Your fleet running reports

[mik]

Have hit rabbits and birds, but never a deer thankfully. Came very close on a 1am drive from Aberdeen into Braemar about 20yrs ago (with a known slow puncture so was taking it very easy). I blinked and there was a deer 3m from the front of my car heading left to right. Braced for impact and instinctively swerved and it whizzed past my drivers side window. Still amazed we managed to avoid a connection.

[Matty]

Hit a cat once, smashed the shit out of the Merc and cost me £400 to fix, little bastard.

What A2 do you have nuttin? Been looking at one to replace the Bora...

[Mito Man]

Nasty. On Monday I saw a car stopped on the side of the A2 in a precarious place (no hard shoulder) then a woman ran across in front of my car to the central reservation, then I saw from my rear view mirror that she picked up a dead looking dog. Fuck knows how that series of events happened but what a shit Easter for them.

[GG.]

Still amazed we managed to avoid a connection.

Sometimes you just don't see eye to eye. Dating can be like that.

[Zonda_]

Audi serviced today. Off for wheel bearing and what feels like top mounts tomorrow.

[Broccers]

Changing insurer on the Caterham from next month to get the missus driving it. Need a West Midlands skid pan to book her some time on, but there doesn't appear to be one

Prodrive?

[ste]

In an Elise commuting home on the A272 (my blue one FWIW) and went to overtake. For some reason I hung back a few seconds longer than I usually would and the Focus in front hit a large stag. It pretty much obliterated the front of the Focus, was very thankful I'd hung back.

A line of cars stopped and we all uselessly gawped at the poor animal that was still alive but had numerous injuries and a mangle of broken sticks where its legs should be. Thankfully a woman about 4 cars back said she was a vet and went back to her car to get drugs to put it to sleep. I made my excuses and cautiously drove off.

[speedingfine]

In an Elise commuting home on the A272 (my blue one FWIW) and went to overtake. For some reason I hung back a few seconds longer than I usually would and the Focus in front hit a large stag. It pretty much obliterated the front of the Focus, was very thankful I'd hung back.

A line of cars stopped and we all uselessly gawped at the poor animal that was still alive but had numerous injuries and a mangle of broken sticks where its legs should be. Thankfully a woman about 4 cars back said she was a vet and went back to her car to get drugs to put it to sleep. I made my excuses and cautiously drove off.

Buy a lottery ticket tonight Ste

Cheers Broccers, good shout

[scotta]

In an Elise commuting home on the A272 (my blue one FWIW) and went to overtake. For some reason I hung back a few seconds longer than I usually would and the Focus in front hit a large stag. It pretty much obliterated the front of the Focus, was very thankful I'd hung back.

A line of cars stopped and we all uselessly gawped at the poor animal that was still alive but had numerous injuries and a mangle of broken sticks where its legs should be. Thankfully a woman about 4 cars back said she was a vet and went back to her car to get drugs to put it to sleep. I made my excuses and cautiously drove off.

In My elise - going to meet messers mik and associated reprobates for a highland run.

Deer ran across right in front of me FUUUUUUCK.......OH FUCK THERES HIS MATE!!! thumped the brakes HARD and stopped locking all 4 wheels. Rental Van coming the other way took out his mate as he was level with me. That was Close. It would have been right into my side door - and me as i had the roof off

Luckily we were just coming out of a 30 limit and i was following another car that deer 1 ran behind so stopping didnt take long.

[mik]

I’ve just remembered that either Nef or Mudge took out an innocent mouse/vole on our first meet-up. Right in front of me. RIP

[Rich B]

I once had a bird fly through the spokes of my front wheel when mountain biking... it didn’t end well.

[JLv3.0]

I once had a gazelle fly through the spokes of my back wheel when road biking... it didn’t end well. For me. The gazelle seemed fine. I was too concussed to care tbh.

[mik]

I’ve seen a Horse Fly.....

[Beany]

In an Elise commuting home on the A272 (my blue one FWIW) and went to overtake. For some reason I hung back a few seconds longer than I usually would and the Focus in front hit a large stag. It pretty much obliterated the front of the Focus, was very thankful I'd hung back.

A line of cars stopped and we all uselessly gawped at the poor animal that was still alive but had numerous injuries and a mangle of broken sticks where its legs should be. Thankfully a woman about 4 cars back said she was a vet and went back to her car to get drugs to put it to sleep. I made my excuses and cautiously drove off.

In My elise - going to meet messers mik and associated reprobates for a highland run.

Deer ran across right in front of me FUUUUUUCK.......OH FUCK THERES HIS MATE!!! thumped the brakes HARD and stopped locking all 4 wheels.

I did similar in the Micra, but at 60mph, and didn't stop - locked up, slid between the two of them at a quite detectable angle (cough, dodgy brakes, cough) and then hammered the gas, straightened up and just carrier on with my heart in my mouth and a stain in my pants.

Started taking my time a couple of hundred yards down the road when I calmed the fuck down.

Learned an important lesson about driving on forest roads that day!

[mik]

A dab of oppo and you were away?

[DeskJockey]

Volvo claimed a pheasant once. Blooming big thump on the windscreen, but no damage. Pheasant went up and over, never to be seen again.

[scotta]

Volvo claimed a pheasant once. Blooming big thump on the windscreen, but no damage. Pheasant went up and over, never to be seen again.

My works focus got one. It jumped off a dry stone wall and ran in front of the car. By the time i got my foot to the brake pedal id hit it. It then wedged istelf between the gill and the radiator and i had to pull it out by the feet....then jetwash under the bonnet to get rid of the guts and blood.

Luckily a new grill on a Mk1 Focus only cost £15 from Ford.

[V8Granite]

A sheep survived and ran off, a Hare ruined a grill, bumper bracket, bonnet, fog light etc. We’ve killed 2 dogs in Cabinda (feral ones everywhere) and a few birds.

The worst was a bang from something, I had a look and couldn’t see much. A bit further on my car started to overheat so I popped the bonnet and saw slightly cooked crow all over the radiator blocking it. The smell was awful and it somehow made it through the grill without breaking it.

Animals be crazy.

Dave!

[Beany]

A dab of oppo and you were away?

Dab of shart more like.

[Jackleg]

I hit a Dartmoor pony in my E36 once, as I was, funnily enough, driving across Dartmoor. It was only at about 30mph and it seemed to be fine. It just shook itself and wandered off. It made a right mess of my front wing and headlight though. What made it even worse was that 5 minutes beforehand is overtaken a dawdler, who then proceeded to shout "that will serve you right for driving too fast" as he passed me. Cunt.

I also hit a cat in the Volvo. I saw it sitting in the verge, so I moved across to the other side of the road to give it some space. Unfortunately, it decided to bolt across the road right in front of the car. The double thud as it went under the wheels shook me up for the rest of the trip