IT Stupid Question of the Week

[NotoriousREV]

"Would you be interested in a loose wire in the women's toilets?"
"Is it connected to a computer?"
"No"
"Then you should probably report it to the building manager"

[mik]

That was a clear come-on line.

Opportunity missed Rev.

[NotoriousREV]

That was a clear come-on line.

Opportunity missed Rev.

The worrying thing was it was a bloke reporting it.

[ZedLeg]

Why have you been spending so much money on equipment?

Because we've taken on a bunch of new people and they need things to work on.

Can't they share?

[NotoriousREV]

Our CFO today:

"Can I borrow an allen key to adjust my monitor arm?"

10 mins later...

"Can someone come and help me put my monitor arm back together?".

We laughed a lot.

[dinny_g]

[ZedLeg]

TBH that the one I posted was the best I could come up with means I must be doing alright, they mostly just tell me what they need to happen and leave me to figure it out. Until a £5k bill for mobile computers comes in and then they get all involved .

[mik]

That was a clear come-on line.

Opportunity missed Rev.

The worrying thing was it was a bloke reporting it.

You make it sound like that would mean you weren’t up for it?

[NotoriousREV]

That was a clear come-on line.

Opportunity missed Rev.

The worrying thing was it was a bloke reporting it.

You make it sound like that would mean you weren’t up for it?

You know I only have eyes for you, Mik.

[Simon]

In my second IT job 20 years ago people always used to pop their head around the IT door for anything that had a lead. Most memorable was when the kettle in the kitchen broke.

[NotoriousREV]

My desk in our new office is close to my first line team. I’d forgotten how bad it could get

[scotta]

My desk in our new office is close to my first line team. I’d forgotten how bad it could get

That’s grim.

[GG.]

"Would you be interested in a loose wire in the women's toilets?"

It's all about presentation... if he'd have asked you whether you'd be interested in a live wire in the women's toilets, well then I imagine he might have caught your attention

[Mito Man]

The local agricultural machinery supplier my dad uses have an IT technician. He had to give his chainsaw in to the IT chap to have the throttle position sensor reset and whilst in it had some firmware updates to make warm starts easier - I think that slightly beats the ridiculous firmware updates on my Bluetooth toothbrush in terms of unnecessary tech.
Said it was quite fascinating as it had a whole host of telemetry from engine hours to max rpm, temperature, error code logging and the ability to map the fucking thing - ON A CHAINSAW.

[Orange Cola]

Why have you been spending so much money on equipment?

Because we've taken on a bunch of new people and they need things to work on.

Can't they share?

Fucking annoying isn’t it? We’ve got the budget to hire them but we haven’t got the budget to give them the kit they need so they’re actually useful.

“No they can’t share”

“Well can’t they work in shifts?”

“Working nights isn’t in their contracts”

“Well can’t you just ask them to do it?”

“No, as explained, what you’re asking for isn’t in their contract”

“You have such a negative response to this”

[JLv3.0]

“You have such a negative response to this”

"That's how I always respond to idiotic, unrealistic requests. I'm going now"

[NotoriousREV]

Our previous CFO: “You’re £120k over budget, you can’t spend any more”

Me: “You signed off the build of a new contact centre. We had to put a network in or none of them would be able to work”

CFO: “That wasn’t in your budget”

Me: “No one told me we were building a new contact centre until 6 months after the budget was signed off. Would you like me to rip it out and send the stuff back?”

When I produced the email where she’d specifically said that the build was a separate budget she accused be of faking it. I was so glad when that bitch retired.

[ZedLeg]

I used to have the same conversation whenever I needed to spend money.

"this isn't up to the standard we need, it'll cost this much to get us where we need to be"

"that seems like a lot do we really need it?"

go back and forth until the thing I warned about starts to fail.

"Oh, shit we really need this"

Spend more than it would've initially cost to get it done quickly.

They mostly just leave me to it now though.

It's kind of fun working somewhere that's growing as quickly as we are tbh. The company's at least 4 times bigger now than it was when I started, making sure it's all working keeps me from getting bored .

[Swervin_Mervin]

“You have such a negative response to this”

Something we hear a lot, usually from architects when we point out all the flaws in their layouts.

[JLv3.0]

Or me when I used to forcefully laugh through my nostrils when told I had 12 months to design, build and hand over an operating hotel