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Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:42 am
by Sundayjumper
Would you / did you have an open bar at your wedding ?

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:47 am
by RobYob
Yes, however we only invited 12 people. :)

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:52 am
by DaveE
The compromise is to put X amount behind the bar so people can have free drinks (I think it's nice to treat those close to you etc) but after that they have to pay.

If you're worried about people taking the piss, then I'd suggest they're not the kind of people you should be inviting anyway.

IMO weddings should be small, intimate with only people you really care about.

Not some random colleagues etc whose names you won't even remember in a few years when you look back at the photos...

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:53 am
by DaveE
RobYob wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:47 am
Yes, however we only invited 12 people. :)
Wow, that's even smaller than ours (although not by much) :D

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:55 am
by JLv3.0
DaveE wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:52 am
The compromise is to put X amount behind the bar so people can have free drinks (I think it's nice to treat those close to you etc) but after that they have to pay.

If you're worried about people taking the piss, then I'd suggest they're not the kind of people you should be inviting anyway.

IMO weddings should be small, intimate with only people you really care about.

Not some random colleagues etc whose names you won't even remember in a few years when you look back at the photos...
Every word of that.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:56 am
by RobYob
DaveE wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:53 am
RobYob wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:47 am
Yes, however we only invited 12 people. :)
Wow, that's even smaller than ours (although not by much) :D
My brother eloped so the bar was set very very low for us :D

Glad we went so small though, I never expected to enjoy my wedding so much, but it was great.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:25 am
by Simon
JLv3.0 wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:55 am
DaveE wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:52 am
The compromise is to put X amount behind the bar so people can have free drinks (I think it's nice to treat those close to you etc) but after that they have to pay.

If you're worried about people taking the piss, then I'd suggest they're not the kind of people you should be inviting anyway.

IMO weddings should be small, intimate with only people you really care about.

Not some random colleagues etc whose names you won't even remember in a few years when you look back at the photos...
Every word of that.
Exactly. Invite only your closest family and friends. Intimate is the word.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:35 am
by John
The only guests we had were the witnesses, a gardener and cook from the hall we were married at. Perfect.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:38 am
by Sundayjumper
DaveE wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:52 am
The compromise is to put X amount behind the bar..,
That’s what we did; for the sake of keeping the poll simple I’d count that as ‘yes’.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:43 am
by duncs500
I know that weddings are expensive things, but I would sacrifice many 'nice to haves' for an open bar. The idea of asking people to come and pay for a hotel etc and tell them they've got to buy their own drinks seems unpalatable to me.

I must caveat that with saying that I got married in Poland where everything is considerably cheaper!

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:52 am
by Rich B
John wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:35 am
The only guests we had were the witnesses, a gardener and cook from the hall we were married at. Perfect.
That’s more than at mine! Me, the Mrs, the dude who did the words and a photographer.

Some people get so tied up in the whole “what’s expected” at weddings - you hear about women losing their shit over table decorations, party favours (what ever that means) or some other meaningless bullshit.

Run your wedding how you want it rather than what you think other people want.

However, for the thread - I’d prioritise the party element over anything to do with the ceremony, so drinks would be free flowing and churches/flowers/matching outfits/wedding cars/etc would be ditched.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:53 am
by JLv3.0
The more elaborate the wedding, the shorter the marriage itself seems to last.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:59 am
by duncs500
Rich B wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:52 am

However, for the thread - I’d prioritise the party element over anything to do with the ceremony, so drinks would be free flowing and churches/flowers/matching outfits/wedding cars/etc would be ditched.
Absolutely this.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:00 am
by NotoriousREV
I can’t remember ever going to a wedding with an open bar. At our wedding we paid for the drinks with the meal but not an open bar. We had 40 at our wedding, and cost around £8k 16 years ago yesterday.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:01 am
by Richard
JLv3.0 wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:55 am
DaveE wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 8:52 am
The compromise is to put X amount behind the bar so people can have free drinks (I think it's nice to treat those close to you etc) but after that they have to pay.

If you're worried about people taking the piss, then I'd suggest they're not the kind of people you should be inviting anyway.

IMO weddings should be small, intimate with only people you really care about.

Not some random colleagues etc whose names you won't even remember in a few years when you look back at the photos...
Every word of that.
Also in agreement

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:01 am
by NotoriousREV
duncs500 wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:59 am
Rich B wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:52 am

However, for the thread - I’d prioritise the party element over anything to do with the ceremony, so drinks would be free flowing and churches/flowers/matching outfits/wedding cars/etc would be ditched.
Absolutely this.
I always tell people planning weddings that no one remembers the sugared almonds in little gold nets, but they do remember having a good time.

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:03 am
by duncs500
JLv3.0 wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:53 am
The more elaborate the wedding, the shorter the marriage itself seems to last.
Perhaps inflated expectations for the wedding means inflated expectations for the marriage. :D

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:06 am
by JLv3.0
Could be that, or it could be (and I know I'm plagiarising Four Weddings here) they run out of things to do so pour all their energy into The Wedding, forgetting that once the one-day-event has been and gone, they are going to stay married afterwards :lol:

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:08 am
by Richard
duncs500 wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:03 am
JLv3.0 wrote:
Sat Aug 03, 2019 9:53 am
The more elaborate the wedding, the shorter the marriage itself seems to last.
Perhaps inflated expectations for the wedding means inflated expectations for the marriage. :D
I think, and could be wrong of course, that people who do the big weddings are often doing it because that’s what you’re “supposed to do”. They’re getting married, because they’re supposed to. And to prove how in love they definitely 100% are, they spend loads on the wedding like they’re supposed to do

Re: Wedding Reception

Posted: Sat Aug 03, 2019 10:18 am
by NotoriousREV
My mate married a woman who, it turned out, very definitely wanted a wedding but didn’t want a marriage. I think it lasted 6 months (the marriage, not the wedding)