2018 - A Year In Review & Plans for 2019

[NotoriousREV]

Oh, and Rev: a lot of what you describe also describes me. I only realised over Christmas that you have blocked me on FB; I promise not to argue with you if you want to unblock me.

Please don't take that personally (I know that sounds odd), I was just getting "triggered" (ugh, I hate that word) by a lot of things so had to block a lot of stuff on social media for my mental health. I probably should ditch it all in 2019 but can't bring myself to do it.

[Beany]

Placeholder post. Short version:
Relationship that had me thinking I might actually be a functioning member of society fell to pieces,
Change in meds helped burning that bridge and be a bit more sanguine about that

Brother is more stable financially so less stress on that front
Fun car
Work has improved slightly, but still royally winds me up.
Currently starting 2019 in a holding pattern.

[Jobbo]

Oh, and Rev: a lot of what you describe also describes me. I only realised over Christmas that you have blocked me on FB; I promise not to argue with you if you want to unblock me.

Please don't take that personally (I know that sounds odd), I was just getting "triggered" (ugh, I hate that word) by a lot of things so had to block a lot of stuff on social media for my mental health. I probably should ditch it all in 2019 but can't bring myself to do it.

No problem - I didn't think I posted that much anyway. Sorry if all the cat pictures do that. And sympathies.

[evostick]

Oh, and Rev: a lot of what you describe also describes me. I only realised over Christmas that you have blocked me on FB; I promise not to argue with you if you want to unblock me.

Please don't take that personally (I know that sounds odd), I was just getting "triggered" (ugh, I hate that word) by a lot of things so had to block a lot of stuff on social media for my mental health. I probably should ditch it all in 2019 but can't bring myself to do it.

Hey Dave, why not just get yourself diagnosed with some other spurious bollocks?. It might help you feel better about being such a cunt.

<runs away and hides>

[IanF]

Christ, I hope 2019 is a better year for you all, and Mito especially.

Rev, don’t those three qualities describe most men, of our generation at least!?

2018 Positives:

Parents moved back to UK.
My son did really well at his GCSEs, and is enjoying his A-Levels. Plus he’s got a job at Waitrose, so saves me 15% on our weekly shop.
My daughter now goes to a great school, she’s enjoying it and her new teachers actually seem able to teach.
My wife is back to running 50km a week, so is in a better mood now (most of the time) plus she hasnt crashed a car in months!
Dogs are both doing well, and enrich all our lives much more than I imagined two dogs could!

Negatives:

I went for a promotion at work that would’ve meant less flying and more home time, but was unsuccessful.
I’ve realised that I’ve been in quite a foul mood especially at home, with a short temper and childish sulks because I’m constantly fatigued (and getting old!)
My daughter’s school is costing me not just financially, but also by limiting where and when we can move, (no garage for another two+ years now, etc)


2019:

Go somewhere different this summer.
Plan a mini-break every 2-3 months with just the missus and I.
Get a new hobby that is outdoors and good for my wellbeing.
Don’t be so obsessed with making money.
This may even be the year I start replying promptly to emails, although this may still be a step too far!

[JLv3.0]

I probably should ditch it all in 2019 but can't bring myself to do it.

Serious question Dave - what do you get out of it? I know I can be a keyboard warrior at times but it never 'delivers' for me and I can't be bothered these days.

[evostick]

2018 was a difficult year for me personally. It was the first year that I actually felt like I was getting old. Not like I was out of shape or owt but more like I couldn't physically do quite as much as I used to do. This pissed me off and brought on all the associated age-related mortality woes and shit like that. Navel-gazing. I realised that I'm completely bored to death with work but I need to maintain the income so I'm stuck with it. Everything else is basically fine though.

I stopped following the news which helped cheer me up a bit.

I also stopped listening to anything other than classical music which tbh seemed to make a dramatic improvement in how I felt generally. I'm also not dependant on booze anymore which makes me feel far more in control of my life.

With my head not quite so firmly stuck up my own arse, I became more aware of just how hard things are for some people. Relationships around me breaking down, health problems and the loss of loved ones. I'm very lucky.

