Mental Health

[mik]

Sorry to read this Barry.

Mate of mine had a bit of a crisis early forties and made some decisions that ripped his family (wife & 2 kids) to bits. His son has had some real challenges and reached out to me for help/guidance for a 2 year period - I was very glad to step in and help, but really saddened at how relationships that should be so close can be destroyed by narcissism and it’s generally the older party that screws things for the younger ones.

[Barry]

Thanks and yeah, I try to be around for whatever support I can give to what remains of that family, the youngest daughter messaged me earlier asking if I'd go to the funeral with them. Poor kid (22yr old kid now mind). Known her since she was 5. She's having anxiety attacks and struggling in general, since her dad walked away.

[Gavster]

Wasn't sure whether to post this but figured it could be helpful. After years of different therapies and probably every kind of personal development technique known to man, there has always been a persistent and particularly stubborn issue, where talking therapy simply doesn't touch the sides. I've explored it endlessly, to the point of frustration and saying "maybe that's just how I am". I've tried plenty of alternative therapies, yet still never quite gets to the root, which is buried very deep, it's central nervous system-level. Anyway, because I'm also relentless in wanting to move forwards and can't sit still , a few weeks ago I started EMDR and holy crap that is the most crazy, powerful exercise I've ever done. I'm only part-way through, but the impact of the first 'deep' session on my body is crazy, it's dragged the shit that was buried deep right to the surface - in a good way

Caveat is that it's not for everyone, and it's not a generalised thing that you can just apply to life. This is with a new therapist who was sceptical about doing it at first, until we'd worked through all the background and my behaviours. You need to have identified a specific event, image or scenario which is the source, something very powerful. It's usually for PTSD, for example works well with people who have been in active military service and can remember traumatic events they saw, although it can work with unconscious stuff, as long as you can create a scene that really hits you. If there is a very clear, boundaried scene you need to work on, which effects you on a subconscious level, it's worth exploring it.

[Broccers]

Wasn't sure whether to post this but figured it could be helpful. After years of different therapies and probably every kind of personal development technique known to man, there has always been a persistent and particularly stubborn issue, where talking therapy simply doesn't touch the sides. I've explored it endlessly, to the point of frustration and saying "maybe that's just how I am". I've tried plenty of alternative therapies, yet still never quite gets to the root, which is buried very deep, it's central nervous system-level. Anyway, because I'm also relentless in wanting to move forwards and can't sit still , a few weeks ago I started EMDR and holy crap that is the most crazy, powerful exercise I've ever done. I'm only part-way through, but the impact of the first 'deep' session on my body is crazy, it's dragged the shit that was buried deep right to the surface - in a good way

Caveat is that it's not for everyone, and it's not a generalised thing that you can just apply to life. This is with a new therapist who was sceptical about doing it at first, until we'd worked through all the background and my behaviours. You need to have identified a specific event, image or scenario which is the source, something very powerful. It's usually for PTSD, for example works well with people who have been in active military service and can remember traumatic events they saw, although it can work with unconscious stuff, as long as you can create a scene that really hits you. If there is a very clear, boundaried scene you need to work on, which effects you on a subconscious level, it's worth exploring it.

Hope it works for you

[Gavster]

And next on the list is an ADHD and Autism assessment. This has been kicking this around since 2019 when I first spoke to a rather dismissive doctor about it. Anyway, I easily passed the screening assessment and got referred to a clinic via right to choose. I've spent the last month or so staring down the barrel of 18 different assessment forms which require me to trawl through 48 years of dysfuntional behaviour. So far it's been about 12 hours working on them.

The questions have a unique ability to ask about such specific behavioural patterns that it exposes things which I'd learned to live with, or brushed under the carpet, then asks for examples how those very things have affected my life - which is pretty damn stressful to trawl through - like what do you mean that's not normal?!?

And on top of that, doing the childhood stuff has uncovered that I'm borderline dyslexic too. I've always been a slow reader and writer, and struggled to write setences within paragraphs in the right order, but figured that's what editing was for.

Talk about having a midlife crisis/mental springclean this year. I'm going to be like a new man at the end of all this

In case anyone is wondering, getting an assessment for either of thes is easy on the NHS, and it is worth doing if you've ever considered they might be something which has an impact on your life.

[DeskJockey]

Good for you trying to get to grips with it. Does sound like perhaps the form filling was best done in an interview with a specialist/professional?

[Beany]

I'd get in there fast, lots of places are implementing 12-24 month minimum wait periods for full assessments. That includes using private services, as that's what the NHS uses.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/202 ... ssessments

[240PP]

Good for you trying to get to grips with it. Does sound like perhaps the form filling was best done in an interview with a specialist/professional?

Seems to be a three year wait to actually see an NHS psychiatrist.

The private industry will sign you up as an ADHD’er over a 30min Zoom call.

[Gavster]

I'm doing it via a private clinic having been referred from the NHS Right to Choose scheme so will let you know if that's the case

[Gavster]

Good for you trying to get to grips with it. Does sound like perhaps the form filling was best done in an interview with a specialist/professional?

In some cases, yes, it would be a lot more helpful to walk through it with someone. It's pretty isolating sitting your own recounting stories of the difficult times in life onto a form.

There is also a load of info which needs to be done with friends/family. In some cases because I don't have the information (what was your mother's pregnancy like, what was the birth like, as well as loads about behaviour before the age of 5). Also there's a bunch of questions about current behaviour from a third person, e.g. close friend or partner.

Will see how the actual assessments play out once they've got all the info.

[Rich B]

My missus has been doing these too - she got a permanent contract with her work (she’s been a contractor for the last 3 years) and realised the company (BUPA i think) scheme covers it without waiting.

She’s been (mis) diagnosed with all sorts over the years and been given meds before for depression etc that never sat right with her. Just getting the word to say they’re confident she has ADHD was a massive relief to her as there were always compromises in the previous diagnosis’s, before they’ve even got to any possible treatments.

The forms are intense though - i had to do a few for her too…

[integrale_evo]

Had some horrible news this afternoon about a work colleague who had been struggling far more than any of us knew.

Not a close friend, but someone I got on ok with and with ~ 150 people working there, most people know each other to some degree.

Finding it fairly tough to process atm, and dreading going in tomorrow.

Mid 30s as a reasonable estimate, set to become a dad in 6 weeks or so.

Look after yourselves people.