2024 review / 2025 plans

[ZedLeg]

The social thing is hard.

I lost a bunch of friends a few years ago (also related to why I don’t drink anymore) and have never really made new ones.

Need to make more effort this year.

[Jobbo]

The social thing is hard.

I lost a bunch of friends a few years ago (also related to why I don’t drink anymore) and have never really made new ones.

Need to make more effort this year.

I definitely used to be more keen to make long phone calls to friends I didn't see that often (Nefarious, for instance) when I was an employee - during working hours of course. So I am blaming work. But it does seem to get more difficult to keep up with people as the years start to whizz past.

[Gavster]

The social thing is hard.

I lost a bunch of friends a few years ago (also related to why I don’t drink anymore) and have never really made new ones.

Need to make more effort this year.

I "did a geographic" back in 2011 which led to seven years sober and didn't make many new pals for a long time. The new friendships I have made after the age of 40 were from 1) going back to uni to study an MSc, 2) from getting really stuck-in with the triathlon club and 3) by organising meetups for other content creators.

[duncs500]

I'm always at my limit in terms of friends that I have time to realistically catch up with (having child seems to add a few friends too as they're just less of a pain to look after for both sets of parents when they have a friend). Although I think if I was teetotal I'd have to only socialise with car nerds as I think it's the only group that doesn't require significant drinking!

My appetite for boozing definitely seems to be waning though, I just feel like free time is so precious that although I love socialising and being in the pub, you wipe out a whole day doing the drinking and the next day isn't so great either. It feels like an increasingly big sacrifice to make.

[dan]

Finish my car (really). Launch my new business to the world and hopefully make some proper money after 10 years working my nob off for very little return (all my own fault, its harder running a business than you might think).

I'd like to get fitter this year, or rather i'd like to actually clean my diet up and lose some bodyfat despite telling myself i'll do it every year. If I can fix my work / life balance a bit and get back in to the gym regularly and improve my diet a bit i'd be happy. I'm as heavy as i've ever been (85 kilos) although i'm also the strongest i've ever been, I currently deadlift 160kg's (would like to double my bodyweight) for reps, bench 100kgs (2 plates on the bar is really satisfying for a middle aged gentleman like myself) and shoulder press 38kg dumbbells which i'm pretty happy with, if I could maintain that and lose about 5 kilos i'd be very happy.

More cycling as well, I bought a gravel bike last year and i'm really enjoying that so more of the same.

Oh plus, i'm currently getting paid to properly rebuild the race car i've unsuccessfully tried to race for the last couple of years, so as long as I get it right it'd be good to finish a few races this year and maybe get a little plastic pot. Genuinely living the dream at the mo, which is very cool

[Delphi]

Well, 2024 took some pretty unexpected turns, several of them around looking after broken people.
My dad's health took a sudden nosedive last December, leading to him getting sectioned and spending the first third of the year in and out of hospital, and then transitioning to supported living. His actual diagnosis is Lewy Body Dementia, which has proved to be a weird and emotionally challenging kind of mental health issues.

That's sucks, Nef. My dad had Lewy Body Dementia and it's fucking awful. Hit me up if you need to talk to someone who's been through it.


928 is getting close now. Second biggest job (the interior) was done and it feels like the car's on the home straight. Still struggling for time to work on it but I've found doing the odd hour at lunchtime allows me to make some progress albeit slowly.

Still got the Boxster although selling it is looking likely this year. Unfortunately I bought when prices were at their highest and I'll probably end up taking a bit of a bath on it.

Work is still work. It's still easy and a bit boring. I've been toying with the idea of moving into a different area to see if there's anything more interesting, but we'll see.

Health wise, I've built more muscle but I've put on the wrong kind of weight through my sedentary job and eating rubbish. Going to try and fix that this year. Need to lose probably 7 or 8kg ideally. I've not weighed myself in months (I daren't).

Probably going to have to spend a bit of money on the house this year, but how much remains to be seen (fix/replace conservatory or full send it into a bog kitchen/diner extension - neither is cheap).

Family is all good, so no complaints there.

[dinny_g]

2024 has been a odd year with a lot needing to be put on pause but 2025 is looking more promising.