I sorted out a few issues that I've been carrying around since I was a kid. I wish that I'd done it a whole lot sooner. I'm a better person for it.

2019 - I'll take what comes. I enjoyed biking again last year and want to spend more time doing it this year. I also want to make the most of family life. The two older ones are horrible teenagers now and it's tough sometimes but I know it's fleeting and I want to be able to look back fondly and without too much regret. If I'm lucky enough to still be around and in sound mind

Wishing you all the best for the coming year. There really isn't much shit that I look at online now but I still very much enjoy reading the content on here. Apart from the Gaming forum. I won't notice or mind if that gets deleted.

[NotoriousREV]

2018 was a difficult year for me personally. It was the first year that I actually felt like I was getting old. Not like I was out of shape or owt but more like I couldn't physically do quite as much as I used to do. This pissed me off and brought on all the associated age-related mortality woes and shit like that. Navel-gazing. I realised that I'm completely bored to death with work but I need to maintain the income so I'm stuck with it. Everything else is basically fine though.

I stopped following the news which helped cheer me up a bit.

I also stopped listening to anything other than classical music which tbh seemed to make a dramatic improvement in how I felt generally. I'm also not dependant on booze anymore which makes me feel far more in control of my life.

With my head not quite so firmly stuck up my own arse, I became more aware of just how hard things are for some people. Relationships around me breaking down, health problems and the loss of loved ones. I'm very lucky.

I sorted out a few issues that I've been carrying around since I was a kid. I wish that I'd done it a whole lot sooner. I'm a better person for it.

2019 - I'll take what comes. I enjoyed biking again last year and want to spend more time doing it this year. I also want to make the most of family life. The two older ones are horrible teenagers now and it's tough sometimes but I know it's fleeting and I want to be able to look back fondly and without too much regret. If I'm lucky enough to still be around and in sound mind

Wishing you all the best for the coming year. There really isn't much shit that I look at online now but I still very much enjoy reading the content on here. Apart from the Gaming forum. I won't notice or mind if that gets deleted.

Hey Tim, why not just get yourself diagnosed with some spurious bollocks?. It might help you feel better about being such a cunt.

[NotoriousREV]

I probably should ditch it all in 2019 but can't bring myself to do it.

Serious question Dave - what do you get out of it? I know I can be a keyboard warrior at times but it never 'delivers' for me and I can't be bothered these days.

Most of what I do is driven by my desire to escape the world. I used to read a lot, now I just go on the internet to drown out the real world, and quieten my brain down. It's a diversion. Other than that, nothing, really.

[evostick]

Hey Tim, why not just get yourself diagnosed with some spurious bollocks?. It might help you feel better about being such a cunt.

I'm absolutely sure that it would Dave

[Simon]

2018 was pretty good for me.

We spent the first full year in the new house. Short of a lottery win, this will be our forever home. It's a modest 3 bed detached in leafy Surrey, but really we just don't need anything more, save for a small ground floor extension to push the back wall out a bit and to build an office for me in the side return behind the garage. That is 6 years out though.

We had some positive family stuff happen earlier in the year, and we managed to get away twice - Menorca for a beach holiday for a week in summer and Rome for 5 days at the end of November / early December. We really enjoyed both, and the O/H enjoyed Rome much much more than she thought she would. I think this will shape our future breaks - a week somewhere hot and relaxing, and separately a week somewhere interesting (we're looking at Iceland or maybe Denmark/Norway for this year's 'interesting' holiday).

I've spent a lot of money since moving though. New bed/Tempur mattress (super-king), new electric reclining sofas, new Piano, ££££ on car parts, holidays, and the other half's Visas and associated solicitors costs have meant I haven't been saving like I would've liked until now. Spending seems to have settled down a bit now though, and with my new role that I started early last year bringing in more money I hope to build up the reserves again.

