Who is living their best life?

[John]

Lost of very poignant stuff...

You know, what happened to you is such a terrible thing but to go through it at your age is particularly shitty. It is really great to see you're doing well - I genuinely mean that despite know knowing each other really.

Long, long, long may it continue...

Exactly that.

[Marv]

Lost of very poignant stuff...

You know, what happened to you is such a terrible thing but to go through it at your age is particularly shitty. It is really great to see you're doing well - I genuinely mean that despite know knowing each other really.

Long, long, long may it continue...

Exactly that.

3rded.

[Jimmy Choo]

Big hugs to all those that need it.

The problem is that "best" is vague. I'm divorced (twice), missing various bit of my body that tried to kill me, my house is "a project" that hasn't moved forward significantly for quite a while, I'm discovering that I'm more neurodivergent than I thought and have passed that down to my eldest, I'm anxious and broke and dislike my job.

The daft thing is that I'm happy. I've reviewed my life and have a philosophy that works for me. I struggle with lots of things but that makes achievements even sweeter.

[Jimmy Choo]

And fuck me.

Best offer I've had all week!

[ZedLeg]

Big hugs to all those that need it.

The problem is that "best" is vague. I'm divorced (twice), missing various bit of my body that tried to kill me, my house is "a project" that hasn't moved forward significantly for quite a while, I'm discovering that I'm more neurodivergent than I thought and have passed that down to my eldest, I'm anxious and broke and dislike my job.

The daft thing is that I'm happy. I've reviewed my life and have a philosophy that works for me. I struggle with lots of things but that makes achievements even sweeter.

Very similar to me tbh. As I alluded to earlier the last couple of years have been pretty shit and I'm still not all the way out of it. I feel pretty comfortable in myself for the first time in ages though, which has led me to be happier in general.

[Mito Man]

You know, what happened to you is such a terrible thing but to go through it at your age is particularly shitty. It is really great to see you're doing well - I genuinely mean that despite know knowing each other really.

Long, long, long may it continue...

Exactly that.

3rded.

Cheers. I don’t like posting about this stuff and even people who know me from the last few years don’t know about my past - just spurred on by recent events here.

[dinny_g]

Don't feel you ever have to post anything about it - it's your experience to manage and go forward form as you see fit. But you seem to have a very good attitude to everything and living well which is great. (thought I'm sure there are difficult days)

Not everyone who goes through it comes out the same way. A friend of mine takes the post cancer "Live for every day - only get one life" etc mantra to such an extreme level, he feels actually anger towards people who he thinks aren't. You MUST live your life by his rules, his value system. Always striving, always out of your comfort zone, never stop etc. He has difficulty understanding how HIS "Always live outside your comfort zone" and my history of depression and anxiety don't sit comfortably beside themselves. And rather than just leave me be, he's constantly trying to "fix" me. It can get pretty wearying at times. If I had a pound for every time he said "Do you know what I think you should do..." I've have £300 of £400 fro the last few years.

Example -

Me - "I'm suffering from Depression"
Him - "You know what you should do, quit your job and start your own company. You will HAVE to succeed, otherwise your family don't eat so that will force you out of your depression"

Anyway, keep doing what you're doing - I never had any issues with you, even right back to the very early days. I've always thought you were alright

(#NotGrooming...)

[Beany]

Me - "I'm suffering from Depression"
Him - "You know what you should do, quit your job and start your own company. You will HAVE to succeed, otherwise your family don't eat so that will force you out of your depression"

The little problem with that is that having to succeed doesn't mean you will succeed.

People like that proper get on my tits.

As for my best life? I'm still working on having a functional life, never mind a 'best' one.

[Mito Man]

But that’s tying depression into finances essentially. Even if the business is very successful the owner may still have depression - look at all the wealthy celebrities who are still depressed.

[dinny_g]

Yep - absolutely right Mito…

[ZedLeg]

There's definitely a balance to be had, I'm much happier now that I'm not struggling so much financially but I've never been one to prioritise work over the rest of my life. I think I'm in the sweet spot of money and responsibility now.