The year has largely been taken up with my dad's recovery from cancer - all tests are continuing to be clear thanks God but he needed to do another round of Oxygen Chamber therapy for the damage to his bladder. He's been fine and while there's been big changes in his life, he still gets about, splits his time between Dublin and Kerry and has a new grandson down the road to fawn over. He has started to get back issues now but overall, things could be a lot worse.

2024 was the year stuff broke. Washing Machine, Tumble Drier and Dish Washer all went within 3 months so that was a kick to the savings. All fairly old so understandable but unfortunate. The plumbing in the house has air in the system and is vibrating when the toilets flush. Plumber is coming tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. I think 2025 will the house will need a bit of preventative tlc.

Didn't get too far with holidays this year. Had 4 days in Brighton in May, 2 weeks split between Kerry and North Devon in August and in between, we squeezed 2 weekend trips home from both parents 80th's in Jan and October. If I get a bonus in April, we'll be having a final blow out holiday with Mini-Dinny before his Gap year and ultimately Uni. I've always wanted to explore the south west coast of France, from Biarritz in the south to the mouth of the Bordeaux River. Ideally, 2 separate week long holiday lets, one in the south and another in the north. Ferry to North Spain etc.

Work has been a blessing this year. It's a very challenging market for us at the moment so we're all having to work extra on top of extra but it's been rewarding. I guess it's the blessing of a longer career. I'm finding things a lot easier than some of my younger colleagues but I've seen it all before, multiple times. This makes it easy to leave it at the front door which is helpful.

And for 2025:

Holidays - I've mentioned France but I'd also like to get back into overnight wild camping - I haven't been since before COVID and I get the feeling if I don't start back soon, I never will.

Work - I'm slowly manoeuvring myself into an opportunity that is imminent at work. This will remove a lot of uncertainty and map out the next 3 or 4 for me. I'm impressing all the right people - and it's the behaviours around the team not just the day job - so fingers crossed.

Other than that - keep losing the excess weight, get the nipper through his A-Levels, get out with my Camera more etc - the usual

[Mito Man]

2024 felt like it was 3 years long for me probably because I spent so much of it running back and forth doing 500 miles a week. They say time flies when you’re having fun so evidently that combined with work has been a bit of a grind.

Health wise can’t complain. I’ve worked out at least 4 days a week for the past few years and it’s at the point where it’s such a routine that I have to do it. Having a treadmill, some weights and rowing machine at home has been a game changer. There’s no excuse not to work out. I don’t notice the changes day to day but a few months ago I was pulling the spare wheel off the Defender and it weighed so little - I remember really struggling with that a few years ago.

Holidays have been good, been to Portugal twice to visit my parents and to Sweden mainly to get some ideas as to where I’d like to live there if I do make the move in future. I need to go visit a few more times to build a better picture. Think I went to Wales and the Lake District in 2024 as well.

Forestry - oh boy, I’ll keep it brief. The actual forestry side of things has been good, and seeing tiny saplings I planted 10 years ago which are now rather large trees is very satisfying. I have about 300 trees to plant this year though.
A cyclist reported my wonky mill shelter to the council - fortunately he told me before I put the roof on. So come April enforcement visited, didn’t say anything then sent warning letters over 8 different items over the course of the year.
1 for the shelter. 2 for 2 structures (log stores) which are both 8 years old. 1 for CCTV, 1 for a floodlight, 1 for fencing, and 2 more for items which are not on our land.
Anyway. Aside from the shelter everything is over 4 years old. But would be nice for all this to conclude this year.

Cars - All ticking along nicely, should just be routine servicing this year which I do myself, although the 6 series has a permanent CEL again just in time for its MOT. Did toy with buying an older sports car but can’t commit as I prefer stupid slow cars which go off road but have hilarious handling on road. My dad frequently asks me “why do you only like shit cars” and I can’t find an answer.
During Black Friday I ordered a metal garage for £1000 - need to make a base for it first but assembling it will keep me busy at the weekends for the winter I think.
Then I can buy something stupid to put in it!

[Nefarious]

That's sucks, Nef. My dad had Lewy Body Dementia and it's fucking awful. Hit me up if you need to talk to someone who's been through it.