Late last year brought us our pregnancy woes, but that's all documented elsewhere on the moaning forum so I won't go into it again here. I will put this out there though. One of the things I absolutely love about my other half is how grounded she keeps me. She's Brazilian, with family roots in Paraguay. So whenever I start to grumble about the car being a bit shit or having to spend more time than I want to sorting things out around the house, she gives me some perspective by basically pointing out how I'm the 'rich white boy' (that's a relative term, BTW), living in their own house in a pleasant corner of one of the most civilised countries on the planet. We may live a modest life, but compared to many of the other 7.5 odd billion people out there, I really did win the 'life lottery'. That grounding is almost ingrained in me now, but sometimes a conversation around Bolsonaro or the NHS will remind me about it all and I'll reflect again.

2019?

I have a very busy January lined up, with a week in Vegas on a work conference, a few customer visits, finally moving my office at home from bedroom 3 to bedroom 2, some DIY that needs doing and some critical car maintenance required. That and getting the O/H pregnant again will surely exhaust my energy levels.

After that I'm hoping to start decorating the rest of the place, but some decisions need to be taken on new windows, internal doors etc etc before then so that we can have a coherent colour scheme through the house. Hopefully I'll also be decorating the then empty bedroom 3 to be a baby room (fingers crossed).

I had found a new car a week ago, but it was £30k and my conscience stepped in and pointed out that was a lot of money to spend when we've impending life changes, so I think I'm restricting my spend to £20k-£22k and waiting for the right cars to depreciate into that bracket. The amount of time and money I've put into the current car should ensure it lives for a bit longer anyway.

Now that the garage is sorted and the bikes readily accessible I'm hoping that spring and summer will see us out on the bikes again and trying to get a bit fitter than I/we are now. If I can get the RC planes back flying again that would be great too.

The last thing I want to do is to try and get Mum/Dad into the 21st century and allow me to equip them with a dishwasher and tumble dryer. Mum is 73 and Dad 74 and it's about time that Mum didn't have to stand in the kitchen washing dishes or faffing about trying to dry clothes around the house in the winter months. If they invested in a gardener for their huge garden and a decorator to take over and finish the decorating that'd be perfect, but those two are stretch goals to be honest.

I think if we achieve the above by the time 2019 is over, then I'll be a happy man, and hopefully this time next year I'll be complaining about sleep deprived nights and not about whether Netflix is working properly.

Mito - that's incredible what you've been through, and to be honest I'm surprised you haven't shared more on here sooner than you already have. Certainly puts things into perspective. I hope 2019 makes you (all) stronger, healthier and happier.

[Swervin_Mervin]

Best of luck for 2019 Mito - that's a fecking horrible account for 2018 for anyone to have to go through.

Well, 2018 saw me dreading going back to work as I'd already come to the conclusion I couldn't stick it any longer. I'd been there 12yrs and, despite enjoying my time there It had been nagging at me for a couple of years by that stage that I needed to do something about it. I'd already (in late '17) applied for a position as head of Transport Development Control at Cornwall Council, and they'd been interested in interviewing me. Sadly I had zero holidays left and it's not the sort of place you can just pop to on a "site visit". It did, however, make us think very hard about the prospects of ever moving down there - it's still not ruled out, but at the time I couldn't face essentially living apart from my wife and young son for what would effectively have to have been 6days/week, if not longer at a time.

So I spoke to my boss/line manager in the New Year. Told him I wasn't sure what I was going to do but I knew that my future lay elsewhere and wanted to give him chance to deal with that - 3 of us have been a fairly tight knit team now for 10yrs, and me and him for much longer. It was fairly quickly apparent that he felt much the same about where we were, and that, if I was to quit and/or the 3rd member were to start a family (they did) he knew it would be a struggle to stay on - there was a huge exodus of people from the industry following the crash in 2008, and so finding anyone of the right calibre at a more junior level is something we've struggled with over the last 10 years.

Anyway a month passed and the wife was made redundant in March/April when Amec Foster Wheeler were bought and subsumed into Wood Group (which saw most IT related posts go entirely). This necessitated me staying on for however long it would be necessary until she found gainful employment elsewhere. That turned out to be 3mo! I was pretty much working like a drone at that stage, running on autopilot and just getting hte job done. Thankfully in early June though, me and my colleagues found ourselves in a position to make that huge change we'd been thinking about. Notices were handed in and, after a fairly choppy period we settled into our 3mo notice periods, with a hell of a lot of work to get through. September took an age to come around, but when it did it was a total blur.

