weird road rage
weird road rage
I haven't had any problems on the road in regard to getting involved with morons for some time... up until yesterday that is.
I was just driving along, as you do, and then stopped for a red light. I pulled away and it became immediately obvious that the car behind me wanted to stay as close as possible (like inches) from my rear.
Now it happens from time to time but I do find it very annoying.
I tried going a little faster but this only seemed to encourage the cunt so I dropped the pace a bit and that made no difference either. He didn't want to get past me, he just wanted to piss me off.
He's not going away. He follows my every turn....all the way home.
I park up and he's at the end of my driveway. Now I didn't like that one bit. The fucker then gets out of his car and he's a big cunt. A great big fat cunt, probably 25 stone and all blubber. I didn't like that much either. I've tried to battle fatties before and it's hard work.
What to do, what to do! He's about to close his car door and (seemingly without due consideration) I watch myself charge at the cunt as hard as I can, managing to shove him back inside his spam chariot.
I deduced from his reaction that he didn't much approve of this at all. Starting off by accusing me of assaulting him and suchlike. Most aggrieved it would seem.
Now unfortunately I do sometimes let myself down a bit in these social interactions so I thought it polite to enquire as to what sort of welcome he was expecting when arriving uninvited at my address in such a fashion?.
This seemed to flummox the cunt for a bit and then he starts going on about not liking my driving. It seems that he did not approve of me breaking in front of him. A little to over zealous, apparently. All he'd wanted was a chat about it. Perhaps give me a few pointers like..
Now by this point a few of the neighbours were taking an interest in proceedings and I begin to wonder just where this is going. Hopefully not to the police station when fatty has a heart attack from me pushing him back in his car again.
Fatty's also wondering what to do next. I can see the cogs slowly turning. The silence is clearly awkward for him. He looks around. The neighbours are wondering what he's doing there. Probably wondering how he got so fat too.
He then informs me that he's estranged from his wife and adult children. His voice starts to break a bit, tears are forming in his piggy eyes. He tells me that he's a very disturbed man. I resist the temptation to congratulate him on the good judgement of his erstwhile family.
My bemused expression doesn't really give him much encouragement to share further. So he drives away. The fucker even manages to summon an air of righteous indignation about himself, waving to my neighbours and shaking his fat fucking head as if he felt sorry for them having to live near me.
I'm still standing there wondering wtf just happened when the inlaws turn up. Also uninvited.
Season to be jolly, my arse.
I was just driving along, as you do, and then stopped for a red light. I pulled away and it became immediately obvious that the car behind me wanted to stay as close as possible (like inches) from my rear.
Now it happens from time to time but I do find it very annoying.
I tried going a little faster but this only seemed to encourage the cunt so I dropped the pace a bit and that made no difference either. He didn't want to get past me, he just wanted to piss me off.
He's not going away. He follows my every turn....all the way home.
I park up and he's at the end of my driveway. Now I didn't like that one bit. The fucker then gets out of his car and he's a big cunt. A great big fat cunt, probably 25 stone and all blubber. I didn't like that much either. I've tried to battle fatties before and it's hard work.
What to do, what to do! He's about to close his car door and (seemingly without due consideration) I watch myself charge at the cunt as hard as I can, managing to shove him back inside his spam chariot.
I deduced from his reaction that he didn't much approve of this at all. Starting off by accusing me of assaulting him and suchlike. Most aggrieved it would seem.
Now unfortunately I do sometimes let myself down a bit in these social interactions so I thought it polite to enquire as to what sort of welcome he was expecting when arriving uninvited at my address in such a fashion?.
This seemed to flummox the cunt for a bit and then he starts going on about not liking my driving. It seems that he did not approve of me breaking in front of him. A little to over zealous, apparently. All he'd wanted was a chat about it. Perhaps give me a few pointers like..
Now by this point a few of the neighbours were taking an interest in proceedings and I begin to wonder just where this is going. Hopefully not to the police station when fatty has a heart attack from me pushing him back in his car again.
Fatty's also wondering what to do next. I can see the cogs slowly turning. The silence is clearly awkward for him. He looks around. The neighbours are wondering what he's doing there. Probably wondering how he got so fat too.
He then informs me that he's estranged from his wife and adult children. His voice starts to break a bit, tears are forming in his piggy eyes. He tells me that he's a very disturbed man. I resist the temptation to congratulate him on the good judgement of his erstwhile family.
My bemused expression doesn't really give him much encouragement to share further. So he drives away. The fucker even manages to summon an air of righteous indignation about himself, waving to my neighbours and shaking his fat fucking head as if he felt sorry for them having to live near me.
I'm still standing there wondering wtf just happened when the inlaws turn up. Also uninvited.
Season to be jolly, my arse.
Re: weird road rage
Did you shove the inlaws back in their car too?
Re: weird road rage
no. They're not so bad really.
Re: weird road rage
Enjoyable. Will read again.
Re: weird road rage
Large or Gloucester Large?
Re: weird road rage
Gloucester large. Some type of pig/human hybrid perhaps.
Re: weird road rage
Half man, half bear and half pig.
And normally pushing a pram and chowing down on a Doner for breakfast.
And normally pushing a pram and chowing down on a Doner for breakfast.
- Jimmy Choo
- Posts: 2002
- Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:43 am
Re: weird road rage
Banal Vapid Platitudes
Re: weird road rage
No Jimmy, it's a mirror.
- Jimmy Choo
- Posts: 2002
- Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:43 am
Re: weird road rage
tbf it looks like there's a lot to get through.Jimmy Choo wrote: ↑Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:28 amYou cut me deep.
Re: weird road rage
Glad to hear it ended up with him crying and not you being bludgeoned to death with a tyre iron in your driveway. Result.
There really are some odious cunts out there though.
There really are some odious cunts out there though.
Cheers,
Mike.
Mike.
Re: weird road rage
and it's amazing how many Road Warriors back down when you show them any sign of resistance...
Bet he was expecting a "Sorry mate, sorry mate, don't want any hassle" sort of response. NOT what he got...
Bet he was expecting a "Sorry mate, sorry mate, don't want any hassle" sort of response. NOT what he got...
Re: weird road rage
If he followed you to your house, he should have been expecting a physical response of some sort.
- NotoriousREV
- Posts: 6437
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:14 pm
Re: weird road rage
Gotta say, anyone follows me to that degree, no way I'm going to my home address. Either I'll attempt to lose them with mad skillz or I'm heading to Cheshire police HQ down the road.
Powerfully built director or not, I don't want them knowing where I live.
Powerfully built director or not, I don't want them knowing where I live.