Cheers man. Now initial drama has passed and he's settled with a support regime, I am at least spared the worst of the practical stuff - he keeps threatening to do dangerous stuff like steal peoples cars and block the flue of the boiler to cause CO poisoning. The emotional rollercoaster is mostly down to to trying to internally reconcile a truly horrendous thing happening to another human being and the fact that, even prior to the most recent episode, my father is an unconscionable arsehole who would quite happily stand on my face just to feel 3" taller.

[Explosive Newt]

I have decisions to make. Essentially it boils down to taking a job that is available now which is a dead cert but not really everything I want or holding out for something else to appear locally, which would hopefully appear towards the end of this year / beginning next but there is a bit of uncertainty around it.

Otherwise, yeah, be fitter and healthier.

Also, reading this thread, you all seem to have investments and I have been wondering if I should do that. I am going to need more money sooner or later (see below), and the Aston Martin Vantage dream seems to slip further away.

Well, 2024 took some pretty unexpected turns, several of them around looking after broken people.
My dad's health took a sudden nosedive last December, leading to him getting sectioned and spending the first third of the year in and out of hospital, and then transitioning to supported living. His actual diagnosis is Lewy Body Dementia, which has proved to be a weird and emotionally challenging kind of mental health issues.

My mum got admitted to a nursing home after 4 years of struggle with Alzheimers. Huge relief on my dad that he isn't doing all the caring now and frankly she had got past what he could deal with. The cost however is eye watering. It's all crappy. I'm sorry, man.

[NGRhodes]

Well plans for 2024 to not spend £2k on repairs on the car again didn't happen.
2025 - we have got a Husky.

[KiwiDave]

I've been looking at this thread every year with a deep seated desire to write something, but each year so far I've been broken to the point where writing it would have me curled up in a ball in the corner. Same goes for the bucket list thread, open in a tab for over a year now... From that I'd say the fact I'm making this post at all is progress.

24 was a year where I've struggled to still be here. Largely driven by the loss of Dad at the very end of 23 and all the bullshit that went along with that. When I added it to some of the other weight I'm carrying in my head, I only just held on. That said, there were some positives - 2 and a bit glorious months in a friend's gorgeous lake house, riding my bike every weekend in Rotorua, was especially awesome. I know she doesn't frequent here any more, but I know some of you know her, so a particular hat tip to Caroline of the former EVO shire who was (and is) quite frankly a gift of a human being. Doing the grief thing side by side with her was a genuine life changing experience and she is fucking awesome. My job continues to be awesome too. It's not extending me any, but it's safe, a good vibe, pays pretty well and is great to have that as a solid constant.

25 - ride the bike a bit more, be less fat. Probably try and start to ease off my love of craft beers. I have a massive shipment of drums coming in 2025 which will probably be the biggest spend I ever make on them which is exciting. I wanna continue to do the odd driving thing, it was awesome to do the odd trackday last year. I'm wanting to finally get into doing some home recording. I hope the year is kind to the three friends I have fighting cancer right now, I don't wanna be doing any more funerals any time soon. The big stuff - I think I'm finally ready to admit I'm gonna seek some professional help for my head again this year - I've been reluctant for so long as I've been there and got the t-shirt, the past few times I've sought some help I felt very little benefit, just an emptying of the wallet. Something has got to change though, it's that or say time is up. The big one I've been chewing on for a while is whether my relationship is finally over, or if it's OK and I'm the problem - I've been in a 'if you're not sure, you're not ready to do anything state' for a while. Maybe I'll still be there this time next year.

I can't believe I've actually written that down. Let's see how much I regret it.

[DeskJockey]

That's quite a load to carry. Can't offer much but empathy. Hope you find your way through.

[Ascender]

Happy New Year everyone.

Sorry to hear about all the challenging and awful situations going-on for everyone at the moment, particularly around loved ones and health. Seems to be a constant now that we're all getting that bit older and it's just so difficult juggling everything, looking after yourself and just being able to carry one.

Like DJ says, I can't offer much other than empathy, but am always around if I can do anything for anyone on here.