1 of our 3 went on mat leave immediately and so for the last 3mo two of us have been trying to keep our heads above water. So far it's going very well - we've almost returned our personal investments and will shortly be taking a wage! 2 people is unsustainable at the rate we've been working though, so we're currently considering our options, not least as this year shows no signs of slowing down from last year. It would be nice to take some leave at some point soon though and know it's in capable hands - Christmas was the only time off we've really had since this all kicked off back in June and we're knackered.

Outside of work, life has taken a back seat really. Chuff all has happened on the house, and I've done next to nothing personally. Hopefully a settled and profitable 2019 will see such things change, however. Any free time I do have I'm trying to maximise with the little one, as he's now at the age where he's able to get involved, and he loves it (I nearly wept with pride a couple of months ago when he needed only one demonstration to work a ratchet socket for the first time). Over Jan and Feb we're looking to get the front of the house tidied up, some work done on the roof to sort all the flashings out, start kitchen planning (the last big project to do on the house) and I'll hopefully finally get around to tackling the big shed at the bottom of the garden. Now it has a new door I can look to start tidying it up with a view to fitting it out for brewing. I have my first harvest of homegrown hops in the freezer to use!

[Foz]

Pretty bland compared to some on here!

Work was chaos- small company that’s growing really quickly! More of the same in 2019 I suspect.

Me and the wife both hit 40 this year which was pretty scary!
Our youngest (5) has been diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder and adhd to come, which has been really really hard, he’s just about coping at school but the diagnosis helps there, just means we can’t go on holiday abroad etc and I feel bad for his big brother and sister.

The racing was shit, to great, an engine issue cost me the entire series bar 2 meetings up here, ROR was another highlight and winning our class, well you can’t go much better than that can you!

Next year is to do more testing and racing- the Loltus has unfinished business on the podium and I might do some more endurance stuff budget dependant.

Regards road cars we are imminently replacing the family ML, with probably a FFRR (I know) and as much as I like the 911 I walk to work and find myself using it purely as it’s been sitting for a while. I can’t imagine a more sorted 4S is out there and I still love the noise (different backboxes and a K&N ) but I can’t help but wondering if I should buy another racecar

The older I get the more I would rather spend money on doing stuff, rather than having stuff, well race cars are all about the experience but bloody expensive as well!

I Hope everyone has an improved year!

Cheers

[Barry]

I probably should ditch it all in 2019 but can't bring myself to do it.

Serious question Dave - what do you get out of it? I know I can be a keyboard warrior at times but it never 'delivers' for me and I can't be bothered these days.

Most of what I do is driven by my desire to escape the world. I used to read a lot, now I just go on the internet to drown out the real world, and quieten my brain down. It's a diversion. Other than that, nothing, really.

You and Kai/Dave should arrange more rides to Wales, biking is they only thing keeping me sane.

[16vCento]

2018 started off badly, little one was poorly, in hospital for an emergency operation but recovered and is fine now, the sight of seeing him flop unconscious when the put the mask on him will stay with me for a long time though

Work was as it's been for the last few years, then a job came up I've wanted for ever which I applied for and didn't expect to get, and then i got it which means a lot of changes for the better, the wife has progressed through being a teacher for the last few years and is in a great position as well now so we're very comfortable, which is nice for a change.

Bad year for cars, as the MCS and my Dad gave me his 308 which is a great family car, but very slow and not great to drive.

The S60 continues to impress me and is the only car other than the Mini I've had for over 2 years, it's great and will stay regardless of what else i get.

Hope to get an I Pace to replace the 308 this year or a Disco Sport, I'll miss the ability of having 2 tow cars if I get the I Pace but it would save on fuel and tax a lot!

Think we will be moving soon to a bit of a bigger place in the same area and hopefully 2019 will be a healthy year for us all!

Hope you all have a good year, and hope you have a year of better health Mito, that's a lot you've been through!

