I think we settled on disliking rape but liking pizzas, and thought that would be enough

Nonsense man, all those things are yours and you should make sure she knows it.Rich B wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:38 am Women don’t want to be “kept”, they want their own stuff and contribute equally. That’s easy enough before you have kids, but once you have kids their earning capacity is often screwed.
My Mrs works 3 days a week and looks after our little boy the other 2 days so her earnings are a lot less than mine, so I end up paying the majority of our bills, I paid for her car, I paid for the house deposit/etc....
However, we treat it like a team - we both contribute what we can (we don’t have a joint account). So it would be a bit cunty for me to claim it all as mine because I paid the money for it.
This. When I was young, my Grandma and Grandad drilled it into me that when you're married, you're an equal partnership and if you don't get behind that concept, you'll never last as a couple.Rich B wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:38 am Women don’t want to be “kept”, they want their own stuff and contribute equally. That’s easy enough before you have kids, but once you have kids their earning capacity is often screwed.
My Mrs works 3 days a week and looks after our little boy the other 2 days so her earnings are a lot less than mine, so I end up paying the majority of our bills, I paid for her car, I paid for the house deposit/etc....
However, we treat it like a team - we both contribute what we can (we don’t have a joint account). So it would be a bit cunty for me to claim it all as mine because I paid the money for it.
I think I'm beginning to see the light hereNotoriousREV wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:46 amwhen you're married, you're an equal partnership and if you don't get behind that concept, you'll never last as a couple.
You can’t have one car as “ours” then the rest “mine” without any as “hers” though.
Agree with all that... we opened a Joint Bank account when we moved in together and only have one account. Everything goes in and everything goes out of the one account.NotoriousREV wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:46 amThis. When I was young, my Grandma and Grandad drilled it into me that when you're married, you're an equal partnership and if you don't get behind that concept, you'll never last as a couple.Rich B wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:38 am Women don’t want to be “kept”, they want their own stuff and contribute equally. That’s easy enough before you have kids, but once you have kids their earning capacity is often screwed.
My Mrs works 3 days a week and looks after our little boy the other 2 days so her earnings are a lot less than mine, so I end up paying the majority of our bills, I paid for her car, I paid for the house deposit/etc....
However, we treat it like a team - we both contribute what we can (we don’t have a joint account). So it would be a bit cunty for me to claim it all as mine because I paid the money for it.
MrsREV works part time and brings in less than 10% of what I bring home. But she's the one that manages the house and the kids etc. All the money comes in, we pay the bills, we split what's left equally. But, I never feel guilty about buying myself a new bike or a car. "Her" BMW is financed in my name, V5 in hers. It is hers, though, as far as I'm concerned.
Holding my earning power over her would be a pretty shitty thing to do, IMO. She couldn't even afford to pay her "half" of the mortgage, never mind anything else.
JLv3.0 wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:56 amI gave up years ago mate. I only have logic in my arsenal, and it's completely ineffective as a negotiation tool.
It's dead easy. You use logic right up to the point of near argument/upset and then you simply STFU.JLv3.0 wrote: ↑Wed Apr 10, 2019 9:56 amI gave up years ago mate. I only have logic in my arsenal, and it's completely ineffective as a negotiation tool.
Oh yeah, the Jewellery is hers, the outdoor and camping gear is mine for example.
This. Everyone approaches things differently. My Mrs grew up in a house where each parent had their own money, whereas I grew up in a household where everything went into one pot. We have a jnt account which only I use