Mental Health

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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

Post by NotoriousREV »

Beany wrote: Thu May 16, 2019 11:39 am I asked for that ;)

I might poke you on virtualisation stacks at some point, but regards the above post, I've done that thing that you just never do because it'll never end well. I asked for help.

....and work have helped, as literally no-one else could.

Something of a mini Road to Damascus moment in my life right now, which was terrifying last night, but seems more manageable now.

Asking for help, oddly, helps. I'd do well to remember that.

So everything isn't fine, but it's looking like it'll improve, or at least become more stable.
Good lad! Hope it works out.
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

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nuttinnew wrote: Thu May 16, 2019 3:29 pm ^ Good news quickly 8-)

I'm getting referred for testing to see if I'm on the spectrum. I don't think I am (but half of you lot probably were in the eighties) but it's something happening which is a positive, certainly more positive than being told on Monday i speak a different English to everyone else. My reply of "Bollocks do I." didn't seem to be misunderstood :?
Also a positive step forward.
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jamcg
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Re: Mental Health

Post by jamcg »

Best of luck to you all, the hardest part sometimes is admitting to yourself that something isn’t right. Hopefully with main stream media now promoting the video with Prince William etc. People will now realise it’s pretty ‘normal’ to have some sort of mental hiccup and it’s not some sort of evil demon that needs to be exercised with holy water
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dan
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Re: Mental Health

Post by dan »

If you want an unpaid job labouring on sports cars you can start this afternoon Dave, I don't need to see your cv.
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duncs500
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Re: Mental Health

Post by duncs500 »

dan wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 8:59 am If you want an unpaid job labouring on sports cars you can start this afternoon Dave, I don't need to see your cv.
:D
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

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dan wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 8:59 am If you want an unpaid job labouring on sports cars you can start this afternoon Dave, I don't need to see your cv.
Mate, I’d be there like a fucking shot if you were local. In fact, I’ll plan an inspection visit after I get back from Monaco.
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Rich B
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Re: Mental Health

Post by Rich B »

Could this be a good opportunity to relaunch the retro mod Mercedes idea? Whenever I’ve had a decent length of time off (admittedly only the odd month gardening leave between jobs), I’ve always preferred the idea of achieving something during that time. If i do nothing I just end up getting regret for wasting time.
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ZedLeg
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Re: Mental Health

Post by ZedLeg »

Starting a big project when you're depressed can be a double edged sword.

It might get you motivated to do stuff, but if you can't get into it the depression will just use it as another thing to beat yourself up over.
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dan
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Re: Mental Health

Post by dan »

NotoriousREV wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 10:08 am
dan wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 8:59 am If you want an unpaid job labouring on sports cars you can start this afternoon Dave, I don't need to see your cv.
Mate, I’d be there like a fucking shot if you were local. In fact, I’ll plan an inspection visit after I get back from Monaco.
Joking aside, you’re (and anyone else for that matter) always welcome for a mooch and a cuppa.
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

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Rich B wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 10:10 am Could this be a good opportunity to relaunch the retro mod Mercedes idea? Whenever I’ve had a decent length of time off (admittedly only the odd month gardening leave between jobs), I’ve always preferred the idea of achieving something during that time. If i do nothing I just end up getting regret for wasting time.
MrsREV is one step ahead of you and has banned any spending on vehicles until I’m working again :lol:

If it looks like I’ll be not working for a while, I’m going to sort my garage out. It’s an absolute dump. My plan is to fit kitchen units down one side and half the back wall for storage and workspace, then put a decent floor down, and some decent lighting. Won’t cost a fortune but will make it awesome.
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

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dan wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 10:37 am
NotoriousREV wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 10:08 am
dan wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 8:59 am If you want an unpaid job labouring on sports cars you can start this afternoon Dave, I don't need to see your cv.
Mate, I’d be there like a fucking shot if you were local. In fact, I’ll plan an inspection visit after I get back from Monaco.
Joking aside, you’re (and anyone else for that matter) always welcome for a mooch and a cuppa.
Who was joking? 😉
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JLv3.0
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Re: Mental Health

Post by JLv3.0 »

NotoriousREV wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 10:42 amIf it looks like I’ll be not working for a while, I’m going to sort my garage out. It’s an absolute dump. My plan is to fit kitchen units down one side and half the back wall for storage and workspace, then put a decent floor down, and some decent lighting. Won’t cost a fortune but will make it awesome.
That sounds like a tremendous plan, and just about the right size to tackle. I've been giving myself a bit of a talking-to the last few weeks, and it's time to turn my own life around a little bit.

I've spent the last two years waiting for or dreading things to happen - losing my job, the unwanted (at the time) pregnancy, a lot of my mates moving back to their respective home countries, and so on - and have basically been a bit paralysed with it all.

