Coronavirus

[dinny_g]

Don't think it's a Joke...

Self Employed doing cash in hand jobs, not paying tax but now being bailed out by the taxpayer or summat ??

[NotoriousREV]

The joke is that those self-employed that did cash in hand jobs and failed to declare their real profit/income will only get 80% of the average monthly profit they actually declared.

[Mito Man]

Oof, my electrician won’t be happy

[dinny_g]

The joke is that those self-employed that did cash in hand jobs and failed to declare their real profit/income will only get 80% of the average monthly profit they actually declared.

ah - makes more sense...

I was never going to get the subtlety, was I...

[Gwaredd]

The joke is that those self-employed that did cash in hand jobs and failed to declare their real profit/income will only get 80% of the average monthly profit they actually declared.

This. I actually know a few people who actually bragged about this & how their tax bill was zero as "they'd made a loss".

I guess they won't be too happy this morning. I just hope they had some of that cash stored away for a rainy day & didn't blow it all on a fancy Range Rover or new kitchen. Oh. Wait...

[Rich B]

Exactly, the jokes on those who played the system before. Other than that, self employed need exactly the same support as employed.

[Mito Man]

The joke is that those self-employed that did cash in hand jobs and failed to declare their real profit/income will only get 80% of the average monthly profit they actually declared.

This. I actually know a few people who actually bragged about this & how their tax bill was zero as "they'd made a loss".

I guess they won't be too happy this morning. I just hope they had some of that cash stored away for a rainy day & didn't blow it all on a fancy Range Rover or new kitchen. Oh. Wait...

This describes my friend to a tee. Except he managed to go a step further by never declaring any income, then he put his house on the market and wanted to upgrade but ended up being unable to get a mortgage for obvious reasons. Then he bought a new Range Rover, did an extension to the old house and spent the rest on a fancy watch.

[duncs500]

Exactly, the jokes on those who played the system before.

The ones that haven't retired already.

[GG.]

The joke is that those self-employed that did cash in hand jobs and failed to declare their real profit/income will only get 80% of the average monthly profit they actually declared.

This. I actually know a few people who actually bragged about this & how their tax bill was zero as "they'd made a loss".

I guess they won't be too happy this morning. I just hope they had some of that cash stored away for a rainy day & didn't blow it all on a fancy Range Rover or new kitchen. Oh. Wait...

This describes my friend to a tee. Except he managed to go a step further by never declaring any income, then he put his house on the market and wanted to upgrade but ended up being unable to get a mortgage for obvious reasons. Then he bought a new Range Rover, did an extension to the old house and spent the rest on a fancy watch.

The UK could do an awful lot more to clamp down on people with inexplicable wealth comparative to their income - there has been a test case though:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50763204

[Mito Man]

This. I actually know a few people who actually bragged about this & how their tax bill was zero as "they'd made a loss".

I guess they won't be too happy this morning. I just hope they had some of that cash stored away for a rainy day & didn't blow it all on a fancy Range Rover or new kitchen. Oh. Wait...

This describes my friend to a tee. Except he managed to go a step further by never declaring any income, then he put his house on the market and wanted to upgrade but ended up being unable to get a mortgage for obvious reasons. Then he bought a new Range Rover, did an extension to the old house and spent the rest on a fancy watch.

The UK could do an awful lot more to clamp down on people with inexplicable wealth comparative to their income - there has been a test case though:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-50763204

Yeah but I won’t rat him out. He’s pretty unstable, had a messy divorce 5 years ago, felt that the courts hung him out to dry and that’s where it all started really. Good guy but I think he’s actually been traumatised and thinks the government is out to get him since all that happened.

[Zonda_]

A door handle has broken, it's marvellous, I have a task!

On the down side I'm thinking if this goes on much longer I won't be able to get a haircut...

[dinny_g]

Im looking at a section of my garage going “I could arrange all that stuff in a different way”

[Sundayjumper]

On the down side I'm thinking if this goes on much longer I won't be able to get a haircut...

Do it yourself !

One Christmas holiday, while my wife was out for the evening, I decided to cut my own hair. She has never let me forget.

(I maaaay have had a couple of drinks that night...)

[Zonda_]

On the down side I'm thinking if this goes on much longer I won't be able to get a haircut...

Do it yourself !

One Christmas holiday, while my wife was out for the evening, I decided to cut my own hair. She has never let me forget.

(I maaaay have had a couple of drinks that night...)

I’ll have to, but the only thing I can do clipper it and it will have to be extremely short otherwise it stick out at the sides. It took me years to find a barber that could do it properly.

On another note, is anyone else experiencing inexplicable weight loss, I dropped a pound on each of the last 4 days!

[Sundayjumper]

I've not weighed myself but I imagine I will be going in the opposite direction.

[Beany]

I'm not really getting any more or less exercise, but I am snacking less so that probably won't hurt!

[Swervin_Mervin]

I've not weighed myself but I imagine I will be going in the opposite direction.

Yeah this. I reckon there's a good chance I'll succumb to liver failure before coronavirus at this rate

I'm also predicting there'l' be two Coronavirus haircut types referred to by future historians:

The caveman look for those that just haven't had a haircut for months:



And the butchered look for those that did try to cut their hair themselves:

[Beany]

Eh, just buzz it back, it's not like you're going to have any meetings for a few weeks

[Simon]

They're just saying on the radio that BoJo has it.

[mik]

Yep
https://apple.news/AeVHZvWxDSnq7lwBghGAI9g