weird road rage

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evostick
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weird road rage

Post by evostick »

I haven't had any problems on the road in regard to getting involved with morons for some time... up until yesterday that is.

I was just driving along, as you do, and then stopped for a red light. I pulled away and it became immediately obvious that the car behind me wanted to stay as close as possible (like inches) from my rear.

Now it happens from time to time but I do find it very annoying.

I tried going a little faster but this only seemed to encourage the cunt so I dropped the pace a bit and that made no difference either. He didn't want to get past me, he just wanted to piss me off.

He's not going away. He follows my every turn....all the way home.

I park up and he's at the end of my driveway. Now I didn't like that one bit. The fucker then gets out of his car and he's a big cunt. A great big fat cunt, probably 25 stone and all blubber. I didn't like that much either. I've tried to battle fatties before and it's hard work.

What to do, what to do! He's about to close his car door and (seemingly without due consideration) I watch myself charge at the cunt as hard as I can, managing to shove him back inside his spam chariot.

I deduced from his reaction that he didn't much approve of this at all. Starting off by accusing me of assaulting him and suchlike. Most aggrieved it would seem.

Now unfortunately I do sometimes let myself down a bit in these social interactions so I thought it polite to enquire as to what sort of welcome he was expecting when arriving uninvited at my address in such a fashion?.

This seemed to flummox the cunt for a bit and then he starts going on about not liking my driving. It seems that he did not approve of me breaking in front of him. A little to over zealous, apparently. All he'd wanted was a chat about it. Perhaps give me a few pointers like..

Now by this point a few of the neighbours were taking an interest in proceedings and I begin to wonder just where this is going. Hopefully not to the police station when fatty has a heart attack from me pushing him back in his car again.

Fatty's also wondering what to do next. I can see the cogs slowly turning. The silence is clearly awkward for him. He looks around. The neighbours are wondering what he's doing there. Probably wondering how he got so fat too.

He then informs me that he's estranged from his wife and adult children. His voice starts to break a bit, tears are forming in his piggy eyes. He tells me that he's a very disturbed man. I resist the temptation to congratulate him on the good judgement of his erstwhile family.

My bemused expression doesn't really give him much encouragement to share further. So he drives away. The fucker even manages to summon an air of righteous indignation about himself, waving to my neighbours and shaking his fat fucking head as if he felt sorry for them having to live near me.

I'm still standing there wondering wtf just happened when the inlaws turn up. Also uninvited.

Season to be jolly, my arse.
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Zonda_
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Re: weird road rage

Post by Zonda_ »

Did you shove the inlaws back in their car too?
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evostick
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Re: weird road rage

Post by evostick »

:lol: no. They're not so bad really.
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mik
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Re: weird road rage

Post by mik »

Enjoyable. Will read again. 8-)
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JLv3.0
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Re: weird road rage

Post by JLv3.0 »

Large or Gloucester Large?
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Zonda_
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Re: weird road rage

Post by Zonda_ »

JLv3.0 wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 4:27 pm Large or Gloucester Large?
Is that a type of pig?
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mik
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Re: weird road rage

Post by mik »

Double Gloucester?
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evostick
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Re: weird road rage

Post by evostick »

Gloucester large. Some type of pig/human hybrid perhaps.
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JLv3.0
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Re: weird road rage

Post by JLv3.0 »

Half man, half bear and half pig.






And normally pushing a pram and chowing down on a Doner for breakfast.
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evostick
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Re: weird road rage

Post by evostick »

They walk amongst us

Image
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Jimmy Choo
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Re: weird road rage

Post by Jimmy Choo »

evostick wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 5:03 pm They walk amongst us

Image
He lives over the road from me.
Banal Vapid Platitudes
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Zonda_
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Re: weird road rage

Post by Zonda_ »

Jimmy Choo wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:27 pm
evostick wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 5:03 pm They walk amongst us

Image
He lives over the road from me.
No Jimmy, it's a mirror. ;)
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mik
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Re: weird road rage

Post by mik »

That’s a Porcineotaur.
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Jimmy Choo
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Re: weird road rage

Post by Jimmy Choo »

Zonda_ wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 8:02 pm
Jimmy Choo wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:27 pm
evostick wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 5:03 pm They walk amongst us

Image
He lives over the road from me.
No Jimmy, it's a mirror. ;)
:( You cut me deep.
Banal Vapid Platitudes
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evostick
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Re: weird road rage

Post by evostick »

Jimmy Choo wrote: Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:28 am
Zonda_ wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 8:02 pm
Jimmy Choo wrote: Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:27 pm

He lives over the road from me.
No Jimmy, it's a mirror. ;)
:( You cut me deep.
tbf it looks like there's a lot to get through.
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Ascender
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Re: weird road rage

Post by Ascender »

Glad to hear it ended up with him crying and not you being bludgeoned to death with a tyre iron in your driveway. Result.

There really are some odious cunts out there though.
Cheers,

Mike.
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dinny_g
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Re: weird road rage

Post by dinny_g »

and it's amazing how many Road Warriors back down when you show them any sign of resistance...

Bet he was expecting a "Sorry mate, sorry mate, don't want any hassle" sort of response. NOT what he got...
JLv3.0 wrote: Thu Jun 21, 2018 4:26 pm I say this rarely Dave, but listen to Dinny because he's right.
Rich B wrote: Thu Jun 02, 2022 1:57 pm but Dinny was right…
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JLv3.0
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Re: weird road rage

Post by JLv3.0 »

If he followed you to your house, he should have been expecting a physical response of some sort.
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NotoriousREV
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Re: weird road rage

Post by NotoriousREV »

JLv3.0 wrote: Fri Jan 04, 2019 10:28 am If he followed you to your house, he should have been expecting a physical response of some sort.
100% this.
Middle-aged Dirtbag
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Barry
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Re: weird road rage

Post by Barry »

Gotta say, anyone follows me to that degree, no way I'm going to my home address. Either I'll attempt to lose them with mad skillz or I'm heading to Cheshire police HQ down the road.

Powerfully built director or not, I don't want them knowing where I live.
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