A fortnight ago
- Swervin_Mervin
- Posts: 4733
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2018 8:58 pm
Re: A fortnight ago
As per everyone else's comments, awfully sorry to hear your news Simon.
However, you really cannot beat yourselves up about what's happened with your pregnancy. As Jobbo says, it's actually a sadly common occurrence. I'm sure there'll be several people on here at least that can fully understand what you're going through, myself included.
On and 30/40 isn't old, certainly not by today's standards. We had ours at 38/39. Good luck going forward and, again as Jobbo says, just keep at it and enjoy the fun bits
However, you really cannot beat yourselves up about what's happened with your pregnancy. As Jobbo says, it's actually a sadly common occurrence. I'm sure there'll be several people on here at least that can fully understand what you're going through, myself included.
On and 30/40 isn't old, certainly not by today's standards. We had ours at 38/39. Good luck going forward and, again as Jobbo says, just keep at it and enjoy the fun bits
Re: A fortnight ago
Tough few weeks
I think failed pregnancies are more common than most people think, but often not spoken about, because of some sort of misguided “shame”? Surely that’s the main reason it’s not traditional to announce your pregnancy for 3 months?
I’m glad more and more people are opening up about it. I think it helps the people who it’s happened to, and also people who it might happen to
Very branch of you to speak up about it
I think failed pregnancies are more common than most people think, but often not spoken about, because of some sort of misguided “shame”? Surely that’s the main reason it’s not traditional to announce your pregnancy for 3 months?
I’m glad more and more people are opening up about it. I think it helps the people who it’s happened to, and also people who it might happen to
Very branch of you to speak up about it
Re: A fortnight ago
When you actually read up on what needs to happen at each stage just to get pregnant it's amazing it happens for anyone.
Keep shagging, distract yourself with a new dog and when the time is completely impractical you'll end up with triplets or even worse, ginger babies!
Dave!
Keep shagging, distract yourself with a new dog and when the time is completely impractical you'll end up with triplets or even worse, ginger babies!
Dave!
Re: A fortnight ago
Thanks for your thoughts everyone. You're right - it seems like it's a lot more common than most people realise, because it seems that often people simply haven't talked about it. The doctors said that if you exclude all those miscarriages for which the women didn't even know she was pregnant (ie it's just like a slightly heavy period) then the number of pregnancies that don't go full term is about 1 in 5. If you include those v early ones it's really a lot higher. And more besides have other complications - Heck, even I was born blue! (That probably explains a lot )
My O/H's Mum lost a number of babies before she was born, including one that went full term. How awful for her.
I've been thinking about this a lot today, and checking in with this thread a lot reading what you've all written. I think my closing comment about all of this is something I remembered earlier that one of the doctors had said to us. I'll paraphrase;
'Often a lot of people are left with a feeling that they've done something wrong, have done something to cause this to happen, and that perhaps they could've prevented it. The reality is that during fertilization all those millions of strands of DNA have to align perfectly, everything has to be 'just so', and as the baby develops further, more demands are put on that perfect fertilization in order to develop into a fully functioning human being, organs and all. When something is going wrong in that development because fertilization was imperfect the body is brilliant enough to say 'I've got to let this one go, it's not developing right' and to reject it. That's often all a miscarriage is'.
How accurate or true that is I'm obviously not in a position to argue, but I at least found it comforting.
On Benji, yes, we fucked that one right up. The mistake was made from the very first moment. We just didn't introduce them properly, and from that went the issues we had, and then with emotions and hormones running so high on Sunday evening we made a snap, possibly wrong decision to take him back. I've no doubt that if we'd done introductions properly, and if my O/H wasn't so tearful and stressed over the weekend anyway then he'd still be with us now.
Last night she talked to me about rescuing another kitten instead, which is perhaps a conversation for the new year. It's 2 weeks to Christmas and I haven't even started shopping, and still have a couple of big work tasks to complete before I go on my break.
So, thanks again all.
My O/H's Mum lost a number of babies before she was born, including one that went full term. How awful for her.
