Today's driving masterclass

[Ascender]

Pootling along on an A road this morning I'm behind a brand spanking new M4 (they've really made the backend/spoiler curvy haven't they?) and some wee van. Going down a long hill there's solid white lines on our side and two lanes up the hill. The M4 was getting twitchy at the van only doing the speed limit so I was expecting a special move in to oncoming traffic, which he thought about but obviously thought better of it.

Bottom of the hill and there's a junction on the left for traffic to join at a give way. There's a council luton van hurtling down there... He's going to stop though right? Nope, he's clearly not going to stop. Pulls right out in front of the van who slams his brakes on and jumps on the horn flashes his lights.

Tail-gating genius in the M4 slams the anchors on and jumps on the horn. Everyone starts to drive off but horns are still on. So the council van decides to just stop in the middle of the road so he can hang out his window and flick the bird at the traffic. My doors are locked, so I'm golden. But then he drives off.

We're now in single carriageway on a busy morning with traffic both ways. The council van for some reason has all his orange lights to presumably let us all know he's very unhappy that his shitty driving wasn't appreciated. Cue the cock womble in the M4 who now does live up to the stereotype I thought was and decides to overtake the innocent van and the council prick. Except there's now decent space between them all and there's traffic coming the other way.

Of course that didn't deter him so he swings out, barely gets past the council van causing two cars coming the other direction to brake and swerve off in to the verge to avoid being hit.

M4 doesn't stop and council van takes this very personally and speeds off to try and catch him. As tempted as I was to follow them to see the ensuing fisticuffs when they hit the bypass Q, I was late for an appointment.

I know all this can be filed under the "cool story bro" category, but honestly, shit like this just happens and nobody will get pulled up for it, no lessons will be learned and it will all repeat. Meanwhile, the local police frequently sit on that exact stretch of road, near the top, to see if they can get anybody for speeding.

* and relax *

[Simon]

Needs diagram

[JLv3.0]

Yeah I couldn't follow that very well either

[Ascender]

You can both suck a bag of dicks.

I'm just getting old ok.

[Rich B]

I think I would have typed the first 2 sentences on here then deleted it when I realised that no one would read it!

[dinny_g]

Guy in M4 doesn't overtake at a place where it's safer, but a bit iffy. Council man nearly causes an accident, M4 driver gets pissed off and as a result, tries to overtake at a much more dangerous spot causing 2 oncoming cars to have to swerve off to avoid.

something like that ???

[Ascender]

I think I'll put it down to a sugar dip while sitting in the office with literally fvck all to do.

[mik]

I think I would have typed the first 2 sentences on here then deleted it when I realised that no one would read it!

TL; DR

[NotoriousREV]

Who did what on the M4?

[GG.]

Some driving. Badly.

[nuttinnew]

[Simon]

I've got it now.

Why not report the council tard (even if you don't know his reg, you know the time/place so they'll work it out). It's amazing that people are so aggressive in such identifiable vehicles. See it quite often in vans plastered with company logos.

A few years ago a moron in a water company van decided to undertake a load of traffic at 80mph+ on the hard shoulder of the M4. I contacted the water company, because that driving is just not cricket, and they launched an investigation and removed him from van driving duties, and also thanked me for reporting it.

[drcarlos]

There’s still loads of special out there and you hope that they get caught on camera and sanctioned but it’s unlkely. We saw one last week. Pulled onto m3 in the smart section only going down a single junction stretch to find the inside lane closed and a 50 limit in place due to a stranded vehicle, so we moved into the second lane no problem in a little line of traffic doing 50. Along come some prick in a polo thinking that he can do 70 down the inside gambling that the stranded car is after the jct and he’ll get off first. Nope car is broken down about 100 yds before and he has to stop quickly with no one letting him in and the traffic womble in attendance shrugging his shoulders in front on the car and me giving him the wanker out the van window.
At least there is a good chance of him getting fined and points due to the camera coverage there.

Carl

[Marv]

I read this as "White van drivers act like twats, but as a little time passes, it is revealed that the proper twat is the driver of the high performance BMW, as expected"

[Rich B]

I read this as "White van drivers act like twats, but as a little time passes, it is revealed that the proper twat is the driver of the high performance BMW, as expected"

we all have our cross to bear.