2024 was a big change for us with the house sale and move, not to mention my boy moving out and now being 4+ hours away from us which is very strange. We tend not to get too stressed about stuff, but it's clearly been a stressful and tiring time so feels a bit like we're only now relaxing into things. But health wise we've been fine so are grateful for that (I've jinxed it now haven't it?). We're nearer our parents now who are thankfully still doing ok, but it's weird now seeing them age, almost all of a sudden.

2025 I need to get my fitness sorted, chip away at the house projects and I guess work out pensions and retirement planning as we've both been very remiss with that and I literally have no idea where to start. Work wise I've no idea what will happen, how the market is and also need to try and get something going for the future but all a bit of a pipe dream at the moment. So just keep on plodding along and enjoying the countryside up here.

[Simon]

It's taken me a while to get around to this thread.

My post from last year:

Looking back at my wish-list for 2023, it basically said 'improve our financial situation'

I've been working on that, but more on that in a bit. Seems that '23 can mostly be summed up in achievements. We brought new life into this world with the birth of our daughter in July. Her and my son have bonded amazingly. He's a brilliant big brother and loves her to bits. Looking back it was so definitely the right thing to do. No more though, despite the wife saying that if we had more money she'd like a third. Sod that!

In June I passed my AWS certifications, and last week passed my Azure ones too. Maybe I'll do Google certs in the new year just for the LOLz. Yeah, I'm pretty much bored of work now, but it's paying the bills. The more it feels like I'm phoning it in, the better my reports seem to get at work. There's even talk of promotion in the air. Whatever.

Deb did her life in the UK test in November and we've just finished her Indefinite Leave to Remain application, so we should hear about that in the coming weeks/months. 4 visa applications in, what with solicitors fees, NHS fees, visa fees etc, I'm in for about £20k for the whole lot. And we've still got citizenship to go. Anyone who things coming to the UK is cheap or easy can FRO.

So, money. I've never wanted to retire doing what I do now. I'm pretty much done with IT already, after nearly 27 years, but have never been able to put my finger onto what would replace it. This time last year I knew our daughter was on her way, so I thought a lot about the next few years and what it needed from me and it really focused my mind. We will need our larger forever house, both cars will need replacing soon, we need to buy a place in Brazil for my mother-in-law (and for us to stay in when we go over there), we'd like a place in Portugal too, and of course there's the usual children costs. Finally I want to retire in 10 years or so, and my friend has a venture I'd like to invest in, and I want to do all of this off my own back and without falling back on an inheritance or two, so for new year '23 I created a commitment to myself to get our second source of income flowing. Those of you who are really observant will have noticed that my post count has dropped significantly this year and that's because I'm working hard on upskilling my new income. I'm not saying what it is yet, but if all goes to plan I'm looking at an exit to 'employment' within the next 12-18 months and then a few years maxing out my new income stream(s). And no, it's not crypto.

So, 23 was largely a win, but as I noted elsewhere it feels like my parents (or at least my Mum) are really getting old. Dad is 80 soon, yet only just wound up his practice and retired so seems fit enough, but Mum's been through the wringer a bit of late and is a bit blind and very slow on her feet. Poor old Mum. So that worries me, but doesn't seem like there's anything I can do to help them.

Hopefully '24 will bring a bit of better health for her and I can start to make them feel proud of me whilst they're still around.

I'll tackle them in order. Kids - Noah still besotted with his baby sister Sienna. It doesn't matter what shit is going on in the world, when I see how they interact and the joy they bring each other I can forget everything else. A few days ago they were sitting next to each other on the sofa with their breakfast, watching TV with a blanket pulled up over their legs. I caught Noah turning to his sister, getting a huge smile on his face and then giving he a gentle kiss on the cheek. Pure love.

Noah started school in September and turned 5 a month later. However, he's really struggling. As a SEN kid the school do amazingly with the resources they have, but really we need his EHCP to come through and the extra support that'll bring. He still isn't attending full time - just a couple of 'full' days a week and the rest are mornings, and even when he has a full day he comes home for lunch because the noisy lunch hall is too overwhelming for him. We got his autism diagnosis early in the year and are a few weeks from completing his ADHD and ODD diagnosis. Aside from the paperwork, what that should really open the door for is medication to help him navigate through the day. We didn't want to go down that road originally, but actually now think it's probably the best thing for him. With the family history of the above we watch Sienna very closely for any signs she may exhibit!