Total waste of time really - work will sort itself out with my input, the unwanted pregnancy has turned out to be one of, if not THE, best thing that's ever happened and just being a bit more sociable will see that side of life improve.

New phase beginning, and key to it all is being a bit more active and mobile, and not just waiting for the walls to come crashing down, as they never really seem to, and if they do I'm more than capable of building them again. We're all our own worst enemies.
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

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My current situation all started with me asking myself the question “what could I achieve if I wasn’t my own worst enemy?”. I wanted to understand why I was acting in such a self-destructive way, which lead me to the ADHD diagnosis.

Now I understand why I work the way I do (well, I’m starting to) so now I need to figure out how to do the things I need to do working with my condition and not against it. It doesn’t mean using it as an excuse for “bad behaviour” or poor performance, it means gaming my own brain to get the right end result, actively forming new, better habits etc.

I’m feeling really positive right now. Today is officially my last day at work and I’ve had lots of lovely messages from my colleagues and I’ve got some ideas about what I want to do next, which I think will be doing interim management roles and consultancy work (it appears that the mythical £1000 per day is almost achievable :lol: )

But for the next 2 weeks, I’m doing nothing.
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JLv3.0
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Re: Mental Health

Post by JLv3.0 »

1k / day is very achievable, but when you factor in the inclusions with a normal salary (paid holiday, health insurance, continuity of work, zero non-payment risk and so on) you soon realise it's not as much as you think it is! Ask me how I know :lol:
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

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JLv3.0 wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 11:27 am 1k / day is very achievable, but when you factor in the inclusions with a normal salary (paid holiday, health insurance, continuity of work, zero non-payment risk and so on) you soon realise it's not as much as you think it is! Ask me how I know :lol:
Yeah, and IR35 is a bitch, here.
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JLv3.0
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Re: Mental Health

Post by JLv3.0 »

Even tax-free it's a slog - people just see the day rate and multiply it by, say, 200 working days :lol: - it really doesn't work like that :D
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

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JLv3.0 wrote: Fri May 17, 2019 11:37 am Even tax-free it's a slog - people just see the day rate and multiply it by, say, 200 working days :lol: - it really doesn't work like that :D
I don’t work like that. I’m more a “what’s the minimum number of days I need to work to not end up homeless?”

If I got one 6 month contract a year, I’d be fine even inside IR35.

Short contracts would suit my short attention span and stop me getting complacent.
Last edited by NotoriousREV on Fri May 17, 2019 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Beany
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Re: Mental Health

Post by Beany »

I'm guessing you like bouncing from project to project (officially or otherwise) which consultancy is good for; I quite enjoyed my time at the MSV, working with dozens of clients ranging from indivdual retail customers, and one man bands to pretty chunky manufacturing outlets and global-scope pharma training companies, doing everything from migrating photos from phones to computers, to setting up full AD domains and offices.

Being long term perm to one client doesn't suit me generally, but I do find this lot are fun to work with, and while I'm not doing much pure tech work at the moment (which is extremely annoying) the rest of the management team like dragging me into other projects so it keeps me busy. I've been here near three years so they must be doing something right. That, and the stability of permy work is something I recognise that I need since having a breakdown back in the day.

As I say re the road to Damascus moment meself, I'm feeling a bit chirpier today. From JLs comment about the walls building up, I've kicked a couple of them down and am currently sorting through the rubble a bit. A few more to take a hammer to, but they're less important.

Although still having a sore back (if it's still bad next week I'm going to the docs) and now seeming to have a cold of some sort means I'm taking it a bit easier; self-care is a requirement, not a luxury; the trick is to work out what's self care, and what are self-defeating habits you think are health care.

IE, I've been having a couple of beers in the evening the last few months; I'm knocking that on the head and sticking to a Friday night bottle of plonk from now on. I'd imagine that'll have a knock on effect on my midweek sleep patterns, and my pocket. That's better actual self care than zoning out of an evening as I've been doing lately; that has actually been quite counterproductive.

Does rather feel like a fog has been lifted from my brain - lucidity returning which I hadn't even realised had gone.
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Re: Mental Health

Post by exiges »

Good thread guys. After trying various meds, I seem to have settled on Sertraline that works best for me.

But as Beany said, looking after yourself is key, so I'm walking several miles a day on my own just to clear my head, otherwise its a constant onslaught from people and phones.
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NotoriousREV
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Re: Mental Health

Post by NotoriousREV »

exiges wrote: Sat May 18, 2019 12:04 am Good thread guys. After trying various meds, I seem to have settled on Sertraline that works best for me.

But as Beany said, looking after yourself is key, so I'm walking several miles a day on my own just to clear my head, otherwise its a constant onslaught from people and phones.
Are you still on the zinc?

I always got the impression that you were the type of person that would find it difficult to switch off from work, more so given you’re the boss. That takes its toll over time.
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