OV9

One of the key things we noticed was lacking in empathy, and struggling to make friends, an awkwardness and unawareness of saying inappropriate things and upsetting people.

Anyway, life’s full of challenges!

Beany wrote: Wed Jan 02, 2019 12:41 pm Placeholder post. Short version:
Relationship that had me thinking I might actually be a functioning member of society fell to pieces,
Change in meds helped burning that bridge and be a bit more sanguine about that

Brother is more stable financially so less stress on that front
Fun car
Work has improved slightly, but still royally winds me up.
Currently starting 2019 in a holding pattern.

So where was I?

Oh yes.

Started the year pretty well, car, missus, felt like I was behaving Like A Person. Work was still fucking terrible, but I thought I was 'getting used to that', although the meds I was on at the time, in hindsight, were blinding me to problems there and elsewhere.

By the time summer rolled around, the missus had a depressive spell, didn't want me to come down, then didn't want to speak to me, then after a month and a half of this, i suggested a phone call - where you can't infer things that aren't there, as you can with text messages. By this point, my bro was financially fucked and I was having to support him, and I was getting pretty buggered in that respect too. And work was being crippling. So when she asked me to fully commit, I explained the above and that I didn't wan to make promises I couldn't keep - but that I wanted to get things back on track.

This didn't impress her and she dumped me. Which was a bit surprising as I sort of assume that being realistic in these things is better than just saying what she wanted to hear, but I suppose proves the point that even people you've known for near twenty years can be cunts, just like everyone else. This is part the depression speaking, and part just empirical fact in my life Anyway, jumping forward to look back, I don't regret it going that way for various reasons I won't bore you with.

At the time of course, this didn't lead to good times mental health wise, which then stretched into financials, as it often does - depressives on here will understand I imagine.

So around August I was basically at rock fucking bottom, considering suicide again, work was now disastrous as I felt I had no influence over things I was getting blamed for and made the sensible decision to ease off the flouxetine (which was leaving me feeling confused - not helping) and go to the docs. Got prescribed Citalopram. I also bought the BMW/sold the mondeo at this point to try to draw a line under the end of that relationship - being in the Mondeo wasn't a nice reminder of things; a bit like with the old mans car, etc.

Things picked up pretty well after that - BMW cheered me up (sounds trite, but it never hurts) giving me new things to learn, the work stuff that had been going badly; well, I basically washed my fucking hands of it. This got managements attention and they've started listening to me a bit more. The citalopram is kicking in and I'm not anxious (as I wasn't with the previous meds), but I also feel like I have a grip over my actions (unlike the previous meds) so that's good.

After a few weeks of a colleague taking multiple long weekends off - and lots of his 'little things' that only he does falling through, I basically ripped those responsibilities off him under pain of death, and the positive impact on business continuity that's had has gone down well with management, as has my generally picked up mood and more forward attitude.

Haven't heard a jot from the ex since, ooh, June, so I've burned that bridge and feel better for it.

Had some new people start at work, and have been the 'go to guy' for them learning the ropes of this place in terms of dealing with management etc (because I've had such a shit time of it with then for various reasons, arf), picking up some new skills (bit more telecoms stuff, but more SQL stuff, etc), and generally being a local legend etc. At home, I've cleared the house out a bit to help keep a clear mental state (again, depressives will be familiar...) with the help of my bro, who now has a full time job that he is absolutely fucking loving, so that helps too

So this year, I'm single, financially a bit more on top of things, respected at work, and I have a fun car to toy around in.

But I'm taking it easy for a bit. Just want to have a few months or so of a 'quiet life' before reaching back into things like trying to expand the social life a bit further, doing some more spannery stuff (MOT is up soon, car could do with a thermostat and a roof service, etc...) and getting my local test lab set up again for work stuff.

Got a few battles at work to deal with, but the new meds mean I'm more likely to put my foot down than before, which is needed with the management here - softly softly doesn't cut it.

So, 2018 can, in short, go suck a fuck. 2019 I'll ease myself into, methinks. I'm far from 'back on track' but I'm at least in the ballpark.

PS: Fucking hell Mito, your 2018 makes mine seem positively palatial, as do a few others here....!

Broccers wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 2:03 pm

NotoriousREV wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 2:02 pm

Broccers wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:53 pm

They don't actually work tho - this is / was my point. As for mental issues - no experience of those types of meds so can't comment.
If you are bored watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAoTwfx1Sic

Depends on what you mean by work. They demonstrably lower cholesterol, that is inarguable fact.

Watch the video.

Anyway I'll leave you all to feel sad .....

I shall watch that, due to a vested interest, but it will have to be later.