[Gavster]

This thread has reminded me of Jimmy Carr's philosophy that the meaning of life is "enjoying the passage of time" which basically puts all this chasing and wanting into some perspective really.

The only caveat to that is that I genuinely believe it's far easier to achieve when all of your basic financial needs aremet. Having enough to pay rent, buy food, pay for transport and have a social life with friends and family makes life far more enjoyable. Unless you live in an ashram, then it's totally cool having nothing and you won't be reading this anyway.

[IanF]

Yes.. don’t need money to be happy.., but it’s a lot harder to be happy with no money

[duncs500]

Work always feels like the missing piece of the jigsaw for me, I just feel like I haven't found my place in the working world after 20 years at it. For most of my career I've felt like I've not really got the credit I deserved, but at some point you've got to stop thinking that everyone else is wrong and you are right.

So lately I've been thinking about making a change, and going into a role where I would no longer be a leader/decision maker. It would be a pay cut, less promotion prospects, but much less pressure as well. I know I'd be good at it, which hopefully would give me some level of advantage and some satisfaction. On the other hand I'm still basically half way through my career, do I really want to give up on having future opportunities by focusing on something niche? Will I actually be able to operate without the pressure? Last time I wasn't under pressure at work (covid) I didn't enjoy it. Sometimes I just feel like I can't be happy at work.

Anyway, apart from that, I'm pretty happy with life. I am bad for focusing more on the future than the present which sometimes I feel somehow guilty for, but that is in-built and actually I enjoy thinking about the future so is there anything wrong with that?

[ZedLeg]

You’re not alone in that Duncs.

I hate working, it’s not my job or the people I work with. I just resent having to spend 8 hours doing things I don’t give a shit about just so I can pay stupid bills

[240PP]

I am bad for focusing more on the future than the present which sometimes I feel somehow guilty for, but that is in-built and actually I enjoy thinking about the future so is there anything wrong with that?

Much the same for me. Always thinking about and looking forward to the future but for me that could be five years from now or a couple of hours, I never seem to really appreciate what’s happening right in that moment as much as I need to.

[Gavster]

So lately I've been thinking about making a change, and going into a role where I would no longer be a leader/decision maker. It would be a pay cut, less promotion prospects, but much less pressure as well. I know I'd be good at it, which hopefully would give me some level of advantage and some satisfaction. On the other hand I'm still basically half way through my career, do I really want to give up on having future opportunities by focusing on something niche? Will I actually be able to operate without the pressure? Last time I wasn't under pressure at work (covid) I didn't enjoy it. Sometimes I just feel like I can't be happy at work.

A quick anecdote about this - in the last 12-18 months I've actively removed myself from some business/management roles that I held in different organisations and have actively avoided engaging with work or initiatives that would push me into more powerful positions and the work relationships that they'd bring. I'm focussing on being really damn good at a small, niche work area, rather than chasing status, power or managing others. Life has become a lot more happy and chilled in the process

[Gavster]

Last night I had a very vivid dream that I had been chosen to die on Monday and I was spending the remainder of my time running around upset about that fact. I reckon the stuff on this forum this week has really got into my subconscious

[dinny_g]

You’re not alone in that Duncs.

I hate working, it’s not my job or the people I work with. I just resent having to spend 8 hours doing things I don’t give a shit about just so I can pay stupid bills

Similar here - I have consciously decided to remove myself from the Management Advancement treadmill. I like my current job so I'm happy to just do my job, take my salary and go home. I'm no longer interested in the "Negotiating myself into the next opportunity" or playing the "Networking / political game of advancement". I'm happy and content with this decision.

Of course my friend said - "Well you're giving up on life. If you stop trying to grow, you'll be dead within 5 years" - "But I'm growing in other ways" "You have to grow in EVERY aspect if your life..."

[ZedLeg]

You gotta rise and grind dinny