A Toast

[Ascender]

100% coverage, with 100% butter and on hot toast so it goes nice and soft but doesn't become liquid.

[dinny_g]

Another key toast requirement.

The butter must be spread very gently so as not to squish the bread - you need to have a light fluffy core to each slice

[Jobbo]

I may need to do another poll, as cheese-on-toast has just popped into my head, and I suspect many of you wrongun's aren't following the CORRECT process (as outlined below) for that either.

> Grille ONE side of the bread until brown and toasty (to your preferred level)
> Apply cheese (sliced rather than grated - for consistent density and thickness) directly to the un-toasted side of the bread, leaving a slight border to minimise the risk of melty-overflow. Grind some pepper on there - salt not required.
> Re-introduce to grille - cheese side up guys - until said cheese is fully melted, and the exposed bread border has toasted (to your preferred level).
> Remove from grille and cut each slice in half, as you are not a savage. The cut may be in the direction of your choice, but diagonal tastes best - of course.
> Repeatedly insert into your face until no cheese-on-toast remains. Chewing is recommended, but is optional and may be minimised : hunger level dependant.

A tweak to this. Following your instructions the cheese is applied to a side of the bread which is completely untoasted, and unbuttered. Texturally I think there needs to be a slightly crisp layer below the cheese for it to melt into.

Therefore, grille one side of the bread until it is fully done, then do the other side to a light brown. Butter the lighter side and apply the cheese, but right up to and over the edges - to avoid them burning. Then continue as per your instructions.

[Matty]

however, with a diagonal cut, the edges are perpendicular so not as easily held on just the vertical edges. i quite like the presentation of a diagonal cut.

I'm going to slightly derail the thread but....surely everyone goes corner to corner? Straight edge looks wrong, and isn't as easy to eat.

Only excuse for straight cuts is for egg dippin', then it's strips.

[dinny_g]

Confession time - I never cut slices of toast in two until I met my partner - I was 23 years old before I ever cut a slice of toast

[JonMad]

Don't have a toaster, so use a grill or the air fryer also does a decent job at it. The latter is particularly good for bagels as the bottom stays less done unless you turn it over, so it's softer to hold with a crisp, toasted inner.
Cheese on toast - yes, one side toasted only, cheese onto the untoasted side. I don't butter it first, weirdly now I think of it, as I butter pretty much every other bread-based snack variant.

[jamcg]

I like to enjoy some toast with my butter, it’s not about coverage it’s more about loading it up with enough butter so you feel it in your arteries as you eat it

[V8Granite]

Unless you have the delicate pointy toothed jawline of a mouse, why are people cutting slices of toast ?

As a bearded man, eating a piece of toast without getting butter or jam in my follicular fuzz is still easy.

As for toasters....

Medium thickness bread.
Butter to the edges.
Pre-cut and positioned Red Leicester as it melts nicely without any mess.
A thin smear of American mustard on one piece of bread, the non buttered side.
Butter side down in pre-warmed dry frying pan.
Construct sandwich.
Flip once the butter and bread are caramelised and light brown.
A thin smear of maple syrup on the already cooked side.
Cook till other side is brown and then consume.

Also, a Christmas evening toastie is awesome, I like these quite squished though or it can be too loose to eat, sadly children in my house need them cutting.



Dave!

[Mito Man]

Steady on, any more and we’ll get shut down by the uk government for posting such utter 18+ filth

[nuttinnew]

Ah, yes, well, now then - this may need a(nother) poll;

[Gavin]

No 4, but as a speed that avoids the toast going hard.

[Swervin_Mervin]

Leave the crusts for greaseless holding purposes. Otherwise it's butter the entirety of what's left. And it has to be done when the toast is hot, so that the butter forms a melted slick. This only works on properly toasted toast as well, otherwise the butter melts into the toast - I want to see that buttery lake on the surface.

This also then mixes well with peanut butter or bovril. But it has to be melted butter - leave that toast too long and the resulting unmelted butter does not mix so beautifully with either topping.

If I'm jamming it, I don't adopt the butter slick approach, because that would be grim.

And as Dave! says, cut slices are for Ladies or children.

[Explosive Newt]

The key thing here and what I think you are missing out on is that the toast has to be hot in order to adequately melt the butter or butter-adjacent substance and let it soak into the lovely toasty toast.

Assuming the melting temperature of butter (Tm-Butter) to be about 32-35°C and your toast to be about 40-45°C then the room temp butter will rise in temperature until it meets the melting point, then the heat will go into changing its phase to melty rather than raising the temperature.

Both the heat capacity prior to melting and the heat required to phase-change the butter will be proportionate to the mass of the butter
Q = mass x specific heat capacity (butter) x temp change
Q = mass of butter x latent heat of fusion (butter)

Therefore I put it to you that the key factor is not toast coverage alone but having an even spread that a) reduces mass and b) maximises heat transfer to buttter
heat transfer = thermal conductivity (toast) x contact area x temperature gradient.

[Explosive Newt]

grille

[Explosive Newt]

I have calculated that a 63.5°C piece of toast will adequately melt 10g of butter in around 20 seconds.

HOWEVER.

The Malliard reaction (the chemical reaction that browns toasted food and makes it taste toasty) does not occur until food is in the 140-170°C range.

Therefore we have reached what physicists term the Butter-Malliard paradox point. Therefore you should toast the toast at the correct temperature for good toasting, but be sure the butter is applied while still above 63.5°C.

[mik]

<awesume geekery>

I feel this deserves an instructional YouTube video.

[Explosive Newt]

<awesume geekery>

I feel this deserves an instructional YouTube video.

Team up with Gav.... Or keep it under wraps for my next university admission interview question?

https://neutralkaon.github.io/Eggtimer/ <- this was inspired by a colleague's physics interview!

[mik]

https://neutralkaon.github.io/Eggtimer/ <- this was inspired by a colleague's physics interview!

Ooh - I do like that.

I need to know however :
1. Is there any correctional factor that needs to be applied for duck eggs?
2. We only have 2 left (as we just ate some) and the larger of the two is 80g. The kalkulator only appears to go up to 75g.

[Explosive Newt]

Eggcellent points.

1. The calculator is based around the denaturing temperatures of the yolk and white and solves the thermal diffusion equation for these. The physics answer is that a duck egg yolk is radically different and requires a whole new set of calculations, while the engineering answer is that the duck egg yolk is broadly comparable to chicken and the same equations will hold.

2. Select custom and you are free to enter whichever egg weight gives you the most joy.

[V8Granite]

I have fixed this problem by having lovely buttery scrambled egg.

Dave!