I have been taking statins every day since I was about 15, which now means this is around my 30th year of taking them. Currently I take them along with ezetimibe and aspirin. The annual blood tests I have with the consultant team at Harefield show my cholesterol is being maintained at a good level. Yes, I could eat better, but whilst I haven't cut out red meat, for example, and do eat some processed food I walk a few miles a day due to my commute and have a few veggies meals each week due to my wife being vegetarian and it's easier to cook one thing than two (or three, if you include cooking something else for the kids earlier in the evening). I am happy with the combination of diet, exercise (though minimal) and drug taking I am undertaking.

I started due to being diagnosed with genetically passed-on high cholesterol (familiar hypercholesterolaemia), after my Mum had her levels checked. Hers were 15. Mine was 8. Since then my Mum has had two heart bypasses (a triple, then, 11 years later, a double). My eldest has been tested and the gene not passed down to her, which id good news. My youngest will be tested next year or so.

I have had no discernible side effects from statins. I am not at the maximum dose.

240PP wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 2:35 pm He seems to have filled the void left by Mick after his flounce. NuNewey.

Well there's a good reason for this

I do enjoy his "watch this one video that I specifically sought out to support my case" arguments

Broccers wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:02 pmMaybe going in March so any tips JL send em my way.

Depends what you're after mate. If it's a beach-type trip then Unawatuna or Hikkaduwa always delivers. Don't spend too much or organise too much, it's a fairly basic laid-back place which they're good at, and fall to pieces if you expect or demand too much from them.

JonMad wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:23 pm

I shall watch that, due to a vested interest, but it will have to be later.

I have been taking statins every day since I was about 15, which now means this is around my 30th year of taking them. Currently I take them along with ezetimibe and aspirin. The annual blood tests I have with the consultant team at Harefield show my cholesterol is being maintained at a good level. Yes, I could eat better, but whilst I haven't cut out red meat, for example, and do eat some processed food I walk a few miles a day due to my commute and have a few veggies meals each week due to my wife being vegetarian and it's easier to cook one thing than two (or three, if you include cooking something else for the kids earlier in the evening). I am happy with the combination of diet, exercise (though minimal) and drug taking I am undertaking.

I started due to being diagnosed with genetically passed-on high cholesterol (familiar hypercholesterolaemia), after my Mum had her levels checked. Hers were 15. Mine was 8. Since then my Mum has had two heart bypasses (a triple, then, 11 years later, a double). My eldest has been tested and the gene not passed down to her, which id good news. My youngest will be tested next year or so.

I have had no discernible side effects from statins. I am not at the maximum dose.

Well that's good to hear. A random book to read too (seeing this is where my knowledge is plucked from) is https://www.amazon.co.uk/Great-Choleste ... B0078XGXQM

I was on Simvastatin and found those to be awful - they suggested switching to another - I didn't- my cholesterol is just the same now as it was taking them.

JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:31 pm

Broccers wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:02 pmMaybe going in March so any tips JL send em my way.

Depends what you're after mate. If it's a beach-type trip then Unawatuna or Hikkaduwa always delivers. Don't spend too much or organise too much, it's a fairly basic laid-back place which they're good at, and fall to pieces if you expect or demand too much from them.

Thanks. Some other friends are there at the moment as they travel the world on a budget. The cave hostel looks great - they are coffin like but only 3 pounds 50 a night https://www.facebook.com/SEAbackpacker/ ... O7&theater

no need going that cheap I wouldn't have thought, it sounds unnecessarily hard. Normal hotels are nice enough and cheap as chips, why pretend to be poor.

Even they didnt go for those - a nice room was 6 pounds apparently. I'm not looking for a mission of a holiday tho - its for relaxing after all

Broccers wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:37 pm

JonMad wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 4:23 pm

I shall watch that, due to a vested interest, but it will have to be later.

I have been taking statins every day since I was about 15, which now means this is around my 30th year of taking them. Currently I take them along with ezetimibe and aspirin. The annual blood tests I have with the consultant team at Harefield show my cholesterol is being maintained at a good level. Yes, I could eat better, but whilst I haven't cut out red meat, for example, and do eat some processed food I walk a few miles a day due to my commute and have a few veggies meals each week due to my wife being vegetarian and it's easier to cook one thing than two (or three, if you include cooking something else for the kids earlier in the evening). I am happy with the combination of diet, exercise (though minimal) and drug taking I am undertaking.

I started due to being diagnosed with genetically passed-on high cholesterol (familiar hypercholesterolaemia), after my Mum had her levels checked. Hers were 15. Mine was 8. Since then my Mum has had two heart bypasses (a triple, then, 11 years later, a double). My eldest has been tested and the gene not passed down to her, which id good news. My youngest will be tested next year or so.

I have had no discernible side effects from statins. I am not at the maximum dose.