[DeskJockey]

This is one of my favourite threads every year - thanks JL! It always helps give a sense of the people behind the keyboards.

Mito: krya på dig! You've certainly got something to battle with.

Rev: you get better too! I have been wondering how you can have so much time to spend online arguing with muppets, this makes it clearer. I enjoy your battles, but wouldn't have the energy myself. Hopefully part of your recovery (is that the right word?) means you won't feel you need to cover the noise.

2018 was a good year. We welcomed our daughter to the world in March and she is now crawling around the floor, happily making many very loud noises (well, not right now. She's asleep in her bed, it is late!). The elder two are also well and happy and just as loving, caring, wonderful, funny, thoughtful, frustrating, annoying, and cute as you would want a five and three year old to be.

In fact we started 2019 in style by moving the littlest one out of our bedroom! For the first time since she was born I could read my book (the very same book I started a couple of weeks before she was born, I think I've managed 20 pages in the 10 months since) in my bed. It was an amazing feeling, but back to last year...

We've primarily been focusing on the addition to the family and house projects. We now have a new shed, a concrete path-less garden, a pebble-dash free facade with all three sides of the house (semi-detached, not living in a triangular house) freshly painted, most of the interior painted/repainted/wallpapered, and new floors throughout the downstairs. Still a few more jobs to do, but that will come.

We've had two good holidays this year. First was three weeks in the summer. My aunt decided that she wanted to bring the entire family together for the first time since my mum died, so after much searching we (I say we, it was the other half) found a small chateau a couple of hours south-east of Paris, which became the site of a week long holiday with both my aunts, my three cousins, my eldest cousin's partner and daughters, both my sisters with partners and children, us five, my dad and his partner, and my sister's mother-in-law (her husband died just before Christmas last year, so we decided to invite her along).

All in all we were 22 people with seven children under seven. It was really great, the house was enormous, the pool perfect and the garden was walled, so the kids could roam quite freely.

From there we headed out to the west coast and to a static caravan that could have fitted in the chateau living room twice over. But there was a pool, water slides, the beach a five minute walk away, and best of all grandma and grandpa. They joined us for a week which helped both us and the kids.

For autumn half term we drove back to Denmark overnight which turned out to be much easier than feared. Having our own car made it much easier (and significantly cheaper) and will definitely be the way forward when we're going for a week or more.

Work wise I spent the year working towards a promotion, but it is frustratingly slow to happen. Change has been coming since the autumn, so they're not making any team structure changes until the overall change has been made. I was rated top performer in my team and given a decent pay bump (although still not on par with recent, less able joiners, the vagaries of staying...) and is being involved in more management-y aspects while being helped to raise my profile internally.

Not changed the car, it continues to do what it does without complaint.

In recognition that I am not a spring chicken either (42 looming on the horizon) I've taken up squash again and am reducing my sugar intake (not quite going as well as I wanted it to). I don't think I did anything meaningful on the bikes which frustrates me.

So what for the new year? I'm hoping the promotion will come through, doing everything I can to make it happen. I've been given responsibility for the training and development of our junior team (based in Budapest), so I will have to travel there at least a couple of times, but it is an interesting change to normal and fits in with my management trying to build me up and make me more visible to the powers that be.

If the promotion does happen, it should come with a car allowance...

There are also more house projects (joinery in the living room, new bathroom, and a few more things to paint).

Looking forward to the missus going back to work and the extra income that will bring. I will continue with the squash and make an effort to get out on the bike more. But most of all I am resolved to enjoy life and my family and be less frustrated when things don't happen the way I want them to.

[NotoriousREV]

Serious question Dave - what do you get out of it? I know I can be a keyboard warrior at times but it never 'delivers' for me and I can't be bothered these days.

Most of what I do is driven by my desire to escape the world. I used to read a lot, now I just go on the internet to drown out the real world, and quieten my brain down. It's a diversion. Other than that, nothing, really.

You and Kai/Dave should arrange more rides to Wales, biking is they only thing keeping me sane.

Yeah, Kai wants to hit 5k on his Super Tenere. Dave just needs more time in the saddle. I'm going to drag him up to the Ponderosa. I'm waiting for him to get better gear, though (he's building it up slowly).