On the job front, you may have seen that I left my role in December and am now looking for something new. My side-hustle is starting to pay though, so now the question is can I ramp my side hustle quickly enough to not need to go back? I've a couple of years of savings to see if I can make it work.

I'm not really _wanting_ another employed job, but will do what I need to do to put food on the table. Also it really helps being at home with Noah and his additional needs through the day (and I was officially full time WFH from 2020 anyway as they closed our office). Will see.

So 2025 is basically trying to speed up my 'side' income so I don't have to work again, getting my son medicated, and starting Sienna at nursery in September. With the free time I have right now I need to do some bits around the house so I don't feel my time is wasted!

[Jobbo]

I can't believe I've actually written that down. Let's see how much I regret it.

I'm sure you won't regret it - I avoided writing anything for a while but actually get quite a lot of joy from going back the next year to see how things turned out.

Also, Caroline is indeed a star - not in the same context at all as your shared grief, but I still mentally thank her for telling me not to pop in to see an ex-g/f on the way home from lunch in 2011ish by referring to the film Misery

[mr_jon]

All the best Dave. Use my code for Betterhelp actually don't considering they're scammers.

24 wasn't a great year as the missus has had several health issues, culminating in a bowel cancer diagnosis over the xmas break. This is 6 years after ovarian cancer, apparently not that uncommon. No idea of the plan yet but work are supportive and nhs have been very good - including a medical ambulance flight off the island.

My granny also popped her clogs just prior to xmas, 102 wasn't a bad innings but my parents found the last couple of weeks pretty tough, as you would.

Work is honestly a bit meh but pays the mortgage. Not a lot I can do about that if I'm going to need time off and plenty of wfh, not really a good time to switch roles.

Kids are doing great so hopefully my lad can land his highers this year and then we can start thinking uni placement.

Cars aren't even an option for fun here as the roads are just too bad. Concentrate on my health a bit more, cut out the whisky a bit etc. All the usual.

[KiwiDave]

Also, Caroline is indeed a star - not in the same context at all as your shared grief, but I still mentally thank her for telling me not to pop in to see an ex-g/f on the way home from lunch in 2011ish by referring to the film Misery

We've all been there let's be honest. Everyone should be so lucky as to have a Caroline.

All the best Dave. Use my code for Betterhelp actually don't considering they're scammers.

I'm actually glad you said that, unsurprisingly I've been getting a lot of their targeted ads, and the chick they've got fronting them currently who starts her spiel with 'Hi baby...' is enough to make me crumble on the spot.

I'm also especially sorry to hear the news about your Mrs Jon - that sucks very, very hard. Peace and bestest wishes to you both,.

[Gavster]

I can't believe I've actually written that down. Let's see how much I regret it.

Putting these things down in writing, good or bad, is really cathartic. It doesn't matter if this year is a better one or a worse one, and this is a very supportive little corner of the internet to share that. Sending big love to you buddy

As for the therapy question, as a seasoned veteran I would highly recommend spending as much time as possible choosing the right therapist. There's good evidence that the positive results of therapy are strongly linked to your relationship to the therapist. E.g., you need to like them and feel a good rapport. I also prefer time-bounded work, e.g. identify the problem I want to tackle such as bereavement, relationship etc and set an amount of sessions to address that, such as 6 or 10. Stops it from being an open-ended moneypit too. If they don't want to do that, then they're not the right therapist for me.

Also, it's worth considering what kind of therapy too, some therapists/practices are quite gentle, and others are far more confrontational or deep, and different ones are useful at different times. For example I had some CBT where the guy basically spent the whole time contradicting and challenging my beliefs, which was very useful. At the other end of the scale my first therapist was psychoanalytical and she'd sit in silence and say nothing until I'd spoken, or constantly say "and how do you feel about that", which probably the gentle touch I needed at first. Also I recently got a lot from hypnosis-based therapy, it was good for inner child stuff and tackling deep-rooted problems that seemed to follow me through life.

Anyway, best of luck with 2025

[dinny_g]

Check your Medical Insurance... I had 25, hour long sessions for 1 excess payment (£100)