Well that's good to hear. A random book to read too (seeing this is where my knowledge is plucked from) is https://www.amazon.co.uk/Great-Choleste ... B0078XGXQM

I was on Simvastatin and found those to be awful - they suggested switching to another - I didn't- my cholesterol is just the same now as it was taking them.

are we supposed to know why Broccers found them “awful”? I don’t know anything about statins but it’s not the first time he’s whined about how bad they are without giving any details of what they did/didn’t do to him?

Don’t know about Broccers but I was put on Atorvastatin and ditched them after 2 weeks. I was suffering with muscle pains and weakness in my legs. You know that wobbly, painful feeling you have after blasting your legs in a workout or decent run? I had that 24x7. I could barely walk up or down stairs and was in constant pain. Stopped taking them and returned to normal after 24 hours. Tried a couple of different versions and doses but got the same side effects. I haven’t bothered since.

Muscle pain. Horrible cramps in legs/ feet. General weak feeling. Lots out there on the subject.

http://www.statinnation.net/blog/2018/8 ... wZby9zgIk#

The had me on statins. I was feeling ill on them. Stomach pains etc. Stopped and my levels have been fine.

Foz wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 2:36 pm One of the key things we noticed was lacking in empathy, and struggling to make friends, an awkwardness and unawareness of saying inappropriate things and upsetting people.

Anyway, life’s full of challenges!

Autism is a strange one, I have 2 nephews both very autistic, one is a bit rainman, the other has very few social skills but both just lovely people. I find it very easy to chat with them but you have to put a bit of work in.

A friend of my wife has an autistic son who has issues. Exactly as you describe, I remember he went to just walk off a Merry-go-round as he decided he wanted to get off, despite it still turning. He has meltdowns, Christmas was hard as the idea of Santa coming down the chimney and walking round his house was freaking him out etc.
He wears headphones all the time to filter out the world and that has changed him for the better.

Order, separation from the world and solid ground rules help massively.

If you want to contact them just say and I’ll get you in touch.

Dave!

I was on medication for a while when younger, I was popping 10pills a day and at some point my Dad said it was ridiculous, took me off them and basically knocked the sense into me. Not by smacking me around the head or anything but just getting me to find my own way to deal with stuff.

It worked out well and my ADHD and aggressive hyperactivity got under control.

As a rule I hate labels as I firmly believe that everyone is different and it’s finding your own way to deal with life that can be incredibly hard, I have no idea how that is being done with children now, I just went to a bloke who asked me a million questions.

Good mental health for all but being a bit weird isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Obviously this being the internet will mean that someone thinks I think everything is fixed with a clip around the ear and I have zero empathy and hatred to the mentals.

Dave!

V8Granite wrote: Fri Jan 04, 2019 11:43 am Christmas was hard as the idea of Santa coming down the chimney and walking round his house was freaking him out etc.

We had to refine Christmas after the house break-in when the nipper's room was ransacked.

Santa circled around over all the houses and Magic'd the presents into the living room and into his stocking. He certainly NEVER came down the chimney to wander around the house.

And we never saw the Tooth Fairy again either.

NotoriousREV wrote: Thu Jan 03, 2019 7:46 pm Don’t know about Broccers but I was put on Atorvastatin and ditched them after 2 weeks. I was suffering with muscle pains and weakness in my legs. You know that wobbly, painful feeling you have after blasting your legs in a workout or decent run? I had that 24x7. I could barely walk up or down stairs and was in constant pain. Stopped taking them and returned to normal after 24 hours. Tried a couple of different versions and doses but got the same side effects. I haven’t bothered since.

Guess I'm fortunate not to have suffered any side effects.

Oh I forgot to mention, even though it's hugely overdone at this time of year, as of 1st Jan I'm going sober. Booze had launched an insidious takeover during the last year and I'm one of those people who can never stop at one.

mr_jon wrote: Fri Jan 04, 2019 1:16 pm Oh I forgot to mention, even though it's hugely overdone at this time of year, as of 1st Jan I'm going sober. Booze had launched an insidious takeover during the last year and I'm one of those people who can never stop at one.

I'm the same in that respect - so I only ever buy however many I feel comfortable drinking on that night.

IE I have, in the past, bought a box of wine. Then quaffed the lot in one night. Repeat for spirits, port, etc.

I now buy, say, just one bottle of wine on a Friday, then two bottles of strong ale on a Saturday, for example. But never both on the same day. Or they'd get necked on the same night.

Self control is not my strongest point

Aka. 'tidying it away' The missus having stuff in doesn't help, as she has the self-restraint that I don't have.

Read and watched a lot of booze-related progs, utoob's and the like in the last few months to understand why I drink; all that deep stuff. One of the best prog's was the Adrian Chiles one, and it's even got my proper alcoholic mate on the wagon (for now...).