happened with your pregnancy. As Jobbo says, it's actually a sadly common occurrence. I'm sure there'll be several people on here at least that can fully understand what you're going through, myself included.

On and 30/40 isn't old, certainly not by today's standards. We had ours at 38/39. Good luck going forward and, again as Jobbo says, just keep at it and enjoy the fun bits

31 and 44 here

Tough few weeks

I think failed pregnancies are more common than most people think, but often not spoken about, because of some sort of misguided “shame”? Surely that’s the main reason it’s not traditional to announce your pregnancy for 3 months?

I’m glad more and more people are opening up about it. I think it helps the people who it’s happened to, and also people who it might happen to

Very branch of you to speak up about it

When you actually read up on what needs to happen at each stage just to get pregnant it's amazing it happens for anyone.

Keep shagging, distract yourself with a new dog and when the time is completely impractical you'll end up with triplets or even worse, ginger babies!

Dave!

Thanks for your thoughts everyone. You're right - it seems like it's a lot more common than most people realise, because it seems that often people simply haven't talked about it. The doctors said that if you exclude all those miscarriages for which the women didn't even know she was pregnant (ie it's just like a slightly heavy period) then the number of pregnancies that don't go full term is about 1 in 5. If you include those v early ones it's really a lot higher. And more besides have other complications - Heck, even I was born blue! (That probably explains a lot )

My O/H's Mum lost a number of babies before she was born, including one that went full term. How awful for her.

I've been thinking about this a lot today, and checking in with this thread a lot reading what you've all written. I think my closing comment about all of this is something I remembered earlier that one of the doctors had said to us. I'll paraphrase;

'Often a lot of people are left with a feeling that they've done something wrong, have done something to cause this to happen, and that perhaps they could've prevented it. The reality is that during fertilization all those millions of strands of DNA have to align perfectly, everything has to be 'just so', and as the baby develops further, more demands are put on that perfect fertilization in order to develop into a fully functioning human being, organs and all. When something is going wrong in that development because fertilization was imperfect the body is brilliant enough to say 'I've got to let this one go, it's not developing right' and to reject it. That's often all a miscarriage is'.

How accurate or true that is I'm obviously not in a position to argue, but I at least found it comforting.



On Benji, yes, we fucked that one right up. The mistake was made from the very first moment. We just didn't introduce them properly, and from that went the issues we had, and then with emotions and hormones running so high on Sunday evening we made a snap, possibly wrong decision to take him back. I've no doubt that if we'd done introductions properly, and if my O/H wasn't so tearful and stressed over the weekend anyway then he'd still be with us now.

Last night she talked to me about rescuing another kitten instead, which is perhaps a conversation for the new year. It's 2 weeks to Christmas and I haven't even started shopping, and still have a couple of big work tasks to complete before I go on my break.




So, thanks again all.

V8Granite wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 1:56 pm ginger babies!

Dave!

O/H is Brazilian so I believe it's genetically impossible?

As an aside, do you know how many latin women simply adore gingerness? Ed Sheeran is practically a god over there. If he'd got normal brown, black or blond hair he wouldn't be half as popular.

Tough times, I’ve also heard of the theory that many miscarriages are due to the body recognising severe problems with the chromosomes and there’s some pretty convincing science behind it.
At the end of the day the most important thing is to have a healthy baby and not a ginger mutant after all.

I don’t have anything to add but best wishes to you Simon. Take care pal!

Shite couple of weeks for both of you. Don’t know what to say other than hope things pick up.

V8Granite wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 1:56 pm Keep shagging

Mito Man wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 9:59 pm Tough times, I’ve also heard of the theory that many miscarriages are due to the body recognising severe problems with the chromosomes and there’s some pretty convincing science behind it.

Quite.

Unless you are talking to an IVF company

Simon wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 8:37 pm

V8Granite wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 1:56 pm ginger babies!

Dave!

O/H is Brazilian so I believe it's genetically impossible?

There’s still a risk of it in central and South America due to Cornish tin miners going over there for work and sullying the gene pool.

I know a guy from Brazil with bright red hair.

ZedLeg wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 4:35 am

Simon wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 8:37 pm

V8Granite wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 1:56 pm ginger babies!

Dave!

O/H is Brazilian so I believe it's genetically impossible?

There’s still a risk of it in central and South America due to Cornish tin miners going over there for work and sullying the gene pool.

I know a guy from Brazil with bright red hair.

I think you'll find that wherever the Cornish go, they improve the gene pool

A lot of Irish and Welsh farmers went to Patagonia too...

Jackleg wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 5:09 am

ZedLeg wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 4:35 am

Simon wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 8:37 pm

O/H is Brazilian so I believe it's genetically impossible?

There’s still a risk of it in central and South America due to Cornish tin miners going over there for work and sullying the gene pool.

I know a guy from Brazil with bright red hair.

I think you'll find that wherever the Cornish go, they improve the gene pool

Except Cornwall, ironically

dinny_g wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 9:10 am A lot of Irish and Welsh farmers went to Patagonia too...

There are more Welsh speakers in Patagonia than in Wales.

Swervin_Mervin wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 12:40 pm
On and 30/40 isn't old, certainly not by today's standards. We had ours at 38/39.

Delphi has just had a kid and he's in his 80s.

Jimmy Choo wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:25 am

Swervin_Mervin wrote: Mon Dec 10, 2018 12:40 pm
On and 30/40 isn't old, certainly not by today's standards. We had ours at 38/39.

Delphi has just had a kid and he's still living in the 80s.

LETS ROCK!!!!!!

FTFY

Dave!

NotoriousREV wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 10:27 am

dinny_g wrote: Tue Dec 11, 2018 9:10 am A lot of Irish and Welsh farmers went to Patagonia too...

There are more Welsh speakers in Patagonia than in Wales.

And the largest group of "Non English Speaking" Irish descendants...

that's a lot of Ginge floating about...

Shit times Simon. We've had two miscarriages this year so I know what it's like. As Rev said it's so much more difficult for the lady in your life but we try to be positive. If there's something in the mix that isn't quite right then it's better that it happens at a few weeks rather than at the end as that would be horrific.

Enjoy the practice and don't put too much pressure on yourselves. Good luck!!