I've been thinking about this a lot today, and checking in with this thread a lot reading what you've all written. I think my closing comment about all of this is something I remembered earlier that one of the doctors had said to us. I'll paraphrase;
'Often a lot of people are left with a feeling that they've done something wrong, have done something to cause this to happen, and that perhaps they could've prevented it. The reality is that during fertilization all those millions of strands of DNA have to align perfectly, everything has to be 'just so', and as the baby develops further, more demands are put on that perfect fertilization in order to develop into a fully functioning human being, organs and all. When something is going wrong in that development because fertilization was imperfect the body is brilliant enough to say 'I've got to let this one go, it's not developing right' and to reject it. That's often all a miscarriage is'.
How accurate or true that is I'm obviously not in a position to argue, but I at least found it comforting.
On Benji, yes, we fucked that one right up. The mistake was made from the very first moment. We just didn't introduce them properly, and from that went the issues we had, and then with emotions and hormones running so high on Sunday evening we made a snap, possibly wrong decision to take him back. I've no doubt that if we'd done introductions properly, and if my O/H wasn't so tearful and stressed over the weekend anyway then he'd still be with us now.
Last night she talked to me about rescuing another kitten instead, which is perhaps a conversation for the new year. It's 2 weeks to Christmas and I haven't even started shopping, and still have a couple of big work tasks to complete before I go on my break.
So, thanks again all.
The artist formerly known as _Who_
Re: A fortnight ago
O/H is Brazilian so I believe it's genetically impossible?
As an aside, do you know how many latin women simply adore gingerness? Ed Sheeran is practically a god over there. If he'd got normal brown, black or blond hair he wouldn't be half as popular.
The artist formerly known as _Who_
Re: A fortnight ago
Tough times, I’ve also heard of the theory that many miscarriages are due to the body recognising severe problems with the chromosomes and there’s some pretty convincing science behind it.
At the end of the day the most important thing is to have a healthy baby and not a ginger mutant after all.
At the end of the day the most important thing is to have a healthy baby and not a ginger mutant after all.
How about not having a sig at all?
Re: A fortnight ago
I don’t have anything to add but best wishes to you Simon. Take care pal!
Re: A fortnight ago
Quite.
Unless you are talking to an IVF company
The Evo forum really is a shadow of its former self. I remember when the internet was for the elite and now they seem to let any spastic on
IaFG Down Under Division
IaFG Down Under Division
Re: A fortnight ago
There’s still a risk of it in central and South America due to Cornish tin miners going over there for work and sullying the gene pool.
I know a guy from Brazil with bright red hair.
An absolute unit
Re: A fortnight ago
Re: A fortnight ago
Except Cornwall, ironicallyJackleg wrote: ↑Tue Dec 11, 2018 5:09 amI think you'll find that wherever the Cornish go, they improve the gene pool
- NotoriousREV
- Posts: 6437
- Joined: Wed Apr 11, 2018 4:14 pm
- Jimmy Choo
- Posts: 2007
- Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2018 7:43 am
Re: A fortnight ago
Delphi has just had a kid and he's in his 80s.Swervin_Mervin wrote: ↑Mon Dec 10, 2018 12:40 pm
On and 30/40 isn't old, certainly not by today's standards. We had ours at 38/39.
Banal Vapid Platitudes
Re: A fortnight ago
FTFYJimmy Choo wrote: ↑Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:25 amDelphi has just had a kid and he's still living in the 80s.Swervin_Mervin wrote: ↑Mon Dec 10, 2018 12:40 pm
On and 30/40 isn't old, certainly not by today's standards. We had ours at 38/39.
LETS ROCK!!!!!!
Dave!
Re: A fortnight ago
And the largest group of "Non English Speaking" Irish descendants...NotoriousREV wrote: ↑Tue Dec 11, 2018 10:27 amThere are more Welsh speakers in Patagonia than in Wales.
that's a lot of Ginge floating about...
Re: A fortnight ago
Shit times Simon. We've had two miscarriages this year so I know what it's like. As Rev said it's so much more difficult for the lady in your life but we try to be positive. If there's something in the mix that isn't quite right then it's better that it happens at a few weeks rather than at the end as that would be horrific.
Enjoy the practice and don't put too much pressure on yourselves. Good luck!!
Enjoy the practice and don't put too much pressure on yourselves. Good luck!!