[Marv]

Most of what I do is driven by my desire to escape the world. I used to read a lot, now I just go on the internet to drown out the real world, and quieten my brain down. It's a diversion. Other than that, nothing, really.

You and Kai/Dave should arrange more rides to Wales, biking is they only thing keeping me sane.

Yeah, Kai wants to hit 5k on his Super Tenere. Dave just needs more time in the saddle. I'm going to drag him up to the Ponderosa. I'm waiting for him to get better gear, though (he's building it up slowly).

Maybe the forum motorbike meet* should be in Wales?

*Which will never happen

[Jackleg]

I realise that I don't post here very often, but posting this might be a mild catharsis for me.

Mito, I hope your recovery is a speedy one.

2018 was rather a mixed year for me. The first half started off great. The weather was fantastic after the initial cold snap in March, a long hot summer made working outdoors and on the water very enjoyable. The missus and I had a short break in Worcestershire at the beginning of May, coinciding with the start of the hot weather, followed by a camping trip in June, watching an excellent performance of Hamlet at the Minack and exploring where I grew up in West Cornwall. Managed quite a bit of dinghy sailing, but only one "big boat" sail over a long weekend along the south coast. Started surfing again which I thoroughly enjoyed, and realised how much I'd missed being in the water and not just on it. Plenty of BBQ's and getting the garden sorted made for a happy summer.
Late summer saw what was a relatively minor disagreement with the missus blow out of all proportion and us going our separate ways, which has left me shocked and completely heartbroken. Up until that point we'd never really even had an argument, just occasional grumps with each other- generally caused by me being hungry.

Work is becoming a frustration. It's great in the summer and I love messing about in boats, but I've pretty much reached as far as I can go. Or, certainly as far as work is willing to pay for me to go. I was offered another job earlier in the year, but turned it down as my current employer said if I stayed they'd pay for further qualifications. When I pushed them on this after a few months of them avoiding the subject, they eventually said that it was too expensive to justify right now. Which has left a fairly sour taste in my mouth.

Dog: he's still bumbling along. He has a problem with his back legs, which nobody seems to know what the problem is, he's happy enough though. Unfortunately some of the walks that he loves are just a bit too long for him to cope with now.

Car: It's a Honda Accord. It's fairly bland, but it does what I need it to and aside from needing a clutch a few months ago, it just keeps on ploughng on. I'd love a V8, or a fun car again, but that's not likely to happen anytime soon.

Plans for 2019: I'm very seriously considering going back into mining and emigrating to Australia. Mining is booming over there at the moment, and the money far and away exceeds anything that's on offer in this country. And whilst the work schedule isn't great, it will give me a chance to build up my savings again whilst I decide what to do next with my life/career.
Speaking of which, over the last few months I've come to the conclusion that I don't want to be stuck doing manual work for the rest of my life. I've a few ideas of what I'd like to do, which I need to look into seriously over the next few months. The route into them that covers the most bases is to take A levels which is a fairly daunting prospect, especially as it will be distance learning and very much outside my comfort zone.
Aside from that, I'd like to start surfing more and get a new surfboard. But I'm struggling to justify the £700 price tag that it comes with.
I'd like to procrastinate less. Unlike half the forum, I don't have ADHD, I'm just fucking lazy
A holiday would be nice, but meh, maybe I can pretend that emigrating is a holiday.

[Barry]

You and Kai/Dave should arrange more rides to Wales, biking is they only thing keeping me sane.

Yeah, Kai wants to hit 5k on his Super Tenere. Dave just needs more time in the saddle. I'm going to drag him up to the Ponderosa. I'm waiting for him to get better gear, though (he's building it up slowly).

Maybe the forum motorbike meet* should be in Wales?

*Which will never happen

I think organising something in Wales stands a better chance of getting at least some of us together, but it's not entirely fair on Tim, Broccers et al.

Rev - anytime you can give me notice if you're heading to the Ponderosa, with Kai and/or Dave, between us all I bet we know some great routes too. A good day out with like minded riders would be great therapy for us all IMO.